Best Carrots Poems
A farmer met a wizard who was wearing odd regalia
The wizard gave him seed of magic carrots from Australia
You sow them just like normal but they all grow upside down
The leaves will grow like roots, the carrots stick out of the ground
The farmer dug and rotavated, levelled off the soil
He was super motivated, those seeds mustn’t spoil
He worked so hard, that shovel he was pushing and a shoving
When he was done his back was bad and now he’s good for nothing
Those magic carrots, upside down, all turned out to be beauties
But poor old farmer’s stuck indoors on lightweight household duties
He’s standing in the kitchen where he’s washing pans and pots
His wife is in the carrot field and smiling as she squats
If carrots peeled for dipping, cut in strips
could keep their beta-carotene, yet taste
like crackers Ritz when placed upon my lips,
What bliss! But they do not. Ah! - such a waste!
And if that low-fat yogurt which they're dipped in
Were luscious onion-flavored sour cream;
and if instead of water I sipped sin-
a frothy shake the flavor of my dream;
Oh, what nectar on my tongue that I would feel
if everything nutritious tasted sweet,
and dull or nasty foods could just taste real
like melted cheese, potatoes fried or meat.
If only what I hated tasted good,
I'd diet not, but eat all that I could!
Just a silly oldie from my dieting days!!!
I read, that carrots help stop diarrhea,
I was amused and exclaimed: "Wow"!
It is not easy to imagine how,
Somebody put the carrot in his rear.
The gleaners undirt
these profane candy morphs
as they sift through the fields
in springs and falls.
Apiaceous, mud beige
burrowed beasties, them
bow legged, cowboy pulps;
others with flipped birds
sprung up from their hairy
carrot fists, bronxing to the sun.
You would think they
would be tough, those
mutter udders, those gangsta roots,
but they slice nicely into sticks,
lunch box size, far sweeter
than the common orange of their ilk,
far sweeter than their own
shrubby beards would veil.
Perhaps it’s the extra time
under muck that honeys them up,
dirt balls matriculating,
steeped in their element.
On weekends at the soup kitchen,
late May through long past Labor Day,
we pack the sweet gleaned under-chips
into sack lunches with smoked ham hero’s
and Frito's downtown behind the Kroger
where a sunny civil riot takes
place on Saturdays, and everyone
shows up out of their bag
to pick up the sticks, hungry stomachs,
all blood color-red in the gut
all ready to sit their hells
down…and eat.
The spring rains fall in may, they say
Heavy showers
New greens on the fields
And flowers blossom
Lillies, roses, daffodils, and all
Their fruity scents brush my soul
And then hop scotch come the bunnies
Beautiful, cunny, and ever so lovely
Helter skelter they nibble at the carrots
Morning rays they bath in
Little smiles on their faces
Such innocence, such beauty.
I see them and think of bunny
I met bunny in February
We blushed in March
Cup cakes on April first
The railways and sunsets
Thumb licking days
Mango flavored ice creams
And i named her wabit
Love me she did
Love her i did
May brought the late night walks
The stands by the pitch
The cathedral and and the hill
The friends teasing, ??????
I proposed to wabit in june
In that small white dress
That same pitch seat
That star lit night
The innocent bird in field
I proposed to my bunny that night
Like little bunnies and carrots
Saying little words like parrots
A new beginning was born
The spring rains still come in may,
The flowers they say,
Still blossom the same old way
And i love my bunny every day
Two years and still counting,
The stars will soon sing
And butterflies will dance
????????????????????
Pickles in tea
black beans with cheese
Surely no way to
a man's appetite please
Carrots in lard
cornbread that’s hard
Cantaloupe feathered
and tarred…
His fiancé looked nice
but she couldn’t boil rice
So he settled for a slice
of toast ~ freshly charred
The heart shaped carrots
Another cold meal
Convincing myself,
It's no big deal
In he does swagger
A rush plain to see
I'm sorry my love
At the office I've been
No guilt on his face
I sigh with relief
Soon off up to bed
Filled with belief
My instincts now rule
As he goes for a shower
His shirt has aroma
A sweet sickly flower
His phone I do search
Evidence plain to see
My darling be here
By quarter past three ***
Enough is enough
I pretend I'm asleep
When I hear him snore
Away I do creep
Come on kids lets go
Adventures ahead
The last time I saw him
Was asleep in our bed
Settled in to eat the carrots.
Orange and very long.
They were Viking boats!
Sang a warrior's song.
Put lentils on the sides,
Brave warrior shields with green bean spears.
