Best Balderdash Poems
"That's utter balderdash," I loudly screamed
you can't catch a dragon with a mousetrap.
This operation proves you have no clue
we're in trouble; put on your thinking cap!
I'm sorry, but luck is not on our side
and we don't have the time for dissension.
Apples to apples we don't stand a chance
it's your life; you had best pay attention.
Jumpy, you're frightened of your own shadow
and before nightfall you'll be hearing things.
Setting traps is a total waste of time
it's a foolish plan, for dragons have wings.
You boggle my mind; I have to speak out
let’s let common sense affect the outcome.
Don't risk getting seen, until we spot it
and don’t attack it with pitchforks, that’s dumb.
We'll need to do everything in stealth mode
using a password other than guess who.
And by employing our wits, we’ll listen
for a kerplunk; dragons like water too.
And then we’ll fling out all our fishing nets
that we'll secretly prepare in advance.
And hope it gets hopelessly entangled
for I think drowning it is our best chance.
(Quatrain)
Mar. 04, 2019
Balderdash
I will not listen to iris eyes,
those lids for covers; frightened lies.
And cannot hear the nostril's fear
that calls you to me over here.
Balderdash
is all I'll say.
And keep my distance
and my way
Balderdash
I will not listen to faint of heart.
Half a story; a lie apart.
And cannot wait for one more pause.
A lie; your drama; without a cause.
Balderdash
is all I'll say.
And keep my distance
and my way
Balderdash
I will not listen to yellow bellies
who's waves break lies to coward's deli's.
And will not watch a brow fall down
without it's fear; without it's crown.
Balderdash
is all I'll say.
And keep my distance
and my way
Balderdash
I will not listen to crooked smiles
who's heart beats twice in self denial.
And will not watch the gizzard sink
to form a gully's fear of shrink.
Balderdash
is all I'll say.
And keep my distance
and my way
Balderdash
I will not listen to jointed nose
that prays for healing, as one knows.
And will not notice the patient smile
that lies back to you a waiting while.
Balderdash
is all I'll say.
And keep my distance
and my way
Balderdash
is all I say.
Balderdash.
Going my way.
Why don't I
jump up and
down with my hand
on my head yelling
"balderdash!"
When the poem
strings me out
even from the very title,
like politics, history or
makes no sense like dreams?
Thank goodness some people
can write like this.
I can't.
The media quickly came around with photoflash
Flowing champagne caused a sticky splash
What fuss commotion and mishmash
All because Alicia won the trophy playing Balderdash
On her way home Alicia made a dash
But in one momentous flash
A man with the funniest moustache
Drove towards Alicia causing their cars to crash
Alicia ended up with a slight whiplash
And said to fix the car will need some cash
Not much harm was done in the clash
In the backseat was Alicia’s trophy standing brash
AP: Honorable Mention 2022
A man indigenous to his homeland
was part of a tribal community.
And ancestral ties created a band
that lived off nature with impunity.
A man burnt red by a color-blind sun
had a history that preceded him.
And he lived free, subservient to none
before the white man arrived on a whim.
A spiritual man he turned to God
with no immunity to the white plague.
And finding himself homeless and outlawed
his traditions and customs became vague.
His beliefs upgraded from balderdash,
like a phoenix, he rises from the ash.
(Sonnet)
Nov. 21, 2018
TRIBUTE TO NATIVE CULTURE Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Line Gauthier
Balderdash and buttonholes
Are they wearing real mink stoles?
Reminds me of the days of trolls.
As I say this my eye rolls.
My silly side lives in the drolls.
Are those horses with their foals?
Where are the sanitary bowls?
Balderdash and buttonholes
This poem has grown a nose that rolls.
