Best Black Friday Poems
black Friday
so long have detested you
traffic and shoppers
fighting over a cheap purse. . .
lost car in the parking lot
RUDOLPHS DEMISE
Rudolf reindeer lost his sight in one eye
Santa said you won't be able to fly
Also said you're getting old
To a butcher he was sold
He ended up as red nose reindeer pie...
SPEEDING SANTA
A speed trap was set up on the highway
Cops waited for a mug to come their way
A speeder appeared
Sporting a white beard
They handcuffed him and impounded his sleigh...
'DIRTY' SANTA
An elf debts just wouldn't go away
To raise money he stole Santa's sleigh
The bad elf went on the run
Santa shot him with his gun
Saying " go ahead punk make my day"...
POOR POLLY
The family were waiting to be fed
But the turkey had rotted and smelt dead
They were in a rut
The shops were all shut
So they roasted their pet parrot instead...
THE GRINCH
Someone stole presents from under the tree
Cops were baffled and thought who can it be ?
The culprit was seen
Twas a man in green
The Grinch caught as he attempted to flee...
ELVES REVENGE
The elves downed tools cos they wanted more pay
Santa said" you get enough so no way
I dont need you no more
Can get toys from the store "
They got their revenge and burned down his sleigh ...
EYE EYE
A man ordered for dessert pumkin pie
Was choking stomach thrusts' they did apply
Started to heave
Made other guests leave
Chef rushed over, said " you found my glass eye"...
Written 30th November 2019.
I won’t shop Black Friday
because I’m not ready
to fend for my life
in a scene rough and heady.
So call me a coward!
You won’t see me fight ‘em,
and risk getting maimed
for a much-desired item.
Date: November 28, 2019
Contest Title: McWhirtle Me
Sponsor: Charles Messina
Black Friday, Dark Day
You are coming.
I checked the ads.
I am ready.
Wait?
No one needs,
anything.
Homeless…
are on the streets.
Vets, without care.
Angel moms that…
never stop crying.
Angel fathers lost
between vengeance,
and the effort,
of forgiveness.
not possible.
Pray for the ones,
trying to buy their way out,
of the box,
the coffin they built,
from the skeletons of babies,
carved from the bodies
of the stupid, the lost
and the dammed.
It matters not what color,
all are dead.
More will follow still…
All gifts from God,
rejected by the least
deserving.
Don’t pass the Angel Tree at the mall.
spread cheer if you can,
as there are still little ones,
left, in need.
Off to the races, running...
from pillar to post,
from store A to Z.
a mad dash for...
sweet deals; the bright light
of sheer excitement...
grace the faces
of early shoppers.
'Tis that time again...
for bargain-hunting.
So good luck, if it's your thing.
Don't be left with slim pickings!
Date written: 11/29/2019
Bargains galore!
Lots of people out shopping
All looking for that special gift
Carrier bags bulging
Keep an eye on the spending
Frazzled tempers
Riots break out
I got the LAST one
Don’t ever want to go shopping again
All I want is to go home
Yipee ... only 365 days till we do it all over again!!!
Jan Allison
27th November 2014
Fists flying people crying
On this crazy day black Friday
What a disgrace as the hunter’s race
Christmas bargains with a punch in the face
Dozens of brawls and 999 calls
From stores all around the country
These midnight sales just turned into hell
Behaving like wild animals that were hungry
Shopping madness hit the towns
Customers fighting like savaged clowns
Ripped stuff down from the shelves stacked high
And within minutes the TV’s and gadgets went dry
Reports came in from everywhere
This place is a battlefield they don’t care
Shocking behaviour and violence broke out
Some were screaming whilst others would shout
It was deadly like a war picture scene
People grabbing and pushing for just anything
They were having a tug of war over electrical goods
Rivals punching black and blue to snatch for their hoods
Supermarkets were forced to close their doors
When the crowds rushed in they forgot civil laws
It was a shameful site and the customers weren’t polite
Those black Friday shoppers they did fuss and they did fight
© Copyright by KC.Leake
29th November 2014
All Rights Reserved
Love your neighbor as you love yourself
What happened to our mind set?
She’s an infant not a cure for aids
She’s pure why forcefully snitch her virginity
Respect our women you selfish men
South Africa you’ve made a name for yourself “rape capital”
Let us unite against rape and restore our good name
My beloved South Africans unite!
Unite against women and child abuse
One person raped is one too many
Anene Boysens, your death united the nations
United, they condemned discrimination against women
They said” every girl has a right to be respected and protected against women abuse”
How long should we take this barbaric conduct?
We owe it to all the victims to fight this disease
Woe to your power assertive rapists
Woe to you anger retaliation rapists
Woe to you sadistic rapists
Woe to you juvenile sex offenders
Woe to you women offenders
14 February after sun set a word went forth
Rapists have no place in South Africa
February 15, 2013 declared a black Friday
We shall remain black until we defeat rape
Victory is within our reach, fight against rape.
