Best Handy Poems

Nail fools when I bang this hammer, construction worker

I use my tool, that's my chick, I love to work her

Ain't putting her on the strip, no prostitution

She's my problem solver, always got a solution

Put haters to sleep, tuck 'em, not in the bed

Love to give...

Continue reading...

When flipping a house
                                         ...

Continue reading...

There was a bearded Irish man
who had the very largest hand
whose fingers plunged
when my hips lunged 
all his digits at my command....

Continue reading...

I went out with a boy called Andy
Whose tipple was Courvoisier Brandy
     He was a typical bloke ~~~
     But whilst drunk, he groped ~~~~
For the Brandy had turned this boy randy






http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/humour-3.php...

Continue reading...

Tap tap-tap-tap tap-tap 
He hunts and pecks his words
Each one seems a struggle 
Just to get the ink to the paper
He does this incessantly
From four in the morning until noon
Everyday.
What’s he writing in there? 
I see him leave every afternoon
Always the same clothes and shoes
Where...

Continue reading...

Handy Man

I am some handy man
I say to myself
So I grab the sander
From off of the shelf
I grab the sandpaper
I tighten the belt
When they see what I’ve done
Their hearts will just melt
I’ll sand those floors
Till they’re smooth as glass
And I’ll do it all 
Sitting square...

Continue reading...

Please lend me your handy man
Let’s share HIM! Now that’s a plan
I too need some FUN
So be a dear, hon
And send me that Irish man

I won’t keep him very long
Oh, dear, now that would be wrong
I’ll send him to you
When my OOOOOOssss are through
For to...

Continue reading...

As sweet and fluffy as cotton candy
Is my love who is so handy
With his repair kit to fix things dandy
It's so nice to have man about___eyecandy...

Continue reading...

I suppose it wouldn't be that bad to star in a cheesy tv show if the show was about cheese.

Careful what you order in the Korean noodle shop. It might arrive with mayonnaise on top.

Why are there no great InCel stand-up comics? And people say...

Continue reading...

Our son"s name is Andy
He has a friend named Randy
Other people call him Handy Andy
Because he gets things done
He works alone
Getting his job done....

Continue reading...

As night grows closer
And the days get cooler
You'll hover inside of your hermit shell.
Then one night inside of a hall
We'll pass each other by.
You'll speak too fast for your lips
And your skin will scorch the sun.
As you try to take back what you've
Been meaning to...

Continue reading...

Handy Andy, such a dandy;
Left his lunch bag in the pantry.
Ended up at a drive thru;
Where Chef Lou had the flu;
Sick Andy’s no so handy.
...

Continue reading...

A DOVE’S DELIVERANCE

Sit down my sweet, 
‘tis yonder chair awaits you
Help yourself to some brandy and candy corn
And by the way
I bless the day when you were born

Partake with me in this portion of a vision
Perpetual promises kept in the privacy of a preamble to...

Continue reading...

The Handy Work of God
David J Walker

I call them my flowers

	as if
They were really mine
	
As if I really 
Owned the earth 

	as if I could
Make the sun shine

	as if  could 
call down the rain

	as if I could refrain
 the storms angry hailstones

	As if
I were...

Continue reading...

Rollo Rigby was a lover of candy
he kept a big supply ever handy.
But he became so obese
he waddled like geese.
He quit candy but is hooked on brandy
(making his life fine and dandy)....

Continue reading...