Best Bernie Poems


Bernie You Be Careful

Vinny Rogers was a dairy man who milked three hundred cows.
Share farming with his son Bernie who put in the milking hours.
Now Bernie was adventurous; he liked his teenage fun.
He owned a car; paid off a boat - he also brought himself a gun.
Bernie you be careful
when you’re loading up that gun.
You've got to know your distance
and what damage can be done.

This gun was something special; more power than a three-o-three.
The bullets were more piercing said the spiel that he showed me.
The bore was mighty larger than his old twenty-two -
Bernie scanned the paddocks to see what this gun could do.
Bernie you be careful
when you’re loading up that gun.
You've got to know your distance
and what damage can be done.

Well it wasn't very long before, his first kill he's going to boast,
when he took aim at a crow that sat upon a corner post -
the bullet fired; the gun recoiled, and the crow is spun around.
Bernie heard the bellow from beyond - and saw their Friesian bull go down.
Bernie you be careful
when you’re loading up that gun.
You've got to know your distance
and what damage can be done.
Form: Lyric

Bernie Sanders

Bernie Sanders
to none he panders
reality check?
they all play from the same deck.
Form: Clerihew

A Fellow Named Bernie

Do you know a fellow named Bernie
Who was indicted by our Grand Jury
The Ponzie scheme that he played
And all those people he flayed
He is now on a long Prison Journey
Form: Limerick


Bernie Sanders

I don't trust Hillary Clinton because of the allegations that she's facing.
A future with her as President is something I would have a difficult time embracing.
Bernie Sanders is the Presidential candidate for me.
I've contributed to him and voted for him in the primaries.
Many years ago Sanders opposed segregation.
That was awesome and deserved celebration.
Congress passed Sanders' first piece of legislation for the National Program of Cancer Registries.
All 50 states now run registries to help cancer researchers gain important insight because of the effort of Bernie.
He was re-elected to serve eight terms as a Congressman by the people in Vermont.
Bernie Sanders has integrity and that is the kind of president that I want.
Form: Rhyme

Remembering Bernie Madoff

In a city populated 
by selfish, soulless men,
ghosts roam the streets tormented,
thinking of what might have been.
On the searing, sulfur sidewalks
haunted money hawkers dwell;
they meant to live in heaven,
but they find themselves in hell.

Account manipulation
will not give them what they need;
all the gold in Midas' coffers
will not change the way they bleed.
Chasing after their god Mammon,
killing love with greedy gain,
alone they ride sin's savage subway
in their city bricked with pain.

They might buy the Eiffel Tower
with the profits they amass,
they might be the king of Wall Street
on the backs of those they pass;
but every man must face the mirror
hanging not upon a wall,
this world is not forever, 
pride still precedes the fall.

In a city populated
by selfish, soulless men,
ghosts roam the streets tormented
thinking of what might have been. . .

Copyright, 4/28/2014
Faye Gibson
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member Bernie and the Hee-Haws

I get my mass shootings mixed up
every day-another one-
makes you somewhat numb
the killers are all much the same
life time losers-twisted agenda
so quick to place the blame-

They can plan and finance their mayhem
then claim that they're insane
spared the sparky chair and ball and chain  
a lifetime of freebies...at the peril of my pay-

There's a pack of mad dogs lying in wait
ready to unload their unbridled fangs
time to (perc) up folks-time to lock and load
at least you'll give society a chance 
when the next time bomb explodes....

Bernie and the hee-haw gang want to give these A holes
the right to vote--
Form: Rhyme


Bernie Kinnears Fireball Auto

YOU ARE IN A CAR WITH CHARCOAL BLAZING IN THE BOOT....DID IT EXPLODE :)
Bernie Kinnear was a blacksmith who  needed charcoal
so they brought some by car to the smithy...trouble was it came to life and set fire to
the boot of the car
Bernie Kinnear
Dirranbandi Blacksmith   1900 +
Mark said it was smoking and Harold laughed with glee (Harold was a bit slow)
Bernies charcoal was a blazing so much smoke you couldn't see
Bernie Kinnear wanted charcoal for his forge at the smithy shop
So he burnt a tree and waited for the fire and smoke to stop

Harolds flivver it was loaded Harold drove and Bernie talked
Poor Mark was worried, he'd really wished he'd walked
The spare tyre was a blazing and the paint was burning too
So they baled out at Bernie's from this fire ball ooh..
Some time later...
Bernie went to meet a client at the café Pippos...(local Greek cafe)
Bern tapped him on the shoulder and said Ill see you out side boss
Nervous habit of Bernie's was a rolling up his sleeves 
Stevens thought a fight was on, Bernie buckled at the knees 
When the fight was over Bernie said to Stevens gees!
Here's the part I made you and only ten quid if you please.....(quid Aussie pound )

Mark Johnson at about 17   worked with these 2 characters 
In Dirranbandi bridge building.
People who went outside to fight rolled their sleeves up and tapped you on the shoulder
first .fisticuffs imminent ....back in the 50s
These old Blacksmiths kept things going and were good value in the bush country towns
Don Johnson
Form: Ballad

It Is Bernie Sanders Time

I am small,
You are tall,
But does it matter at all?

No, Bernie!
My heart is Berning!
You see my vision.

I am a twig,
And you are big?
Let The Bern do his gig!

Bernie Sanders we can dig!
Form: Lyric

The Last Remaining Socialist - Apart From Bernie, That Is

Hark! That rustling of the leaves
makes me wobbly at the knees,
or did I dream of Thatcher’s ghost
chasing "wets" from post to post?
 ·
When Tony Blair bashed up Hussein,
no Robin Hood at home bought gain. 
Who then yet may save the day? 
Who remains to show the way?
Bill Dozer is this man, I say! 
Trouser? Loser? Boozer? Hey! 
Who the heck's Bill Dozer?

