There are strange noises happening in my apartment. Voices groaning in pain, and crying in anguishing angst. I called the police, as I just thought my depression is talking in hallucination.
The police arrived in time.
I told him about the experience.
“There is nothing we can do to help you. I am not hearing any voices!”
He was looking around.
And I was still hearing the voices. Supplication within. Supplication without.
Supplication in an area claiming to be in the indigenous area. The different “INDIANS” than brown-colored Asian Indians.
And this is Death bed. I am selfish to own only me, there. And this is not an emotional blackmail. Not to you, not to them.
I am none other than just another among a mass, among a crowd, staring at life.
Poetry. Lullaby.
Whatever.
I suggest, no, implore, spare me your disgust
When I am being my self … my imperfect self,
For even the finest iron has been known to rust
When exposed to the elements it must adjust
Like the perturbed perfectionist beside himself
I suggest, no, implore, spare me your disgust.
For some elements, unlike iron, will combust,
Perhaps when aggravated, not left on a shelf
For even the finest iron has been known to rust.
Your disgust signifies to me your utter distrust
Like some oft-abused, imaginary, holiday elf
I suggest, no, implore, spare me your disgust.
Is it that you covet some talent? If you must,
I have none … not even a meagre stash of pelf
For even the finest iron has been known to rust.
I feel the anguishing pangs of unrequited lust
While seeking metaphors alone by myself;
I suggest, no, implore, spare me your disgust
For even the finest iron has been known to rust.
written February 8, 2022
Oh, why must I wear this uncomfortable mask,
when entering stores, or working at my desk?
Don't listen to erratic idiots or irrational fools:
think about your health, do the right thing always;
if death dealt with our reality so frightening and changeless:
whom do you think would win this race of treacherousness?
Death is not a benefactor of mercy kindling life with spoils,
it steals all we possess, all we hide leaving anguishing tears;
so take down all the white flags for an armistice not allowed,
who committed heinous acts will surrender to a myth so dowsed...
where other graves have been covered with damp and black dirt,
watch helpless mothers weep to seek a pity that diminishes all hurt!
Oh, why must I wear this uncomfortable mask
to please politicians who justify their mandate?
Let's not bump into the rageful mouths that reject this hard task,
they may lynch us, or even hurt us if police aren't watching us;
this is a dilemma for many not wearing it to claim all freedoms:
is there any freedom left, not obeying the Law that keeps us safe?
,
She cried her heart out in the shower this morning
Desperate, anguishing tears
Uncontrollable, convulsing sobs
Anxiety within was strangling her
Clenching and crippling
Incarcerating her into a frozen-like state
All the while
No one heard her cries
No one shared her suffering
No one knew how defeated she felt
How crumpled her courage was
How convoluted her coping skills had become
How much it was consuming her
Porcelain contours cradled her body as she wailed
Powerlessly...
Fearfully...
and...
Alone
July 25, 2021
Sealed by love’s fidelity to be forever sweethearts
Upheld as one flesh midst caring bond to the utmost
Never outgrowing honeymoon’s sweetness-nurture
Flourishing while blooming in passionate “I do” fulfilment---
Liberated hearts vanquish selfishness languishing
Optimizing warm togetherness around truth-mercy orb
Well-watered against ennui weariness and apathy-wilting
Ecstatically delighting each other sweetly with earnestness
Rejoicing* now in God's bliss, Dad and Mom’s radiance
Shines, while to me and siblings, their romance serenely stays.
*Philippians 1:26 That your rejoicing may be more abundant in Jesus Christ for me by my coming to you again.
May 25, 2021
2nd place, "Sunflower" Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Malabika Ray Choudhury; judged on 5/31/2021.
She smiled shyly up at the sunlight
Unleashing her unbridled passion
Nodding naively at Daystar bright
Flaming in fascinated fashion
Languishing in lustrous love's lost plight
Overwhelmed by Sol's pure compassion
Withering without His warming sight
Enjoying endless satisfaction
Romancing with welkin's regal knight
05.24.2021
9 syllables per line
{Love of the sunflower for the sun}
For Malabika's "Sunflower" contest
Languishing within seed was a gigantic tree,
interned through genetic code by the almighty,
furtive, stay buried, to withstand time’s vagary,
ever can human tasks equal this mystery?
streams of ants, leaf flags,will not pause till job done!
Moon shines bright and white, travels over dark night sky,
year recounts seasons as earth spins around the Sun,
streaks of lights like meteors, stop! admire! firefly!
tiny pollens make fruits, invite bees with nectar!
eggs with flimsy shells! but withstand a heavy storm!
rivers hold million lives, flowing miles, mountains far,
innumerable are these wonders out us to charm!
each of us like specks of dust in this universe,
souls unseen tied to God, creation so diverse!
2nd placement
written 05/Dec/ 2020
reformatted to 12 syllables for the contest! 12/12/2020
Life’s Mysteries acrostic poetry contest
John Hamilton sponsored
14 lines with abab, cdcd, efef, gg 12 syllables each line!
Languishing within seed was a gigantic tree,
interned through genetic code by the almighty,
furtive, stay buried, to withstand time’s vagary,
ever can human tasks equal this mystery?
streams of ants, leaf flags,will not pause till job done!
