Best Clenched Poems
How many times have I been,
or perceived to have been,
the victim of cruelty or injustice,
which I tolerated,
as I felt it was necessary to survive
or, if not to survive,
to maintain a minimum standard of living -
as a child,
as a sick person,
as a subordinate in a corporation?
How did it make me feel?
Angry.
How did it work out when I expressed my anger?
Poorly.
Hence, much of my life was lived
through a clenched jaw.
Which doesn't seem pleasant.
Is there another way?
Philosophy?
Religion?
Forgiveness?
Acceptance?
Reassessing when I must compromise?
Learning a new way to communicate -
civil, yet uncompromising?
I wonder.
I wake into a tornado:
Lights suddenly blaze through my eyelids.
The air buzzes and hums;
The distant din of clamor
Still imperceptible through the haze
That fogs my mind.
A voice, and loud, gives a gruff command.
The iron in it still shakes me awake,
Even after 18 years.
The bus lurches forward, all eyes lowered
As I move down the cramped aisle.
I look Richie Davis right in his face,
But he won't meet my challenging gaze.
A wolf-grin spreads from ear-to-ear
Much like the feeling of hot-cocoa warming
From the inside out on a frigid day.
Like lambs, they cower.
Between the places where I go
To get lectured at, I spin through crowds
And move through the throngs like a king
Through his subject.
That is, until one tiny freshmen
Stumbles across my path.
Without thinking, he's off his feet.
Shock and fear written across his face
Like a line straight from a poem.
I drink up his reaction like
An alcoholic skeleton; no sip is ever enough.
Beyond this institution's walls
There's only one other home.
Within its walls echo angry shouts, and
The vision in my head crescendos.
The kid in my clenched hands wears my face:
I'm only doing what I know.
So why does the pain inside only grow
When they say all I am is mean?
crouched in the corner
her head is covered
face blood smothered
when the bruises fade
their replaced with another
she looks in the mirror
with makeup she covers
drops to her knees
hangs her head and she cries
each day that passes, another piece of her dies
he sees her crying and calls her weak
hits her hard, he's upped the tweak
she hears the screams of her 5 year old son
"daddy daddy stop! stop hitting mum"!
but he doesn't listen it only fuels his rage
so he hits her again like a dog in a cage
her eyes are swollen
her nose is broken
she prays to God to give her a token
a token of courage, for strength to walk away
life is a burden she now faces every day
fear is his partner, they now own her soul
he has stolen her spirit, her life he controls
clumps of her hair lay scattered on the floor
she cant breathe, she cant fight anymore
her broken bones they hurt
blood stains on her shirt
his taunts and nasty words scarred in her mind
how could love ever have been so blind?
once a strong woman now broken and numb
she now looks at the woman he has made her become
and so all the love she gave
slowly fades away
she's gotta say goodbye
before she dies inside
all the love she gave
now replaced with hate
her scars are torn apart
just like her broken heart
she looks at her son, sees the tears in his eyes
and comforts her boy, then together they cry
Growing up in purest innocence
Greeted as a friend
Groomed with a fine tooth comb
Grabbed unexpectedly
Groped involuntarily
Grouping parts of self
Gripping deeper fears
Grinding self image
Gritting teeth
Gryping of opportunity lost
Grifting gratification
Grappling with truth
Grieving childhood missed
Gripping reality loosely
Grousing silently
Graduating in faith
Grinning of small hopes
Granting mercy
Graced with love
Jaw Relaxes
9/17/17
Clenched Hands
UNCLE
Exhaustion has set in.
What is the problem?
Is winning not enough for you?
Please...
I can beg and I can plead
I give up!
Now...the faint smell of incense?
Now in my weakened state
you choose to help?
My hair falls from clenched hands.
I kneel at your feet.
Is kissing them not enough for you?
Was your goal my tears?
Need they streak my face?
Must everyone see?
Must that be done
before you lift and carry me
to our next destination
MY Father, my God?
A clenched fist rose in the air filled with chants and gun smoke
All across Africa we marched and our spirits never broke
The power of fingers clenched in a fist cracked walls of discrimination
Then oil unclenched the fingers and we started to point and make accusations
When the fingers dried, we clenched our fists again, clinched our teeth but turned on each other
The rubble of apartheid walls became missiles as brother rose against brother
We fractured our bones, our fingers became too weak to point at our shame
What will the fractured bones of clenched fist now proclaim?
See, faced with no one,
yet in my mind I see him everywhere.
The best thing for me;
do not name it,
stitch my mouth,
say nothing.
But silence is never nothing.
Silence is the loudest thing he gives me.
What seizes the eye at once
makes the heart beat between lines.
Utmost, inexplicable, perpetual stimulation.
Now the wind blows mournfully,
and I let it.
Naturally, flagrantly, palpably,
replaying each line,
bona fide, constantly, truthfully, carefully.
