Best Dishwasher Poems

I'm an Ultra Quiet with a whir
Frigidaire 24” Built-In White Dishwasher
Energy saver 
With hot and cold stir
Oh yes they do make a dishwasher

I’m getting so old they just don't know
They think I can do the job like a pro
Baskets are crumbling
Rust on everything
I'm ready to...

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Once there was a dishwasher leak
That went on and on for a week
It flooded the clean floor 
Sorrow ran in the door
The situation looked so bleak 

The pit bull bit the wife when she hand fed
Naughty devil in disguise watched as she bled
Now the ...

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In my small kitchen she sits
Simple and plain
My mechanical maid
Who never complains
Who takes cups and plates laid
On her long arms with ease
And returns every one
Scrubbed clean of grease

Because I am NOT at the sink, wrists plunged in grime
I have precious time - and peace of...

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I am here behind a closed door
Looking clean and gleaming
Oh my what is that smell I just got a whiff
smells like curry hope I am dreaming

They won't knock of the excess from the plate
The rice gets in my tubes and makes me hick up
The smell...

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I really love the dishwasher
And so does Mum and Dad!
We filled it after every meal,
Until one day I heard a squeal!
Water had poured all over the floor
But hadn’t made it under the door!
Until the appliance was in the pink
Dishes were washed in the sink.
That really...

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Melted butter
Missed crumbs of toast 
Blue-ribbon cooking 
In dishwasher catacombs
Remnants of delicious memories...

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I have an Ultra Quiet with a whir.
Frigidaire 24" Built-In White Dishwasher,
Energy saver, with hot and cold stir.
For a while it did purr.
Oh yes, they do make a dishwasher.
Naïve people believe what labels sell.
I use a lemon scent liquid gel
Those states; "No" pre-washing,
Leaves dishes sparkling.
All...

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Ting-ting
The forks
are put to bed...

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As the weather chooses its flavour for the hour,
Stubble-ended wood shaves itself on the layers of unseen ground.
Synthetic puke seeps through pores seeking to devour
Every tiny, curled hair floating in the murk around and around.

Pool party skies reside a millimeter higher than the tallest fingertip:
Leftovers...

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Tom the Dishwasher
Hand wash each time
Place in drainboard,
Always forget the gloves,
Hands get greasy, yuck, slime!
Drainboard sits on my
Electric dishwasher,
Used once in two years,
Just what is packed,
Between my ears?

Maybe cause the paper plates
and plastic utensils
Didn't fare so well,
Oh, you know how weird
Is Tom Bell

Should'a put a...

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The dishwasher watches, waits confounded
as knuckles redden and waterlogged fingers
scrub and rub in a slick soapy dance.
Later I will explain to the machine
that it was made by atheists to replace prayer.
Meanwhile bubbles pop their silent hallelujahs.
Hands toil at their holy work....

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I'm slowly evaporating from this verbal tennis match 
For some reason we continue to give breath to these vapor windy circles
Brewing a coffee tornado that is going to spill all over my shirt
And they say don't cry over spilled milk, but there's a river of...

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I was dancing and prancing 
And singing whooped Dee Dee
Not realizing I was not alone
Until he opened his shirt to me

He threw out the mayo, some jam and some jelly, a real hoot.
I caught the chocolate milk in midair, he was dancing up a toot.
He...

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