Like Superman he flits about. 
cosh in hand, with mighty clout. 
He is a man of iron fist, 
the last remaining socialist.
He hears each worker's woeful cry: 
like Joe Hill he'll never die. 

When Marx shall rise from Highgate's tomb, 
capitalists will meet their doom.
Horn-rimmed his specs, his suit dull-brown, 
he swoops like an eagle down. 
He'll give each grabbing boss the boot 
and share with us the ill-gotten loot.

Bill Dozer is this man, I say! 
Trouzer? Loser? Boozer? Hey! 
Who the heck's Bill Dozer? 
But if still the point you missed: 
He's the last remaining socialist.
Form: Burlesque

Bernie Closing Horn Haiku

Bernie Closing Horn Haiku

I am supposing
Bernie He may be closing
As well as statements.

Jim Horn
© James Horn  Create an image from this poem.
Form: Haiku

A Friend Named Bernie

Sweet Felicia wore a frown, as the distant thunder grew
Raindrops fell and nearly drowned, the beetles running two by two

We ran in tandem through the night, seeking shelter from the storm
In the distance shone a light, and in peril hope was born

A simple cabin through the fog appeared, as if a vision in a dream
We slowly walked, and as we neared, it was beyond a shallow stream 

And now to wade in this cold wind, took all our courage and our grit 
And as we rapped upon the door, the darkened window became lit

As the door swung open slowly, a bearded elder did appear
"Who is it, who wants to enter?" I spoke but stuttered as he came near

“We’re seeking shelter from the storm, as we lost our way back home
Our nerves are tattered, our wills are worn, this tempest chilled us to the bone”

The blind man begged us “come inside”, arm in arm we slowly entered
Felicia clinging to my side, the blind man asked us where we ventured

As I began to speak, a darkened figure did appear
My hands did shake, my knees grew weak, Felicia screamed as he came near

“What frightens so your lady friend?”, I cried “man don’t you know what you have here?”
“It’s just a visitor” the fool replied, and said we should no be in fear

Felicia hid behind my back, as this large creature held out his hand
I slowly held mine out as well, and we shook slowly where I stand

I realized what I just saw, was something spoken of in tales of lore
Yes it was Bigfoot standing here in front of me, I thought of heading for the door

The blind man said we all should sit, wait out the storm, wait ‘till daylight 
So we all sat and had some wine, the blind man’s hand produced a pipe

Where did he get this wondrous herb?, that made my smile light up so bright
Before the clock struck once again, Felicia went out like a light

And as my body now grew numb, I tried to rise to no avail
And flying high now as a kite, tomorrow I must not tell this tale

To those who wonder where we were, on yesterdays long journey
We both agreed that we should say, we went to see a friend named Bernie

Bothersome Bernie Burn

Bothersome Bernie Burn

Better be sure you want to take your turn
Suffering from a bothersome Bernie burn
Who is not steady and much smooth sailing
Will be finger pointing with arms flailing.

Am noticing lately he sure has a knack
Mentioning small percent's and SuperPAC
For subjects in articles, it is hard to fall
None of them ever make any sense at all.

Of all his things am trying to keep score
Is big braggadocio as well as much more
To halt things should come to a screech
And no goals he set could he ever reach.

You guessed it, his goals are out of sight
He would have to worry all day and night 
Go backwards instead of forwards inching
With his thoughts that are penny pinching.

Thought of Bernie bothers me and him do dread
So who we should have is Hillary instead
Unless by Bernie you have become enchanted
Like him always take everything for granted.

James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
© James Horn  Create an image from this poem.
Form: Couplet

A Belligerent Bernie

A Belligerent Bernie

What he did was disturbing by digressing
Around with minds when he is messing
Now have to understand what he meant
Wife looks good in dress they call a tent.

In repertoire many things are done by Bernie
Even went a journey to find an attorney
And down path as usual we were all led
He ended up seeing the Pope instead.

We would have to hesitate and levitate
And to see letter from Pope have to wait
He had hoped that the letter better be
Addressed to him from honorable Holy Sea.

As tension piled on while it was mounting
Letter had been from a Brooklyn soda fountain 
Where on top of Sunday's they have to heap
For belligerent Bernie who is an old creep.

James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
© James Horn  Create an image from this poem.
Form: Couplet

How About Hillary Or Bernie

How About Hillary or Bernie

Should we have to take another survey
To see how we will lean and which way
How about Bernie Zombie or scarecrow
Like in Wizard of Oz so similar we know.

Hillary do love and seems so adoring
While Bernie is dull and always boring
Maybe might select Trump the Terrible
Whatever he does is always unbearable.

Trump the Terrible people he will abuse
How about father of famous Ted Cruz?
With Trump there never is any denying
He either loves you or said you are lying.

Day by day debate became more heated
And hope after it all has been completed
Hillary in White House will end up being
With all her programs we were agreeing.

James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet

Will be traveling going to Arkansas tomorrow
to visit mother in law in a care home. Bye for
now and will be back this coming Friday.
© James Horn  Create an image from this poem.
Form: Couplet

Oh Say Can You See Bernie

Oh Say Can You See Bernie

Every place and wherever he may go,
Loud voice boomed looking like scarecrow,
Waving hands moving all over the place;
Seldom would you see smile on his face.

Looked like he suffered from an inquisition
Or after having gone on a long expedition;
Here and there pointed one or each finger
Can't imagine him being a great singer.

Band leader doubt if he would have been;
Rapidly moved his hands again and again;
Is so slender, tall, very brave and bold
He really is awkward and way too old.

James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
RiverSea Plantation
Bolivia, NC
© James Horn  Create an image from this poem.
Form: Couplet

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