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No Toilets In The Sky - vaguely gross

Warning: vaguely gross content... hmm, can something be ‘vaguely’ gross? NO TOILETS IN THE SKY To the tune of Ghost Riders In The Sky (loosely) Santa’s doing tinkles as he travels on his way Sprinkling golden showers ’cross the moonlit sky today He has no private place to pee which fills him with dismay For there’s no public toilets... in the Milky Way Santa’s got his legs crossed cos he’s been out on the beer His guts are throwing tantrums and he wishes home was near He knows he’s gonna poo his pants that fact is fairly clear For there’s no public toilets... in the upper atmosphere He needs to go He needs to pray No toilets in the sky Santa hits some turbulence and says a little prayer He needs to poo and piddle but there’s nowhere private there He’s sure he gonna throw up and become a vomit sprayer For there’s no public toilets... in the ozone layer Santa’s gonna poop himself, how will he show his face Public humiliation, and permanent disgrace He can’t hold on much longer, though he needs a private place For there’s no public toilets... on the edge of space He needs to go He needs to pray No toilets in the sky Santa belched and burped and then his tummy grumbled loud His fart was wet but silent, he was glad because he’s proud Santa’s really trying not to throw up over crowds For there’s no public toilets... high above the clouds Santa’s doubled up, good job the reindeer know the way He’s squirting out of every orifice a putrid spray All kinds of hell are raining down on Earth this Christmas Day For there’s no public toilets... in the Milky Way He needs to go He needs to pray No toilets in the sky No toilets in the sky No toilets in the sky

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018




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Date: 12/15/2018 3:10:00 AM
Well, Terry I've already said it in three other comments --- you definitely have a great sense of humor. Even with Santa spewing 'Christmas leftovers' on everybody down below, your poem is aptly accurate regarding his condition. I know -- I've been there!
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Terry Flood
Date: 12/15/2018 1:59:00 PM
Thanks, Curtis. I’m flattered that at your 3:10 am you’re reading my jottings instead of visiting the land of nod.