Best Gremlins Poems
I'm having trouble leaving comments that I find frustrating
Soup have kindly emailed me saying they are investigating
Yesterday I tried leaving comments and a couple did get through
Then that frightful message appeared that turned the air blue.
I even wrote about it in a blog to throw light on the situation
So you'd know I wasnt ignoring you that would'nt be my intention
It happens on my tablet and even on my smartphone
And from the comments I've read; I know I'm not alone.
Russians, Chinese and aliens have all come to mind
But realistically I'm pretty sure a gremlin they will find
Though why this is happening? remains a dark mystery
And its adding fuel to the fire of some dark conspiracy.
I've made contact with some poets away from the site
They too are in agreement that something is not right
Ive added screenshots as proof so that you can all see
I'm confident they'll find the problem and restore my sanity.
Or maybe I'm in a nightmare and everyone has me blocked
Thinking that I'm some sort of troll, well I'm truly shocked
It certainly wasn't me that stole someone's verses of rhyme
If that was the case soup would ban me for a long time.
Written 4th August 2020.
A Monster in My Closet
There’s a monster in my closet
He’s looking right at me;
His eyes glow red – his teeth are green;
He’s as scary as can be.
There’s an ogre in the corner
I know for sure he’s there;
I can smell his breath from here
And see his slimy hair.
There’s a gremlin behind my chair,
Growling like a beast;
Slowly now he creeps toward me;
Someone stop him please!
There's a giant river troll
Underneath my bed;
Snorting, drooling, hiding there -
I think his name is Fred?!
There’s a creature on my ceiling
Hanging from one claw;
Waiting just to pounce on me
With his grimy paws.
There’s phantom at my desk
Silent as can be,
Hovering up in the air,
Giant as a big oak tree.
There’s a goblin at my window
Trying to get in;
Tapping on the windowpane;
I see his sneering grin.
My mother comes to check on me;
She sees my fear, my fright;
Sitting on my bed she says:
“Turn on the light!”
Today the gremlins return to me
Sneaking up to bite so nastily
Breathe deeper yet still
Trying to fill
Consume that space within
Before those bastards can get back in
Too late they have invaded
Left me wilted jaded
Still I run as if i coukd vanquish their existence
! Dam the resistence!
Trying to not drown in this sea of strife.
To live and survive this up life
Green Gremlins were all the rage in nineteen seventy-four.
I am not talking about creepy fat-headed full bellied tiny beings.
I am talking about cheap cars with a V-8 and four on the floor.
Everyone had one, so common, most of us were tee-heeing.
Painted a variety of colors, and riding in them made you kind of sore.
We wore hip hugger bell-bottoms and had a hippie-like look.
This was in ’74, and believe it or not, this is no folk lore.
If you do not believe me, just look up a Gremlin in a picture book.
Gremlins In My Keyboard
Gremlins in my keyboard
They get me every time
Just when I think I’ve got it made
They screw up every line!
They wait until I’m pressed for time
When haste is of the essence
Hiding in between the keys
I never feel their presence
Smugly I sit back and skim
My latest great creation
So sure I am that it will be
A Literary sensation!!
The hour’s late…my eyes grow dim
Drink some wine to clear my head
This just makes me sleepier
I can’t wait to go to bed
I log on bright and early
To see my poem divine
I hope to see a TEN at least
It will be my time to shine!
But the gremlins have been busy
There’s a mistake in every line
They rearranged my masterpiece
Those dirty little swine!
copyright2009 Beatrice Boyle
(All rights reserved)
About an hour later she slipped
Yuri Andropov into the conversation:
*“I have to drop off a blouse at the dry cleaners.”*
Suddenly it was May Day &
I’m back in Red Square,
Dwarfed beneath larger than life
Lenin, Engels & Marx mug shots.
Inter-continental ballistic lorry loads
Roll past the reviewing stand, while
Geezer Reds in Ushanka fur hats,
Soused on *Stoli,* reeking of borscht,
Chain-smoke cheap Soviet Belomors.
