Jacinda Staver Poet Free verse

Mom

Mom

So many words to say, so many things unspoken
where were you when all I needed was your love
and devotion?
To protect me from all the evil and darkness in this world
But instead, you decided to sacrifice your own little girl…
To be your husband’s play toy, to be touched inappropriately
yet whenever I told you, you didn’t want to flee.
Instead, you joined in and then it became three…

I was a child, what was I supposed to do?
I had no one to tell, because that person was supposed to be 
YOU! You were the person I was supposed to tell those things to
whenever someone made fun of me, or took advantage of my body.
Instead, you decided that your husband was more important,
that you literally tainted our relationship
And you made it become potent!
How? What? And why?
Do you know what you did to me
made me want to die....

The torture of having to live with you every single day
but having no other choice because 
I had no one to pay my way
Of getting out of that hellhole…
How is it that I can still think about someone I HATE so ing much?
I can’t stand you for everything you did, and for every time
You touched….me. You’re an evil horrible
human being, and you didn’t deserve to be loved.

But yet you were adored and loved by our whole family
except for those who truly know what you and Keat did to me.
You see Mom, your job as a mother was to 
care for me, nurture me, love me
not abuse me, molest me, and let your husband have his way with me.
But even after ALL the f-ed up stuff you did,
strangely enough, you still raised a pretty awesome kid.
Yes, ME…that’s right, it is me. 
Because the difference between you and I mother
Is this……….

You only cared what was in a man's pants, whereas I actually 
care for, cherish, nurture, and love my children 
with ALL of my heart. 
Because if I EVER found out that someone did
to my kids, what you and your crappy husband did to me
They’d be buried 12 feet underground with a hole in their head.
But thank God, oh thank God, you’re already dead.

So now I will never have to worry about
my children growing up with you around,
because all you ever did was bring 
everyone and everything down. 
The only one true thing I could ever thank you for
is for giving me life, so I can raise my kids
to be better than both you and I.
Good Riddance and Goodbye.

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Jacinda Staver April 20, 2023 at 11:56 AM Thank you Geetha madhurya, I really appreciate the comment. It did take a lot of strength and courage to muster up and write this poem, showing the most vulnerable parts of myself and my past, and putting it all out in the open. But I just want to let other people know, they're not alone. <3

Geetha Madhurya April 18, 2023 at 2:03 PM wow it is so admirable, it really takes guts to channel ur past and all that memories of it into this poem hats off

Jacinda Staver April 15, 2023 at 9:38 PM Beata Agustin, thank you very much for your comment. It took a lot of strength and courage to post a poem like this, to tell people of the trauma that I had suffered as a child, but if I can get the word out of what happened to me and share my past trauma, maybe others can open up and do the same. And to let them know that they're going to be okay, even after everything they've been through. <3

Beata Agustin April 15, 2023 at 5:36 AM Thanks for sharing this... exposing your thoughts about a sad reality through your unique poetic style. Welcome to Poetry Soup. I welcome you with the love of the Lord, expressed by John 3:16 of the Bible, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." God bless you.