Best Abner Poems

Lil Abner

There was never a feature in all the world,
Like "Lil Abner" for chasing the blues,
It takes this romantic comic strip,
To really make the news!

I'm...

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For forty-three years Lil Abner ignored the voluptuous Daisy Mae
In Al Capp’s comic strip about the good folks of Dogpatch USA
I remember as a child...

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Oh… how I miss that time! With it’s Saturday morning cartoons.
Not to mention, daily comics stolen from Papa’s newspaper, too!
Saturday was way better! With Snoopie,...

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When the Boss Says, “See me”

By Elton Camp

Abner eyed the sticky note on his report with unease
In twenty years with the firm, hadn’t seen one...

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...The devil didn’t hide, he strutted right out,
a smile painted on his red face.
“Why my dear sheriff, how in the world
Did you ever find my...

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In eighteen hundred ninety-three,
back in those silver-mining days,
a figure walked into Aspen town,
and it was the devil they say,
come looking for new souls to take.

He...

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That stuff we slurp up like there's no tomorrow
Is called “Kickapoo Joy Juice” a name I borrowed
From Al Capp's Li'l Abner
A strip from another era
For...

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David gat himself up and wives,
And did in transportation thrive.
That the philistines had governed,
Isreal,Hebron,and all urban.
Then he entreated God for his land,
And the Lord was...

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After moments she shook her head,
then moved over to the brick hearth,
a strew cooked over glowing coals,
she threw more spuds in for her part.

Then came...

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...Emmet just sat down on a bench,
And gratefully took his boots off,
Just stretched himself out there to rest,
for the moment it was enough.

The woman seemed...

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Opening Day with a Little Delay

Take me out to the ball game
 Of balls and strikes - bloopers and perfect games; 
 Basket catches, ERA’S,...

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...Emmet would converse with Sophie,
pretend he was a normal man,
while April and Abner slipped away…
young infatuation was grand.

And after their third time out there
April and...

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Dogpatch
Daisy Mae
Little Abner
T. Cornpone USA
Al Capp...

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...Though in closing, it must be said
they did not remain there for long.
A damned Yankee wed to a Reb?
The locals all declared it wrong.

Like many...

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His name was Emmet Patterson,
and back in 1863,
he led a cavalry unit
patrolling deep in Tennessee.

The state was firm in Union hands,
Tte Civil War in its...

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