Best Cleaner Poems
Window cleaning is my trade and I want to tell my story
Like the time I saw the Vicars wife in the bath in all her glory
Or when I saw the Vicar tied up, I thought there'd been a slaying
I called the police but it turned out, t'was a game that they were playing.
And Mrs Smith from two doors down, well she is kind of hot
Always leaves big gaps in her drapes just to show me what she's got
Next door to her a stripper lives, well she just doesn't care
She walks around as I try to clean and yes she's totally bare.
Then across from her a nymphomaniac lives, she's always wanting more
Whenever I call to clean her glass there's men queueing at her door
I always cringe when I knock her door to ask her for my money
She always offers payment in flesh; winks and calls me honey.
Next door to her is 'Dirty Pete' watches movies all day long
Not Hollywood films you understand but titles like King Dong
Well I'm no prude each to his own but quadrophonic sound!
The first time that he blasted it, I fell off my ladder to the ground.
Round the corner is Jim and Sue, she always calls me handsome
I heard it from the man next door they want me for a threesome
Well maybe to some weirdy folk, it is their fantasy
Not my thing I assure you 'cos she is eighty three.
The sorority house I'd leave till last ' cos I found it hard to cope
They always leave the windows ajar to let out the fumes of dope
Then the world around me, would turn colourful and bright
My eyes would see some very strange things and I'd fly high as a kite.
See that's what I have to endure, to make an honest living
I never tell my wife you know, she'd be so unforgiving
When I get home she always asks, "Darling how was your day?"
I tell her each time same old same old, but it helps me pay my way.
Written on the 8th November 2020
Categories:
cleaner, funeral, funny, humor, nursery
Form:
Rhyme
They call her big Gina
You'd know if you seen her
She is a toilet cleaner
She wears a white smock
Armed with bucket and a mop
She likes to keep things clean
And is a real scrubber
If you know what I mean
She whistles as she goes
With disinfectant wafting under her nose
She replaces toilet rolls
And cleans the toilet bowls
She really loves her job
She has a cat called Doris
And a husband called Bob
Her job is dirty and often smelly
She has a tattoo of a toilet on her belly
At the end of the day
She puts her mop and bucket away
Goes home and has a shower
Then cleans the house within half an hour
Her husband makes her mad
Leaving the toilet seat up
She puts toilet water in his cup
Of tea to sup
She has a daughter called Pru
She dreams of being a toilet cleaner too
She doesn't care about the smell of poo
Just her dream comes true
We should all appreciate toilet cleaners
Just like big Gina.
''Warning! Toilet water in tea. please do not try at home.
could be dangerous and doesn't taste nice''.
Peter Dome.copyright.2014. Aug.
Categories:
cleaner, fun, funny, humor, humorous,
Form:
Free verse
Where the Cleaner Never Passes Through the Door
Locked safely in a corner of my mind
Where the cleaner never passes through the door
A room I enter now and then to find
A thought that will, my innocence restore
Not a cobweb or a speck of dust
No disorder where the records lay
All appears as though I just
Closed that little door the other day
I take my time to browse the shelves
As they from slumber slowly wake
Then each in turn present themselves
In always pleasing forms they take
In never ending streams they pour
Onward to the party held
To celebrate they came before
That age of innocence was felled
Dancing still as they did then
Faultless in their ignorance
Laughing as they will again
Till I have run the full distance
Categories:
cleaner, innocence,
Form:
Quatrain
Once a hippie with a "high" demeanor
Made a big "Bong" from a vacuum cleaner
The dust he forgot
His coughing throat caught
Now there's no pot, and his face's much greener!
Categories:
cleaner, character, crazy, creation, imagery,
Form:
Limerick
A chambermaid whose name is Marlia
Had the most terrible diarrhoea
Whilst scrubbing a loo
She needed to pooh
Poop flowed freely from her posterior
It splattered on the newly scrubbed door
Gloopy poop was all over the floor
There was a huge mess
It covered her dress
Her poor tummy was ever so sore
WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON
Marlia was filled with sorrow
A clean dress she had to borrow
flies were attracted
The mess compacted
clean up required a harrow!
WRITTEN BY LIM'RIK FLATS
If only she'd have taken a Tums
No mess would be left on her bums
she's still in despair
a stench in the air
To the scent of poop she succumbs
WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH
Marlia was dumb, thinking it was just gas
But it was much more that she had to pass
The day was torrid
Her stench was horrid
Now everyone knows Marlia has no class
WRITTEN BY LIN LANE
Marlia tried hard to sneak out
the trail of her poop left no doubt
Lysol was sprayed,
Her funk still stayed
cause her poop kept running out
WRITTEN BY DANIEL TURNER
Poor, poor Marlia stunk up the room
Her hubby left and she has no groom
He ran for the hills
No more night thrills,
Now she's alone and her life is doom
WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y
21-07-17
Categories:
cleaner, body, humorous, irony, jobs,
Form:
Limerick
Red furry vacuum silently goes across the floor
Consuming dropped homemade southern biscuit
Then looks up with sad eyes beggin' for more
Just for fun!!
Categories:
cleaner, dog, food, funny,
Form:
Rhyme
You make my life so easy
sucking up the dirt and fluff,
hair that makes me quite queasy
and all sorts of unmentionable stuff.
You never get tired or wheezy
and help when things get rough.
Or when I feel rather uneasy,
you show you’re always tough enough.
