Best Bladder Poems

I've grown a bit slower, I've grown a bit fatter,
  my mission each hour: relieving my bladder.
When I was a youngster, I had no...

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Jill was out on a leisurely stroll
When she suddenly needed to go
Her thighs she tightly squeezed
And headed for the trees
But tripped and fell, pants now...

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I'm in me bath here, with a box of red cheer, 
yeah a box of red cheer, beer's too bloody dear.
Me mind's wanderin twixt big...

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I crossed my legs but there was a flood
Blushing red I hope folks understood
But my waters had burst
And the baby's my first
Guess I'm ready to...

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Whiskey on the rocks, advised by my doc
combats dementia, so bring on the blocks
no need for a glass;  I'll have me the bottle
with a...

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As I ponder my weak bladder, you see.
I travel around the corner from thee.
Be careful if around the corner you go.
Please for your sake, watch...

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My bladder behaves through the night
Each morning my flow is just right.... 
But throughout the day 
There is hell to pay
It's bursting; I cross my...

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Driving past the couple 
I could see
They were heading my way
Expecting tea

Now anyone is welcome 
At my humble home
Except those two
Why have they come?

She clanks...

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Prickly cool fills my lungs,
     Like a bladder canteen on a Bedu dromedary,

Sloshing the alveoli that branch, internal ...
  ...

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Thru maritime miles of minions in motion
We hedge our opinions while pledging devotion	
To serving the Captain and sharing our smiles
Through barrels of onions and flea-bearing...

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The cabin was stood there, its door was ajar
The owners were out but they couldn’t be far
She was so thirsty she needed a drink
Did she...

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Horrible, my map upended our time with boot camp son.
Horrible to get back to base, not be caught, had to run.

Horrible, to see Mom hurried...

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Some people can be so ignorant
I know they're not to blame
They see me in my wheelchair
And say “Aw, isn't it a shame”?

I say “Hello, I’m...

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I had an IPod problem!
I fixed it, this is how!
I named the thing "Titanic",
by God, it's "syncing" now!

I was wondering where the sun goes?
I stayed...

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(after Edgar Allan Poe's "The Angel of the Odd")

It was a tidy day and I sat, replete, under vellux blankets.
Sadly, my tea was weak, the...

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