Best Hams Poems

"You really wanna know? Cause I'll tell ya if you really wanna know. You'll be thinkin' I'm crazy before I'm done, but I'll tell ya......

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Candy floss, seaside rock, smoothies, and flags sporting
Union Jacks
Replace the old traditions of striped deckchairs 
And Kiss-Me-Quick hats.
Chipwicks for our salt and vinegar fries
And their...

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Lord, we are so grateful fer the gracious bounty of Yer Creation!
But there are some things You created that cause us some vexation.
We appreciate that...

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Though often called by lovers
for my wicked deadly aim
when I sight with an arrow
and I chant the whispered name.

Sometimes, the shot gets tangled.
I don’t like...

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Those of us who live on farms 
Aren’t immune to springtime's charms 
We simply take a different view 
Spring to us is mostly poo 

While...

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I met with some bankers in fine textured suits.
I struck a deal quick. (I had such a knack.)
I offered rare cacti and tropical fruits –...

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OKTOBERFEST

Wielding the power of the hefty beer stein,
Energized with viking-like biceps,

We lift the suds in veneration 
In front of our patriotic hearts.
Lively band plays Ein...

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Yesterday, I happened upon a quaint, old-time country store.
I felt I was reliving my youth as I trod its squeaky wooden floor!
The sights and smells...

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Canis Lupus the Dufus

He did battle with three little hams
was embroiled in the Riding Hood scams
now slower of gait
he simply must wait
for a visit from...

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A really mouth watering sandwich
one that wets an hungry appetite
just what sandwich does one select
from a selection of bread brown and white

The favourite one for...

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12 eggs a cracking
11 prawns a peeling
10 potatoes baking
9 cookies crumbling
8 cheery cherries
7 sweeten oranges
6 cheesy caulies
5 gooooooooolden loaves
4 turkeys roasting
3 puds a steaming
2 happy...

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The Pilgrims were so happy to finally set foot on Plymouth Rock,
They decided that the time had come for each to take some stock.

They built...

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For several years when our kids were little, every Thanksgiving Day, we all loaded up and headed for Aunt Fanny’s house.   New faces...

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My Dad was a very practical man, so adept at many things.
Why, he could fix my bike and replace a watch's springs!
Many times I stayed...

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" 'Tis to breakfast we now go! "

Baconnnn.... Baconnnnn.... Baconnnnn!
Breakfast is she makin'~
Toast with butter & jam!
Eggs even & with fried ham!

Baconnnnnnn!
Baconnnnnn!
Pancakes & milkshakes!
Goodness gracious...

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