Best Erm Poems

Too little 
too late
God said to me 
in this dream I had about fate

So I asked him 
what did he expect, 
A goody two shoes 
a prophet 
a saint 
to be something I ain’t 

Not at all he said 
I want to be entertained 
Eternity...

Continue reading...

This is my story about Menudo, and not the boy band Menudo
Mexican Menudo soup, known as the breakfast of champions
It’s what borracho’s, and Ricky Martin and all el mundo saludo
Chili mix, cilantro and lemon or lime, oregano, served in ramekins
A hearty feel good spicy tripe...

Continue reading...

Should we give thanks and praise?  
My dog doesn’t think so
He licks my hand when hungry
only to fall asleep when fed
Barks to go outside 
and do his…. business 
mostly when I’m in bed 
Anyway I don’t care
I’m human, and don’t need 
thanks from a...

Continue reading...

To the gallant ‘remain’ I direct this refrain; to the hearts and great souls I see there; and maintain.
That we are not so much different that not all is estranged;
We both yearn betterment in so much we are same!
I hate not my neighbour; I hate...

Continue reading...

Look little girl
It's not what it looks like
It's really, really not
I came for a picnic with the orphanage
And the food I simply forgot

Look little girl
Don't get all upset
Don't get yourself in a state
I am sure all the others
Won't mind if they donate

Look little girl
It's the...

Continue reading...

Kidnapped. - for Peeking Through The Keyhole Contest

The hole where the key’s meant to go
Was vacant so I had to know
What was outside to be seen
But my captors weren’t all that keen

It seems I succumbed to a cosh
Cos someone was after some dosh
Nobody heard when...

Continue reading...

Watching a film I see a face I recognise
But cannot remember his name, which is no surprise.
I ask my wife ‘hey who is this guy, what’s his name?
Before we both go back and forth, playing this peculiar game.

‘It’s erm, what’s his face, he was in...

Continue reading...

Erm, excuse me, erm
I-I would, I was thinking
that, m-maybe, we......

Continue reading...

I walk in the door, 
my dog is looking at me wagging his tail,
sniffing around my shopping bags, 
He has that suspicious perplexed look on his face, 
Oh I’ve seen it many times before 

I know what he’s thinking, 
how the hell I can come...

Continue reading...

Christmas is all over for yet another year,
The house is a mess with so many toys in a gigantic heap on the floor.
You've overdosed on chocolate, spirits, wine and beer,
You've ate so much veg and sprouts that you're farting more than you ever have before....

Continue reading...

kings like when their subjects don’t want change, but gods erm ~ just change the subject


By 
David Kavanagh...

Continue reading...

of people are good ~ the minority are  erm  the minority...

Continue reading...

So you’re an alien 
Well look at you!
What the hell took you so long to get…..
Stupid question!
Don’t answer that 

I mean where on Earth did you come from,
erm….. 
Another dumb question!
Forgive me

I’m just a bit nervous 
It’s my first time to interview a fully legit...

Continue reading...

Trust In God-An Acrostic 


Term fellowships grant undoubting reverence
Rational credences distrust, mistrust
Unconditional credences reverence
Superstitious credences discharge, in God we trust
Tentative guesses become align with His Kingdom


Infidelities serve belief in forgiveness
New credences guess, in God we trust


Gross infidelities swear God already forgiven 
Obvious merits deserve grace...

Continue reading...

Anxiety stands on the shoulder of anxiety, on the shoulder of anxiety
on the shoulder of…….
wash my hands
wipe that door handle
scrub that work top
spray, wipe, wash
wipe, wash, spray
wash, spray wipe
repeat
repeat
repeat
repeat ….
busy high street

heart racing
thoughts trying to catch up
 
a few obeying the rules
others with no face...

Continue reading...