I share these thoughts, handing
Mrs. Khrushchev the car keys.
Having cowered herself in terror,
Having ducked & covered many
Burial promises & shoe-pound threats,
She gives me a tired babushka smirk.
We are conjugal Cold Warriors,
Both weary now, creeping up on 70,
Skirmishes & brinksmanship behind us.
Tolerant of each other at last;
Lukewarm *détente* between us.
Gremlins, gnomes, a leprechaun and thee imps
Walked into a bar owned by some chimps
Ate too many chips
Weight went to their hips
They rolled out later, looking like blimps
I love the world of gremlins and fairies
But I must watch out for dragons, they're scary
They eat human beings
At a rate unforeseen
I'm even losing control of my tract urinary
The gremlins are crawling, and pixies are waiting.
Waiting for you to just casually walk by.
They play on your mind, and taint any light.
The light which is flashing and spinning inside.
Inside of your mind; where the liquid is flowing.
Flowing fast and spinning inside; spinning the colors that lay on your eyes.
Images burning and turning your brain,
quickly to go yet to always remain.
In this brain that's seen wonders of color confusion.
The mind which makes fiction a fact of today.
Gremlins live in my house and we are fine with it most days
They bring cheer and joy to us in subtle elfish ways.
They are well hidden in woodwork crevices and caches.
But sometimes they get too mischievous and move our glasses
Which bothers me little since I have forty pair.
They seem to disappear every other Tuesday in thin air.
Mine are polka dot and flowered and from the dollar store.
Also striped, leopard and plaid, diverse colors galore.
My husband thinks the gremlins are totally unfair,
His glasses, prescription, cost much more than my forty pair.
Hear that giggling coming from the air vent in the hall?
They are my darling sneaky fun-loving gremlins small.
Gobbledegook's all in my joints,
the corners of my eyes, it seems.
And when I first get out of bed,
I hear the not-so-silent screams.
The gremlins and the goblins play
when eyes are closed in dead of night,
but when dawn breaks to start the day,
they scurry off, back out of sight.
I have to reach down for my toes,
then stretch and try to touch the sky.
The little g’s do not like those;
they head off for some other guy.
I guess it is the price I have to play;
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
----------
H/T to Jack Ellison's Gobbledegook
grimy gremlins gathered in a gloomy glade
giggling guzzling grapeade they’d greedily made
with gadgets gone wild
and gizmos defiled
they gambled on games with tricks they’d displayed
Gremlins, that’s what the technician said…
Faulty technology is what I dread!
Glitches untold are hidden by moguls’ gold.
But they should correct what the masses are sold.
What would it take?
What could we make?
In a day, in an hour,
Working with reliable power…
As more work goes online,
We’re told all will be fine.
But the internet’s down.
And the gremlins think I’m a clown.
With plenty of time
To ponder a rhyme.
Then at the end of the day,
All the gremlins will say,
“Oh, what a thrill we have had…
Sorry! Our bad…”
Gremlins are in my tooth today
Chipping it out causing decay.
The ache is getting much more worse
My bottom tooth hurts where they lurk.
Can hear those critters laugh and play
Jaw and neck aches more everyday.
Strong painkillers don't help ease it away
The gremlins deeper digging is well under way.
They channel a tunnel toward the root
These tiny things are merciless brutes.
The gremlin grim fairy waits nearby
I'm on the verge of wanting to cry.
The gremlins spread their infectious rot
Taking over with their uninvited squat.
A visit to the dentist is my only hope
If it goes on much longer I shan't cope.
Sitting back in his chair he shines a light
They screamed I swear, it serves them right.
Antibiotics is the first course of action
And told I won't need a tooth extraction.
I am relieved and happy, maybe a little smug
I can beat these gremlins teeth robbing bugs.
Drilling and a filling was done a week later
I'm grateful and thankful to my tooth saving saviour.
20.10.23
I love the world of gremlins and fairies
But I must watch out for dragons, they're scary
They eat human beings
At a rate unforeseen
Been losing control of my tract urinary