Beating through language,
an ache written sideways,
pain grammar cannot hold.
Devil-may-care.
On the edge of a single smile,
he walks through my thoughts.
Every gesture is an answer.
Every lack of gesture is an answer.
I build whole futures
out of unfinished sentences.
Between my wanting
and his unknowing,
through life's clenched jaw,
I cling to the unrequited knowledge
of reciprocity.
She loves to shake her right hand about,
Hiding her left in a fist,
Hiding her real self away in a clench,
While waving her false from her wrist,
You see, she wants us to think she’s the happiest girl,
Full of fun and a life with a kiss,
That she has the best things and does the most stuff,
That she is the happiest Miss,
But, clenched tight away, hidden in her left,
Is her reality she hides from us all,
The reality of herself not able to cope,
In her mind she feels boring and small,
So, I open her hand and look into her eyes and say,
“Your YOU is a perfect for me,
I love you for you, not the pretend in a dress,
I love when you’re honest and free”.
His plaintive cry pierced the air
pleading to travel somewhere
Sympathizers marched in a faraway square
their fists clenched in slogans
As he bled to death slowly
~ in the presence of no one
feeble flesh feigned
rusty reels' reign
hoity hankers bled
porous pruning led
furious feast fetched
blind blitzkrieg belched
gaunt gifts gored
punctured pills pored
nocturnal nature bored
taunted trees moaned
callous crest cloned
damping drooling drone
eerie ends etched
callous catastrophe clenched.
'20:04:06:20:38
Note: Of wanky war.
teeth grind silently
in jaw's prison for sorrows
anger pressed to bone-
forgiveness waits at the gate
suppressed until victory
clenched lips hide the cry
parry what loud eyes don't see
masking every wound-
rage silenced by the anger
etched in muscle, bone, and brow
knuckles white, jaws locked
displays the relentless fight
in hate's epitaph-
yet while clenched, a jaw can't shout
a clenched fist can't grab a sword
the choice lies within—
clench until the fire is spent
or loosen the hold
to free the mouth to declare
the path to revolution
If I can’t climb the mountain,
I will find a way around;
what matters is reaching the place
destiny has mapped before me.
If wrestling shadows is required,
I will fight them to succeed;
for in the book of life,
each page must turn with time,
its wisdom carefully absorbed
before the next is revealed.
As though life resents our existence,
it serves difficulties as daily bread.
To drink from the cup of victory,
forged in the furnace of success,
one must grow small as a camel
passing through the needle’s eye.
Success lies hidden in life’s belly;
one must pry open its clenched jaw,
wrest the sweetness it has swallowed,
before the songs of triumph are sung.
Though life’s teeth are igneous stone,
I will seize the molten magma,
shape it before it hardens,
and rise, crowned in blazing triumph.
I have walked the hallways
where minutes gnash like teeth,
each second a pebble pressed
into the jaw of memory.
The air tastes of iron--
memory’s rust,
old prayers swallowed
before they ever touched the light
Yet still - I carry my candle
into the jaw’s dark cavern,
its flame a soft rebellion
against the grindstone silence.
Soft laughter rests in the cracks,
like seeds grabbed
into the frozen earth,
waiting for the frost to release them,
for spring to rise
from winter’s quiet.
I move onward,
not a hostage,
but marrow unbroken,
a hymn rising
through bone and enamel,
singing until the jaw
yields to the light.
The journey through life can be hard,
it is a real struggle at times;
leading to stress, anxiety and anger,
frustration in completing daily tasks.
Held in strong clenched jaws,
it causes me strain in my life;
like a prisoner in heavy chains,
with a strong grip hard to escape.
Is it because my expectations are so grand,
is it because I am weak ?
I feel a huge fire burning within me,
and I have a warriors heart;
yes, I can release myself from the jaws,
but it will take a lot of determination.
My jaw with be held strong,
confidence, I will feed daily;
Will get plenty of sleep at night,
I will eat healthy at all my meals.
And will lower my expectations in life,
will just be me, myself and I !
Our proximity came with my age
And I only saw your later chapters,
though I saw myself in you.
Not unlike myself with ambition,
Homely peers and shouting,
The weight you did accrue.
Your aims changed a while ago,
And I added them to my own,
I saw your smile tighten,
But I let my feelings stew.
Fancy chains of gold, white veiled capture,
And, yes, I hate your captor,
Sceptical of this new chapter,
and the baby cradle too.
As of now your hands have turned to hitting,
Smiles inclined to swearing,
Your son is only one now,
And our similarities are already true?
As I try to slumber now the stature cracks,
The bringer of tears strikes again,
And I struggle to identify who.
I’ve looked up for the longest time,
And I gaze into you now that I’ve grew.
The truth I’ve come to grips with now,
I don’t want to be you.