Best Fortune Cookie Poems
Don't rip your heart open too deep
(All they'll see are the valves and the veins)
Don't puke out your guts in one heap
(All they'll smell is the rotten Chow Mein)
Footnote: I decided to enter this as my worst poem because it really stinks and makes me want to throw up...
I know someone who jots down short poetry.
Now she puts what she writes inside a fortune cookie.
I ate a fortune cookie with the paper in it
I am pretty sure that the fortune
will come through
The Fortune Cookie
By Rick Rucker
On the way home last night,
I thought that I would grab a bite,
Instead of the food I usually eat,
I thought that Chinese would be a treat,
There were things on the net to find out about,
So, I decided to get the food to take out,
After a short wait,
I was carrying the food, not very late,
The drive was fairly short,
But the aroma of food made me starve, I can report!
I devoured the food in what seemed a minute,
Everything in the bag, leaving nothing in it,
Oh, wait, is there something more,
Did I drop it on the floor?
A small package, I did not see at first,
In my hunger, and my thirst,
I had eaten in great haste,
But still wanted another taste,
I was mildly disappointed to find,
It was not food for the stomach, but for the mind,
A fortune cookie, on the floor,
A fortune cookie, nothing more,
Normally, I might have thrown it away,
Feeling that reading it was merely play,
The reason that I hurried home,
I had been reading in a tome,
I had been reading about an investment that I made some time ago,
Its maturation had been very slow,
It’s going to be a wondrous event,
After all the months that I have spent,
Reading every financial note that I could find,
Other than Love, nothing else occupies my mind!
When this event comes to pass,
I will be in a position to marry my fair lass,
My finances, a disaster,
My money worries, I have not been able to master!
When this comes to fruition,
I will no longer regret not paying tuition,
To a prestigious school,
I will be the World’s most lucky fool!
Opening the cookie package now,
I use my teeth to open it somehow,
I crush the cookie, I could not wait,
The message reads, “Success and wealth will be your fate.”
In random fortunes, you may not put much stock,
To me, this was quite a shock!
If true, I will be fulfilled,
My financial anxiety, will be killed!
So, I pray every night,
That the fellow, who did, that fortune write,
That message just for me,
Knowing that it would give me unbounded glee!
I'm breaking it open to take a lookee.
What does it say inside my fortune cookie?
losing dire hope
about the fire in your horoscope
walking a tight rope
working hard not to be broke
but what they pay you
is a bad head squeezing joke
but don't lose hope
don't drop the soap
maybe do a little dope
and definitely don't
hang yourself with a rope
use rhyme to entertain
the mental health scope
casual like
wearing a transparent robe
traversing the literary globe
the path where your destiny unfolds
paved in glittering gold
and you don't even have to kiss a toad
Tonight my sweetheart shook his head
As fortune cookie note was read
A baffled look; his countenance
"How do I take this? Makes no sense!"
He read it out to understand, that little
slip held in his hand...
"You're as intelligent as you're good looking..."
He paused a second, I could tell that
phrase was really cooking
Then glibly, in his satire, he gave that
slip a flip
He rephrased the cookie's fortune,
A misfortune quip...
"That could mean I'm ugly,
As Ugly as I'm dumb!"
He threw the cookie in the trash
And swept away the crumbs
I found the slip of paper
That message was quite grand
I'm thinking he's the smartest guy
In all the blessed Land!
And so the little fortune
Has grasped me in an awe
To me, he is the handsomest
Dear man, I ever saw!
A Boring Day at the Fortune Cookie Factory
By Elton Camp
Wei Lee had been inserting inane messages all day
“Things are to go very well,” they often would say
But one main thing ultimately got him into a rage
He got really fed up being paid sweat shop wage
Finally, he grew to detest those rich folks eating cat
And decided that he would do something about that
“What would happen,” Wei Lee did grin & suppose
“If some new type of message I should compose?”
He gleefully imagined some American turning pale
If he were to write, “You will soon be placed in jail.”
Wei thought of what other messages he might do
“Unlike friend Russia, China will really bury you.”
Then he figured out one that real panic would create
Since the reader, he knew, Chinese food had just ate
“You have just eaten poison” is the note he wrote
While imagining some capitalist clutching his throat
imprints of a rose
still on yesterday's wine glass
her ruby red lips
Expectations are like dolphins
Singing gleefully through the waves.
Life's lottery calls your number
As you wait there by the bay.
Purple sunset's majesty
Speaks of a celebration soon to come.
Believing's half the battle
When the paper says you've won.
Sunday evening, suburban New York,
we ate at the corner Chinese restaurant,
its fish tank hypnotic, the smiling
welcome from the Chinese woman
caressing menus to her chest,
who led us to the booth which stuck
to my legs as I slid across to my
designated spot. Dad promised
me a fortune cookie on the way out,
which I took from the bowl by the door.
We ate spareribs, licked our fingers
and laughed, trying to pick kennels of rice
and long noodles with splintered
chopsticks. We praised the food,
but wondered why we often left hungry
for both food and fortune, after extracting
mine from the smashed cookie, reading then
putting the crumbled paper in my pocket,
to be found weeks later, hoping somehow
the words would have changed
and the little paper whispered
truths about my own future,
rather than just giving dad the
numbers for his weekly lottery.
The fortune cookie with it's lovely shape
the fortune cookie I think smells great.
I don't like to eat them though it's the
fortune inside I like the most and, the
last one I got said it best,
"I show you doubt to prove that faith exist"
Not quite a fortune but, a
message from that man,
that God of ours isn't he grand?
That was his answer to the questions
I had been asking, his sense of humor
keeps me laughing.
sterile dough kneaded
crisped dreams coated with sugar
manufactured hope
Just a little note to say
We had Chinese for a day
I opened a Fortune Cookie
Just for Princess the rookie
It said the worst part of your life is behind you.....
Today I opened another for her..
Words spoken in kindness brings friendship...
I opened one for me:
Most people go through the school of hard knocks
And immediately enroll once again...
Because she likes mystery and wants to imagine her own story before the world
rudely interrupts
And as the cookie crumbles the world rumbles its forceful future among her frail dreams
So she leaves everything as is so her dreams are able to live
The mind is only as strong as the cracks from time
p.s. so crack the cookie to see your fortune…