Best Exam Poems
Here's egg in your face,
friend
Go cry in your beer,
dear
Time to clear out of here,
quee---
Oops!
EXAM MALPRACTICE
We are no saints, we haven't got holiness
Yet our steps can be retraced
Everyone there where he lacks
For we're all for one and one for all
Many have been asked; they answered
Many have asked; they were answered
But if you've never been asked
And if you've never asked
Such that you never answered
And you were never answered
Haven't you ever been silent
When you should have admonished
Pal, lets devest our honour this innuendo
For by either action or inaction
We all have some sorry to say for exam malpractices
You can; I can; we can!
We will sit at the tables in the entrance hall
Waiting patiently for the sea of white faces to arrive
Anxious, nerves are frayed – and that’s just the staff!
Waiting to pass over that all-important piece of paper
These grades will change their lives forever
And dictate which path in life they choose
There will be tears of joy and whoops and cheers
Sadness too when the grades show their deepest fears
Tissues and chocolate biscuits and lots of support
Wipe away the tears and slowly bring them down to earth
Try and get them into university even if its not their first choice
A day of massive highs and crashing lows
But I wouldn’t miss it for the world
Jan Allison
13th August 2014
Before the "I do" she must choose
A man that does well in dance shoes
His psyche gives a clue
When employing step two
Ply him to the limit with booze
I want to pull my hair out and scream
why does school have to be so mean...
Packets upon packets thrown in my face
I wish my mother would get off my case.
It doesn't matter if there's A's or B's
Those aren't as important as my non-existent degree!
Why must I have so much to do,
I wish I could sue!
I'm running around everywhere and cramming
My throat and mind are clamming.
I was always so prepared in the past
But now I feel like I'm dead last!
My mind is blank and can't process a thing
It's almost as slow as my laptop ping!
Wish me luck
Because this is going to suck.
People not knowing fidget, look around the room knocking the table as they cradle their heads.
People knowing frantically write their thoughts, feet planted, eyes crossed with creases as information is translated from the calculator to their sheet.
Elbows, forearms planted on the desk occasionally, unconsciously scratching ears.
Cutting the air is a cough, a sniff, a paper being flicked, people moving in chairs.
The walls don’t stop the echo of the teacher next door, muffled voices of people.
Pens down. Slap! The pencil hits the table, the race has finished, who won.
I'm happy as poop, got the results of my brain scan
They had a hard time finding it when the scanner began
It sputtered and screeched
Till my bum it did reach
Out of place but 'twas an “all's well that ENDs well” exam
© Jack Ellison 2015
A doctor was checking a prostate.
When all of a sudden a noise made.
It sounded like a zipper,
The guy gave him a flipper.
Jumped up and demanded a rebate!!!
Ding dong!
the warning bell
'only ten minutes left'
invigilator announces
so many problems are yet to be solved
passing remains a dream again
let me write a poem
before the next
ding dong.
****************************
Placement:5th ; (June 2012)
By:kash poet
Contest:Sound of Emotion
Sponsor:Nette Onclaud
Date:30th May 2012
"How easy this maths exam will be,
How simple the maths to be done?"
You understood exactly what the teacher had taught,
Had taught before the test had begun.
On the board it was: ten plus two is…
And then, what’s ten minus four.
On the board it was easy to see how it was solved,
But that was prior, preceding, before
Seeing the test needing a million computations,
Written in some bizarre scripted form,
The test asking to figure something like:
Calculate the mass of last nights thunderstorm.
Then: “What? Huh? Oh man, I’m in trouble,
Does it matter if every answer is guessed?”
The “I had no idea of any of that”,
Finishes with, "That was an easy maths test?”
A constant murmur,
with bickering voices
and occasional shriek of glee.
All when I'm trying to revise,
down in the library.
[written in 1988 - do they still have libraries in universities?]
Analyze my eyes Mr.Optometrist
Tell me what you see ,
Read them better than how they read the letters on the wall
Believe everything you read ,
For they don't lack honesty
Like the mouth and its master.
Learn my deepest secrets
Then feed my curiousity so it will leave me alone
And if by any chance you see my soul through those windows
Describe him just as he is, I forgot a long time ago.
The Exam
Holding a pen sweat running down
my cheeks
The piece of paper in front of me
looking like hieroglyphs
Stressed by my empty mind
I hear whispers behind
Time running out I look at the girl
sitting next to me
Under the illusion that she's in
control of her life
Religion tells us that that late nights
and books cant change what was
meant to be
But she looks different from the
little girl I saw four years back
She's now a lady soldier trying to
survive in a male world
Thirty minutes left says a guy in a
black suit
With his masters degree acting like
he never sat in the same seat
Too pompous to see that we are all
historians
Following the whiteman's feet,
reading books written by Indians
I would rather be a slave and be
sold for a drink
Than be a free-man and be told
what to think
What good is a piece of paper in a
world where opportunity is not
guaranteed anymore?
In a world where billionaires are
college drop-outs
The few that decided to break their
shells and think differently
A normal education is for normal
men
I'm not lazy but I prefer different
types of work
.................... Exam.............
K beete khusio k wo pl, abhi scheme mili h kl...
Gya h sukh chaen sb chin, ye kaisa jhaam aya h...
Palat kr khushiyo ka prda suar exam aya h...
Palat kr pustake dekhi, maine sir ko peeta...
Kha se cos k formule me aya ye sin theta...
K socha tha 11th me krunga english me kuch best...
Mgr salo ne phir thma di hme Shakespeare ki tempest....
Ek to phle hi nhi kr pate the hm numerical k solution....
Paper me aya kro vector ka resolution...
Chemistey me to jaise phla akshar bhi nhi ata...
Hme bs periodic table hi anmol lgta h..
Sigma pie ka to sala apas me kuch jhol lgta h....
Hindi ki to bat bhaiya bs nirali h....
Rachna se jyada zaroori rachaita ki jeevan paranali h...
Hmne socha tha isse to kmse km acche percentage bnne h...
Or ye khte h k hr prashn me kmse km bhrne char panne h...
Hmari sochne ki shakti se ab ye lgta h...
K exam me lgbhg ab ek hafta h...
To ab apni hr pareshani ko hm yhi dabate h..
Bye bye ab hm bhi padhne jate h...
###please comment after reading the poem.. ###
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Exam blues
Midnight oil was burnt,
Entire syllabus well learnt,
In exam hall I went blank,
Looked around as a prank,
My friends had to bear the brunt!
Written May 26th, 2015
Dedicated to all students taking exams
© Dr. Upma A. Sharma