"balderdash"
there once was a man named Lear
it can be said it can't be quite clear
if none of the nonsense he wrote
would in a pea-green boat float
but he wasn't King or Norman
that's q*eer
They don’t give a monkeys
You’ve read what they’ve said
These flunkeys are off their head
Braggadocio pinocchio junkies
Baz cronies nutter baloney utter
Phoney show ponies in the gutter
Stutter one more flutter then splutter
Aussies like a knife through butter
The death of a nation..us all pining for Bazball’s fine dining/opining alright whining degustation;
Amuse bouche (louche with a bag of douche);
Golly gosh Hogwash
Humpty Dumpty Numpty
Total scrotal Tosh
To start (brain fart);
Fish have another swish
Trumpet Bazball strumpet crumpet
Dish of death wish Gibberish
To cleanse the palette (God dammit);
Far too mellow sickly sweet lemoncello
Take a mallet to the Bazball planet (grief aperitif & digestif)
Entree (naysay it's okay.. the way we play come what may every bloody day);
Ruddy veteran fuddy duddy buddies bash
Splash of rash & brash
Off stump chump slump rump
Dash..lash then crash
Flash Balderdash hash
Desert ( just desserts)
Teasing wheezing ego pleasing Trollop
Dollop of Codswallop
With a twist of narcissist mist (you get the gist)
Cheese board (traditions ignored)
Aussie gloat aged goat
Camembert despair
Double header immature cheddar
Out fought and out thought Roquefort
(served with they're crackers and in a bit of a pickle)
Petit Fours (flaws encores & guffaws);
Scoop of NincomPOOP
Tasty bit of hasty bullshi*
Peacocks big bolloc*s
Tripe as ripe as our Gripe
You don’t get a coffee because like Test cricket they can’t do it for toffee
when the seven-ten
row's worth a throw of the
rice then the spice may be
loaded with sauce from some
bones rolling slowly up-
hill to a pinhead too
nice not to topple
Steven West's envoy #70 was a
teensy wee stew
eater who'd
vowed never to
wow anyone not
applying a
glands-on ap-
proach to
poaching today's or
any other
dazed whirled
musings on
plopular brick-
ish social ren-
ditions of all
winos who con-
tained extra cracks not a-
vailable on earlier
blurred virgins.
Eight
hundred
indie
fringe godfath-
ers stole thunder from
forty frayed dandies who thought they
were today's trendy
answer to
tonight's tiny fright-
ened finger
toads but in fact were
only dreadnought friends
of the hidden thrifty fudge in-
ferred from a rougher runty third
of the grounded ruddy roundheads
remaining defi-
ant 'til notified not to
be
and
to return to fraught infight-
ing at their always
well funded freehand orgies.
-
Launched
pea-
nuts
take a
long time to
hardly even fake
making a weird bounc-
ing effort
once they
hit
the
glow-
ing showroom
floor.
The
other eighteenth
centurion was rewired to beat whip-
ping cream by trans-
ferring it to one of free flood plain car-
rier amigo acid barriers and then em-
BARK-
ing on his var-
ied
own
creep dis-
cussing raw plans in a goop text where he adds
a spam
and melon
ball twist to a clutch-
ing figurine piece depicting
an angle between those sidewind-
ers required for
hooking spouts
with ambiguous traces of lawful fake
muse bots
spread-
ing
gas unrest using automated pest practices
that
put real intel-
ligence to sleep behind the Wheel of Miss
Fortune's even
grey-
er and darker than usual
Legion of Heavy Petting Metal Maniacs.
fast
knight shady resurrection is implied in
first time hear-
ing sound chase hounds a-
round besotted worlds on a string-
y
free and translucent branded horse
high pendejo
#1
nine red-violet
idols intervened to
deliver an enliveningly
violent diversion for
our toney tender loins
#2
no fewer than
four woeful felon were-
wolf loungers re-
newed growling aboard their
newly tainted yellow-green and
grunge-splattered gurneys
#3
for blue-mean burgeoning
golf states the
best way to retool blonder
hair shaft maintenance is
through nebulous
globalization combined with
the further whirled onset of
bald faced lies