No one could hide.
Ready to land.
Floated across the gravy.
Mashed potatoes were near.
Landed in the fluff.
The monster stabbed them all.
Down the gullet they went.
Real quick!
Momma said, "Eat them all,
They will improve your eyes!"
Does that mean my eyes will glow?
Like the monster I have inside?
Wishing some times
turns sunshine to rain
Tender falls the rain
as i speak your name
don't waste my time
tryna break my heart
you knew the outcome
from the very start
Love me Tender
Never wanna let me go
sappy love songs
Sh*t thought I let you knoiw
Aint wanting hurt
don't like bruised feelings
got look into who
and what I'm dealing with
Tender falls the rain
as i speak your name
tell you this means to me
Love and tender kiss
you sopossa be my Missus
Tell me what this is
since this involvest me
standing behind the curtain
rehersting your favorite script.
Tender falls the rain
siggin on suttlease
swaggin like you the mistress
betta get wiff me
love don't need much
collabration
Gal just do your thang
I need yo blessed assurance
Ask you let me have my way
Tender falls the rain
Baby love me Tender
Speak it when you speak
my name
Baby what's for dinner
we've had our hard times
you and i
Throught the good and bad time
some how
we got by
Now that your here with me
Baby let's stay together
say you love so
that you'll leave me never
tender Falls the rain
as I speak your name
'' Eating Carrots Aid Night Vision''
Carrots are for those who hunger,
For what will satisfy right now.
Whether blind, half blind or just blinkered.
We all have needs to be fulfilled.
Words of truth may shake foundations,
No bad thing! when the build’s on sand.
Those golden roots they lay deep down.
Store them with care, keep them all dry,
They’ll be used in time to dine the many.
When the famine looms, they’ll fill a gap.
May they inspire still simple desires,
A challenge to the innards of Tardis
Proverbs 29:18
Carrots... a great veggie when you're famished
Especially if you want to stay hungry and not become blimpish
Carrots are not my fav
In fact, carrots I never crave
Could get along without em even if from the kitchen they vanished
The soup of me
is poetry,
I'll serve it to
my friend Andrew
and as he eats
delicious treats
I'll say to you,
"Why's Andrew blue?"
and you'll respond,
"Well, listen, Juan,
now please don't scoff,
but it's bland broth,"
and now I see
the poetry
should be more true
like carrot stew,
and so I'll add
(just like my dad)
some carrots, two,
for friend Andrew,
but he's still blue,
so what to do?
I'll take the stew:
no more for you,
Andrew! "It's true,
you see," you say
to me, "You'll pay
(not free) today,
you'll see, if you
can continue
to poo-poo Drew
for trying stew
that was so bland,
just understand,
his tastes are true
as me or you,"
and so I'll try
to satisfy
that picky Drew
because he's true
in what he says
and I'd be dead
if I was so
unfair as to
not understand
that he's a man
and he deserves
more pleasing herbs,
and so I'll try
to add some thyme
and if it works
then I'll alert
you to this thing
and I'll be king
and we'll be free.
Democracy.
Girl wearing lavender brought us carrots at the hutch.
We were appreciative, liked these orange things very much.
Stay and have some with us, suggested my cousin, Dutch.
Sorry, she said. I have to go get a car with a clutch.
Aren’t those old-fashioned? Asked my uncle Smutch.
Yes, but I like antiques, said the girl, I have an old-person’s touch.
Dutch thought it was funny, and laughed, and Smutch yelled “Dutch!”
He did not want the feelings hurt of girl who brought us carrots at the hutch.
I have eaten my last carrot
Munching it, I should say
A place between yellow and red
Like autumn
I saw a question
The difference
Between absolute and relative
Poverty
I have not eaten my last carrot
Shop around the corner
Open to 23:00
Money in the bank
Munching a carrot
Thinking on the difference
Between absolute and relative
Poverty
I have not eaten my last carrot
A lot left to eat before I die
“I have eaten my last carrot”
Not on my headstone
I look out, at the artificial turf
Yellow and red leaves on the mesh fence
A forgotten orange workout jacket
Somewhere between yellow and red
A fistful of carrots
Maybe the difference
Between absolute and relative
Poverty
Altho' it's not E=mc squared,
Albert was heard to theorise
when he declared,
"Carrots are relatively good for the eyes,
it's a fact
they'll make you see well and look good too,
I'm blinding you with science,
it's not hoodoo or a voodoo act."
He then asserted,
with a wicked grin,
"It only hurts when you put them in."