Best Blouse Poems
Mitt Romney’s wife was criticized
(Though she was not defensive)
Because she chose to wear a blouse
Considered quite expensive.
She wore it on a TV show
So she would look her best,
But journalists decided that
She’d failed the litmus test.
All those who like to criticize
Were ready with their clucks,
Delighted to reveal that blouse
Surpassed nine hundred bucks!
Though prices through the stratosphere
I cannot comprehend,
I wonder why reporters care
What politicians spend.
John Edwards’ haircut, Palin’s suits
And now Ann Romney’s blouse,
Provide the ammunition so
The columnists can grouse.
Such splurges prove to all of us
Those folks are out of touch.
They have no clue that most of us
Would never spend so much.
Yet still, I find it strange these facts
Are told with fevered pitch;
Beware of candidates like these –
They’re not like us – they’re rich!
There once was a teacher, Miss Surely Best
Whose blouse was always open at the breast --
She'd wiggle her shoulder
Boys' eyes would get bolder --
Somehow they'd forget all about the test
December 27, 2018
Entry in 'Bawdy Limerick' Contest
Sponsor: Tania Kitchin
~~~~~~~~ Pink Polyester Pants ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I really like to ride my bike, outside your porch, hopin' for a glimpse,
of you sitting, singing dress a clinging in neatly pleated floral chintz.
And that time after school-ly when that bully pinched you on the buttocks,...
Though I decked em, I must respect em for admirin' your tattered denim cut-offs.
And, oh, did you look sweet and sassy when you wore that peasant blouse,...
though maybe not so replete and classy when you trick or treat'd at my house.
Though you are one year older, I sure feel bolder a'climbin' o yer backyard fence.
But I really flipped when I saw you slipped inside those pink polyester pants!
Get out of my head,
Please get out of it while I rest in my bed,
I don't need anyone right now,
Your presence I can't allow,
We've already said our goodbyes,
I coated my happy one with layers of lies,
Just to let you be free,
Cause you deserve the most perfect guy out there and be happy,
I can't destroy these memories of you,
Your face I could still see clearly from my memory's point of view,
This is unfair and sad,
I think my mind's getting crazy over you again and it's getting bad,
To me you still wear that fancy white blouse,
Having that glare that emulates secrecy for which you pretend you don't need a spouse,
But with that same glare I saw someone I could love,
And I think getting over you is the hardest testament I've received from above.
(This is a fictional poem)
You've been mowing the yard without a top.
People are staring and this is going to stop.
If these men don't stop staring at you, they'll need get well cards.
Get your naked self back in the house and let me mow the yard.
You embarrass me everytime you mow the lawn.
You'd better get in the house and put a top on!
If you go outside topless again, I'll lock you in the house.
Get your crazy ___ indoors and put on a damn blouse!
Confusion just settles in Julius’ house
And refuses to leave like well-fed mouse.
Julius needs nothing short of a tom cat
To out push whom he is sure is a vile rat:
A wife too cheerful with younger men
One: Ex-Boyfriend when he counts to ten…
Also, a wife whose bosom laughs at guys,
While she makes sure it seems fantastic lies!
Old Anna he’s dodged can give no child,
Younger Stella with his wedding ring wild
‘’ Childless Marriage to this Rubbish is mild!
The newest opinion of Julius Rothschild…
Julius can swear blokes are tasting his apple
And prays for moment he’d with this grapple
‘’God! Let me see in a wrong place her blouse,
To kickstart the handling of a smart louse.
I'm a button on her blouse
roundabout chest-high
Today she cursed because I burst
though her guy's eyes opened wide
Chris
My mother shouted from the kitchen
Beckoning me
Look have you seen this
And pointed to
A dead squirrel sprawled out
on our front lawn
And it was still there the next day
But luckily for me before i had to
take care of it myself
I spotted my neighbors Mike
and Jimmy talking and said
to them have you seen this
what i found
And Mike took it away and got
rid of it himself
I'm surprised im not a vegetarian
because if i had to actually had
to kill what i eat
Id probably starve or end up
being eat by what i couldn't
bring myself to kill
Ugh
My blouse
Remnants of
Chocolate Hershey
This blouse just got washed
My poor husband
Will have to
Clean it
Ugh!
She saw her in a smart sporty blouse
That drew sharp eyebrows and parents' grouse.
She spoke of her high stake:
It's all for students' sake,
Stay assured; I strive, young minds to rouse.
______________________________________
This limerick portrays what actually happened in a primary school. She thought, her blouse inspires young minds to rouse; but parents found, it was too small a house her assets to house. So, the parents when complained, this, a limerick, was what she said in defence.
Happenings | 07.12.09 |
Outgo way ahead
Than income if stirs man’s head,
She in a shrunk blouse,
Although from a cultured house,
Oh looks a bit lowly bred.
___________________________________
Tanka/Limerick |13.07.2023| humour
Poet’s note: Based on a shloka in Sanskrit:
Vittam parimitam adhika vyayasheelam purusham aakuli kurute |
Unaam shukam iva peena-stana jaghanaayaa kuleenaayaah ||
What about trying D’s? I suggested. They have bras.
We have been shopping for four hours.
I want to go to D’s to find a spectacular blouse.
Something colorful and artsy.
I always buy myself one jazzy blouse before school starts.
We drive to Store D’s.
My pal looks at a lacy red and pink bit of fluff.
We laugh at the price.
A turquoise bra with rhinestones is $68.
Red bra with bits of fake fur is $88.
Guess how much this one is? I ask. We laugh.
I find my colorful artsy blouse and leave happy.
My friend laments the closing of Kmart
Where she used to buy bras for the same price
as a box of cracker jacks.
Once in the dresser out of sight
Forgotten upon the drop of night,
Will this favored blue blouse be found
Or will she merely hide around?
For once you enter the dressers’ hovel and glut,
And that small drawer is tight and shut,
And you are not seen at quick first sight,
You are swiftly forgotten until you are too tight.
Little blue blouse, I hate to do it to you,
You are the prettiest blouse, oh, one so blue.
But in the drawer you suddenly must be.
As I am getting some company.
Moving through the street,
Downtown,
I encounter a rare sight,
Blouse with two blind eyes,
Dangling in the front,
But hidden underneath,
The eyes are not for seeing,
For decorations they are not,
But for imaginations,
Feelings,
Dreams.
Angelic or Abandoned Words Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Constance La France
Placed 3rd
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In a house there lived a mischievous mouse;
It tore the landlady’s many a blouse.
Though her husband told her ‘No’,
To it she gave a big blow.
Forever, the mouse abandoned the house.