Moon shines bright and white, travels over dark night sky,
year recounts seasons, as earth spins around the Sun,
streaks of lights like meteors, stop! admire! firefly!
tiny pollens make fruits, invite bees with nectar!
eggs with flimsy shells! but withstand a heavy storm!
rivers hold million lives, flowing miles, mountains far,
innumerable are these wonders out us to charm!
each of us like specks of dust in this universe,
souls unseen tied to God, creation so diverse!
2nd placement
written 05/Dec/ 2020
reformatted to 12 syllables per line for the contest! 12/12/2020
Life’s Mysteries acrostic poetry contest
John Hamilton sponsored
14 lines with abab, cdcd, efef, gg 12 syllables each line!
Evil deeds now seen,
cast deep underground.
Anguishing screams,
now heard all around.
Lament doth bring,
more shame to behold.
Thou shalt not kill,
beware of what's been told.
Many will judge,
and make lite of their sin.
But God knows all,
he can see where you've been.
You cannot hide,
nor can you deceive.
It will make no difference,
in what you believe.
Love thy children,
sin against them do not.
For if you do,
you've already been caught.
There's one special place,
set aside for evil's desire.
Eternal damnation,
the endless hellfire.
P-arading at ceremonies, protecting and preventing conflicts and violence
O-fficiating official outings and offering guides and shields
L-anguishing your own at any point of call
I-nvestigating initials of the inevitable crimes and dooms
C-onfident to move to meet flaming fuse and fights
E-xpectations too huge to meet …’where were the police?’
C-rimes deter your presence in humility and respect
O-bvious are the dangers you put yourself in
R-estoring peace in spite of dehumanizing talks and comments
P-rincipled to practice in even peculiar situations
S-ervice which is life’s sacrifice for a nation
He cheers my weary soul,
As a mother encourages her young.
When I’m so sad and alone…
He always lets me know He is with me,
Embracing me with His gentle touch.
He lifts my anguishing heart,
Like sunlight caresses the dawn.
If I feel discouraged, like giving up…
He whispers reassurance into my ear,
Relating how He is ever so near.
He inspires my shattered spirit,
As rain quenches the thirsty flower.
When I’m without any hope…
He lights the darkest of night,
Easing my worries with His insight.
He gives me abundantly of His love,
Like the stars twinkling in the sky.
If I fail to understand in the moment…
He guides me with His truth,
Creating grace that saves me to the utmost.
He prepares me to offer up praise,
As the angels sing in the heavens.
When I’m not sure of what to pray…
He sends keys to my thankfulness,
Provided by so many sweet blessings.
Goodbye my never lover
Wasn't meant to be
Both on different journeys
You'll never be with me
I wish I got to touch you
That inviting, tawny skin
Discover every inch of you
Every crevice, every limb
I wish I got to kiss you
Feel your mouth on mine
Know how it is to taste you
Oh the pleasure I would find
I wish I felt your hands on me
Wish I knew your touch
Is it gentle or demanding.
Would you need me just as much?
You don't know how bad I want you
The desire is so strong
Overwhelming and consuming
Anguishing and wrong
I cannot take the torture
Just cant stand the pain
Everytime I look at you
It all comes back again
So I have to leave now
I need to say goodbye
I'll make up some silly reason
I could never tell you why
So farewell my never lover
Time to go away
I will deeply miss you
But it's better off this way
B eautiful balmy afternoons beneath a breezy sky
E namored enchantment of exquisite extravagance
A cross abstract patterns of audacious affinity
U nique and unfathomable ultramarine highlights
T antalizing the temperamental ticklish temptress
I ntimidating intrepid and intoxicating
F inespun fiery potpourri of flamboyant foliage
U nveiling ulterior unfamiliarities
L anguishing a luxuriously lavish love affair
F emme Fatale forever fickle frivolous facetious
A utumn's audaciously awestruck amorous arousal
L amenting the loss of loveliest luminous layers
L iberating legendary lethargic lullabies
AP: 1st place 2022, 2nd place 2022, Honorable Mention 2020
Submitted on September 8, 2018 for contest BEAUTIFUL FALL sponsored by JOHN HAMILTON - RANKED 5TH
Night's dull dark imbued with horrid angst
Its coldness biting the clenched skin
Seas and oceans as silent as a feather floating in the wind
Trees sway grotesquely; impenetrable ghosts
Wind whistling spookily across the obfuscated world
Earth munching against the feet with muffled softness
Voices muzzled into sour silence
Men caged into drawn bounds
Livid lions jangle outside nations
But with time, with sure time
Darling dawn draws sanguinely to us
The eastern edges smile with yellow streaks
Dull dark's thawed like snow in summerday
The horrible night surrenders all that it grabbed
A ray of sunshine painted all over the faces
Oh! Shan't lament more in the anguishing dark-
For 'morrow t'shall rise!
Passion, when did you deliver/ when i met you
the hammer upon this hungry anvil --> knock,
knock --> knocking! Kiss, hand in that hungry
lip-lock angry lip wanting passion! ---->the
road up to the river was empty until we arrived||
Bridge. Fog. Music and smoke from a
lit cigarette and hips thrusted into the
imagination of darkness from night time
stories . the wet shore of anguishing
waves spoke: we can be together -- only
you, only me.
the CITY NIGHTS
LAUGHING
WAITING FOR NO ONE
AND IN WATER, IN HIPS,
UNTIL NIGHT SEEPS INTO MEMORIES
ESCAPING DAY.
:: 09-08-2017 ::
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