< ladies ~ gentlemen ~ start those ...... engines
miss ~ Ho ~ down - prices .... would be a sin
best buy - circuit city
black ~ friday .... how pitty
5 am ~ now ~ who ~ wears ~ smiling ... grins
k- mart ~ wal - mart ~ target ~ pennys
red tag sales of many and plenty
but you must buy in bulks
and ~ get ~ guy ~ like ~ the ... hulk
to ~ push ~ cart ~ while ~ you ~ chat ~ with ... jenny
let's ~ all ~ hop ~ on ~ over ~ to ~ I - hop
your one stop for christmas breakfast slop
sure pancakes sounds yummy
but wait till hits tummy
be sitting on stool till it plops
Entry For
Carolyn Devonshire's
Commericialized Holiday Humor Contest
Gl All And Happy Holidays
Love Kathy & Jenny
Walking wounded
in the mall,
so many, so joyless,
grimly marching from
store to store.
So few with a dance
in their step.
Buying and not needing,
hoping things will change
their life.
Looking and wanting,
this really is Cibola,
a golden illusion,
all you could want, yet
you still age searching
for streets paved
with rubies
and a temple given
over to greed and foolishness,
and a child to work,
and a woman to sweat,
and a father to die,
thousands of miles
from home.
Talk about a Christmas miracle I tell you it was just amazing,
The sale of the century and it set my charge card blazing.
Why they were practically giving the stuff away I couldn’t just turn and leave,
The prices were so Earth-shatteringly low it was impossible to believe.
And no one seemed to be around and there was an oversupply of stock,
No pushing or shoving anywhere, I was the only shopper on the block.
The checkout lines were completely empty and I didn’t have to wait,
And the gourmet coffee that the bagger gave me really tasted great.
And then my alarm went off and I saw that it was three o’clock in the morning,
I had to be ready to go by four or my sister would leave me without warning.
Black Friday comes but once a year, she said, so be ready or be in trouble deep,
But I preferred shopping in my dreams so I rolled over and went back to sleep.
The day after Thanksgiving I didn't have to work
So, I decided to do something which was kind of a quirk.
I thought I would do some early shopping
For those Christmas gifts that would be eye popping.
As I started my car to begin my store raid
Something went amiss to stop my escapade.
I opened the hood to find the problem there
When I saw it, it really gave me a scare.
Our neighbor's black cat had crawled onto the engine block
Feeling the warmth, but not taking stock.
When I turned the key to give it a start
The cat shrieked as its tail was nearly cut apart.
Oh, it wasn't intentional that I hurt that poor pet
But you've never seen anything like it I'll bet.
When I heard the noise and the hissing you see,
I thought one of the hoses had broken...leaking fluently.
But it was the cat that was hissing when I raised the hood
All he could think of was to jump for where I stood.
With claws all out and teeth set to bite
Him coming at me was quite the site.
Fortunately he missed me with his outstretched paws,
Or I would have been really attached to those razor like claws.
When he hit the ground he ran away
Scared the crap out of me...that's all I'll say.
So I had to collect myself before I could go anywhere
Went back to the house and just stood shaking there.
Of course, I had to have a pop or two
To settle my nerves before I started anew.
Before I knew it, I was asleep in a chair
I never attempted to go anywhere.
All because a black cat wanted to keep warm
In the end, I was thankful I did so little harm.
"Black Friday" would have cost me a heck of a lot more
Had it not been for that cat's dozing for sure.
So, now whenever I go to the store
I buy some cat food, for that kitty next door.
He still remembers my opening that hood
I still remember him trying to claw me where I stood.
But we've come to an understanding that cat and me
And I tap the car before starting it to let him see.
As it is now...he stays out of my way,
Except when I feed him, for all the money he saved me on "Black Friday".
I'm Sleeping In On Black Friday
By Elton Camp
Soon we will see Black Friday again
Peace on earth, good will toward men
Start of the Christmas holiday season
Robs some folks of their sound reason
There’s no way that I’d enjoy
Fighting over some scarce toy
Standing in line all night long
Is a place that I don’t belong
It’s not worth it to have to face
“You moved, so I take your place!”
The doors finally open wide
Push and shove to get inside
Riots this year may be repeated
Whenever the stock is depleted
Snatching, grabbing doesn’t entice
Over some mere electronic device
One customer last year was dead
Baseball bat applied to his head
“That last doll you can’t buy!
Here’s what you get for the try!”
It's all humbug anyway
Safe in my bed, I’ll stay
Tainted Souls lost to
Consumerism -
Human debris
Stumbling
Tearing flesh for
A crumb of pride.
When the dark moon arises
And the neon signs beckon you to stare
Do you venture out into this strange consumer shopping world
Where ravenous shopping zombies await you if you dare
It is only for the very bold and the strongest
Those who can get pushed around without the slightest of care
But if you make it through this frenzied aisled gauntlet
There awaits mega riches beyond all compare,
You have waited all year for this precise moment
Through many hardships you have struggled yet survived
You will prevail Set your sale
Ladies and Gentleman
Bon Voyage!
Black Friday
The Shopping High Day
Has arrived!