Best Constipation Poems

Less than twenty-four hours after dashing off a poem 
   explaining why i wanted to die
found me experiencing physical duress vis a vis, 
   a bowel movement wherein waste unable to expel 
   from the anus of this guy
which...

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It was constipation, you know
                      All of the bananas she ate were alarming 
Then a bit of cheese, brought her to her knees
 ...

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Between You and I,
What's going on?
torn stitches,
Girl!
Smiles of diabolical impression,
brutally appealing,
gestures of charismatic sweet melodies,
best described: very dangerous indeed,
on this brown wooden bed,
over the same bloated pillow we sleep madly in love,
within the blanket of velvet furs and moonshadow,
the nightsky so dark,
seeing everything,
yet we feel...

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Without any hesitation
I must reach my destination
I don't have an explanation
No time for conversation

I'll need all my concentration
As I plan my evacuation
With just a minor complication
I'm in need of medication

I'll need all my dedication
To ignore this aggravation
But out of desperation
And hours of deprivation 

I come...

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On our first serious date; he grew excited
and I was primed to knock my guy off his feet.
Spending hours on the right dress, all horrid
Till a feathery wardrobe popped from the closet.

Yes! This dress will hit the roof…top-rated;
lined with plumes from neck down mid-thighs.
Upstairs, my...

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A professor has published his thesis
On removal of impacted faeces
Use the end of a pencil
Or a kitchen utensil
to dislodge clumps of faeces in pieces!

Told you it was a crap poem!

05/14/20...

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Constipation!
Such consternation
A work in progress
So much left unsaid…
Fragments of angst
Long standing wiles
With nothing but cold tiles

But when it works
All progress is swift
Everything said, comprehension is clear
Tension is freed and
All qualms ignored
Bodily function is restored
Lambs flinging about in joy
Hallelujah!



22 Nov. 2014...

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Constipation is an extremely shitty word
I don't usually use it, I usually use turd
Must keep it sophisticated
Some might be listening
To this conversation besides the P-Soup herd...

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less than twenty four hours after dashing off a poem 
   explaining why i wanted to die
found me experiencing physical duress vis a vis, 
   a bowel movement wherein waste unable to expel 

   from the anus of this...

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An alter in an altercation? No. That is merely the result of a lemon fruited display of a quite fruity pie. Or could it be an orbital orange? Or lake of lime? In time digestions of peas is quite charismatic when absorbed with the milk...

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have you seen the new movie 
Constipation - yet?
of course not, it's not out yet 

Contest No 470 
Sponsored By Brian Strand
7-23-2018...

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I'm on a roll, no stopping me now
It would give me a hernia, holy c-c-cow
Stuff would seize up
My butt would slam shut
Poetic constipation it would surely fall-ow...

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Prolonged offal bout courtesy constipation... turgid song redux,
a worse hellish fate than perdition really sucks

As of early morning
today - September 8th, 2022,
I could not but barely move
mine whole body felt
analogous to sluggish mollusk
frequent constipation found me
doubled over in gastrointestinal agony
as if elephant stomping on tummy
or...

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How can the possible death of the planet not be a concern 
to Conservatives claiming that they’re conservationists,
party of Lincoln (who died in pursuit of the freedom of slaves)
now claims racists and rabble who honor Confederate
flag and raise statues to traitors who tried to divide...

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Pregnancy is constipation
enjoyable and admirable 
monopolized by women
never sharing by men
no bribery to get one
a cool sickness it is
no bacterial infection
In nine months of constipation
victim replicates happily
own piece of wriggling flesh
and the constipation vanishes

Constipation comes with choice
but can be imposed as well!
eating through test-tube it...

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