Best Gross Poems

My boyfriend was agitated
Because I was constipated
We'd be late for the game
Of course I was to blame
My butt hole's not dialated

On and on he whined and waited
Use of laxatives, debated
In my gut it was stuck
I could smell it... oh yuck
Boyfriend getting more frustrated

I could hear...

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We planted a gross of strange, cube shaped fruits
Below the soil, then waited for shoots
When summer was through
Only twelve grew
Which is what you get when you plant, square roots...

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Red meat is fine, and burgers I adore,
but meat that is disgusting I deplore.
To eat pigs’ feet or some poor creature’s brain
I think a person has to be insane.
A friend of mine once asked me eagerly
to try her meat dish, but I could not see
that...

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A Maggot couple began the tradition of getting married in June......

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Bugger nose

Finger goes

Roll roll roll












Poem written as a Ellip ( form of Haiku) for Ellip Contest....

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I’m dining with my cousin Giles
Who disclosed he’d terrible piles
He’s wriggly and twitchy
Cos his butt’s so itchy
His visage is sad, there’s no smiles

He’d  tried using soft margarine
This process had just made him scream
So he did not linger
With his index finger
But Anusol worked like a...

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Mam told me I must eat my greens
I’m certain I know what she means
I pick lots of snot,
And then eat the lot
It’s tasty and full of proteins! 

Mam’s livid and screams ACT YOUR YEARS
Aged fifty, I burst into tears
She whacks me round the head
Then she...

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Gross insect!
O Monstrosity!
Of putrid death beguiling me.
Be gone! O blemished devil’s bat!
You vex me perched upon my lap.
Such ugly gait and sticky bait,
Of bile produced from concentrate;
Detestable untouchable
Beyond my intellectual conception
That your existence has some meaningful intention.
   
     With...

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don’t need the KGB
don’t need the CIA
don’t need the FBI
don’t need the MI5
don’t need the ASIS
don’t need the SIRC
don’t need the CSE
don’t need the I&SC
don’t need the MSS
don’t need the PAP
don’t need the SGDN
don’t need the BfV
don’t need INTERPOL
etc.
etc.
etc.---
because mr. zuckerberg had a
dream
mr. zuckerberg wants...

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Just once, could you
Understand my 
Side of
Things?

Over and over again and we
Never
Even get to the point that I'm

Mostly right!
Open your eyes to
Reality!
Even a child can see

That it's your fault and you're the
Only one to

Blame!
Let go
And just deal with your
Mistakes.
Even though I don't know how that...

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Gurgling bowels
Summon me to china bowl
Diarrhea spurts...

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The river’s running higher than the river’s run before
I knew it was; there’s three feet of it on my kitchen floor
And next doors garden shed came crashing into my front door
But I needed a number two and I could wait no more

I waded to my...

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Warning: vaguely gross content... hmm, can something be ‘vaguely’ gross?

NO TOILETS IN THE SKY
To the tune of Ghost Riders In The Sky (loosely)


Santa’s doing tinkles as he travels on his way
Sprinkling golden showers ’cross the moonlit sky today
He has no private place to pee which...

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Trump Is Gross

There is no doubt Trump is gross
Around waist has much adipose
Small hands and lips that pucker
And definitely is a dumb clucker
Actually thinks that he is verbose.

Jim Horn...

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Gross Income 


80% of the entire global wealth
Is owned by 15% of the global population

Never before in the annals of human history
Has so much been owed 
To so many
By so few

The economy is collapsing
All around us
People that we see
On the streets and suffering

The system setting...

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