Theme 2
48 words
Categories:
cleaner, humorous,
Form:
Ode
There once was a cleaner called Su,
Who spent all her time in the loo.
As she cleaned up the pan,
She upset a young man:
He was doing a number two.
Categories:
cleaner, work
Form:
Limerick
For all the work you do,
those daily chores beyond the norm
in a pinch you come through,
a vacuum cleaner built so strong.
For you my electric power broom
on dust and grit do raid.
You chase dirt from any room.
So very thankful you were made.
A vacuum cleaner, dust buster machine
this is an ode to you
Can't just say you're a woman's routine
a man needs a sturdy one too.
10/6/20
Categories:
cleaner, appreciation,
Form:
Ode
The Street Cleaner
He is not a lucky man, but he is happy but one day he won on a lottery ticket,
not a not a big sum of money but enough to by wheelbarrow got permission
from the local council to keep the town`s streets clean. Happy, telling himself
he was self- employed and could sleep till nine in the morn if he wanted to.
A busy bee a busy bee he was till he collided with Mercedes was taken to court
and his wheelbarrow was confiscated to pay for the damage. He had a bike and
got a local garage to put a two- wheel contraption to fasten to his bike, the town
got rid of its trash again until an officious policeman asked him if he had a licence
for this he didn`t and it was confiscated. Now he had a jute sack slung on his proud
shoulders and a walking stick with a nail attached, a weapon a police officer said
he was carrying a weapon in public and he was prosecuted. He didn`t show up
to the hearing and when the law came around, he hung from a rafter sometimes
even serious optimists give up and with no cleaner the town sank into misery,
plagued by vermin the population fled, a town given into paper napkins pizza boxes
and burger wrappers and the poor who had nowhere to go. And if this reflects
the life of a typical inner city of our English speaking world it is purely incidental.
Categories:
cleaner, absence, abuse, analogy, business,
Form:
Ballade
I clean that dust whole day
For over three years
I have persisted to serve you
It pays for my needs
I do not fear to mention
The wrongs of people
When they visit our public place
Any other thing can be overlooked
But not health concerns
The night becomes too long
It disappoints me often
When people get aware
That am not around
So in the morning
I can’t find where to sit at ease
I do not know
What people eat
But I guess
They all eat so badly
But that’s unfair friends
You may think you are doing fun of me
Think wisely my friend
Life is slippery on top
And you might slide down
To find yourself in my clothes
Little did I know as well
While that way I’d have grown
Categories:
cleaner, community, deep, environment, poetry,
Form:
Free verse
He gifted his girl with a doll
he brought home from every trip.
Oh, how the beauty would enthrall!
Always her heart would flop and flip.
A doll so rigid stiff and straight,
she had to have a pedestal
just to support he couture’s weight!
Her fashions were incredible.
Her essence was molded plastic.
Her hair and eye color unique.
Her formal wear was fantastic,
fairly fashioned of worthy pique.
Each doll distinct in color and dress.
A favorite, a darked-haired beauty.
Her frock of emerald finesse,
not just another frail cutie!
A collection long lost to time
as is each chenille pipe cleaner.
I cherish moments of their prime,
and their glamorous demeanor.
Categories:
cleaner, emotions, fashion, father daughter,
Form:
Rhyme
"As you live deep in the heart, the mirror gets clearer and cleaner".- quote by Rumi
Majestic and a clean heart when it was born.
Immense sponge absorbing the best and the worst of life,
Risking purity to abandon its principles.
Reconsider about cleaning where your heart reflects.
Offer yourself the best image
for the others to look at.
Reset mistakes diving deep inside, where you only can go.
Categories:
cleaner, birth, confidence, deep, devotion,
Form:
Acrostic
"Leave it cleaner than you found it;"
Do not be too high for a minial task.
Those above you may come around it
And curse a praise, then, amazingly ask,
"Did you perform this excellent work?"
"Are you the one behind it all?"
"Would you like a position that others shirk?"
Just you be ready to answer the call...
And "leave it cleaner than you found it."
Do not act too high for a minial task.
Though all your peers may come around it
With curses behind white teeth to ask,
"Why are you doing more than the work?"
"There is no need to do much at all!"
"They care not for us, so this we shirk."
Just you stay ready- they will miss the call...
(Dedicated to Lee Benson, Professor of Art)
Categories:
cleaner, workmay,
Form:
Iambic Pentameter
He awoke around midnight
with a strange thought in his head,
Was floating through a distance
somewhere high above his bed.
He could not reach the blankets
that had kept him once so warm,
Stared down on a rusted crown
left beside his lifeless form.
Promises long forsaken
were drifting into this view,
Written on the parchment brown,
carried by a breeze come through.
Reminded him his fortune;
his survival of the flood;
All those things given to him
that were signed for with his blood.
Trumpets played and drummers drummed
as people paraded by,
Hardly got to say 'hello',
let alone a quick 'goodbye'.
Saw a few he knew by name
though they looked not at his face,
Marched into the falling mist,
disappearing with no trace.
Felt the chill of winter's breeze
as if cut through to the bone,
Knew at once the emptiness
meant for those that die alone.
Minutes turned to centuries
and dreams took flight on the wing,
Changes move with changes quick;
the alarm clock starts to ring.
He's now cleaned this parish church
for nigh on thirty-five years . . .
Categories:
cleaner, faith,
Form:
Rhyme