When I wed sweet Raylene, her hair was pure gold,
And she was the prettiest thirteen-year-old.
But now she's a plump as a pickerel frog,
'Cos she's had more babies than BillyBob's hog.
Chorus
Oh, Raylene's a mommy agin,
Yeah, Raylene's a mommy agin,
Now what in tarnation
Goes down on vacation?
'Cos Raylene's a mommy agin.
When August comes callin', it's pack up and head
To a shack on Blue Bayou, where the catfish are red.
November, and she's in the family way,
And regler as clockwork, it pops out in May.
Chorus
Our trailer is bustin' apart at the seams.
We've got enough kids for four volleyball teams.
We cain't have no more. You can bet your last dime,
I'm taking Raylene on vacation next time.
Chorus
My stomach is aching for a place I've yet to've been
And when I find it, I'll be home again
I have been lost in a forest, trees made of skin
And fake smiling faces I'm agin
I am going to find myself a home
As for houses: it's all I've known
The lattice work inside my dome
Is screaming for a place to roam
I am going to escape, one day maybe soon
Wade myself into the water until my elbows prune
Find fish underneath the full moon
Break myself free from this rotting cocoon
When yins ye lou are taken awa ,
forever gang intae eternity,
ne,er will ye see them agin,
as eternity is far frae hame.
aye maybes yell see them float by,
in a clear day o sky,
ye can talk tae them when ist yer wont,
but ne,er will ye gain a reply or song,
the kirk it says yell get tae heaven,
where ere yon maybe hidden in cloods,
beyond yer sicht an hid frae hubble ,
an its freends o similar clout.
Oh me freends Eternity is an awfy lang time,
weel beyond oor een an sicht o mine,
aye this life is unfair tae cause sic pain an despair,
tae brek oor herts in a thoosand dauds,
must be workings o hertless gauds.
sae gaither in yer airms yer kith an kin,
tae ignore them aa wid be a sin.
Lou them dearly beyond compare,
dinae mak their hert sair.
Tae hae them leave withoot yer blessing,
wid be tae lose them fur ever mair.
Mak yer peace wi them at war,
offer understauning nae matter
how faur ye hae to travel.
APM 25/01/2024
When waking up feels just as hard as trying to sleep you wonder where the irony is
Maybe if you could think straight you would see it
But the lack of sleep keeps the full colours of life at bay
A monotone world like an old black and white movie… but they’re seen as romantic right
If only this could feel that way
Instead it is a daily struggle between thoughts you should be having and those that just love to be there
No benefit at all; just a dull nagging
You’d think with all the hours you’re awake you might be able to be productive
Maybe that’s the irony agin.
What happens when your waking world turns to sleep
Like a snowflake trying to make it to ground in a hurricane
A constant battle against losing, knowing the inevitability of what’s to come
Tired of being awake but exhausted with the effort of trying to fall asleep
Tak oor grund from beneath oor hurdies
Burn oor birches aside the lough,
Besmirch hard fecht fur freedom,
Dictating oor days tae come,
No from the pint o a gun,
Fae laws an promises broken.
Lees an lees spout forth like watter
Lives expended as if they dinnae matter,
Feel the Jacobite spirit again,
Ready tae fecht like scotsmen again,
Like warrior poets risen from the glen,
Fae the mists o the past remember,
Oor freedom wis wun sending Edward hame,
Yon wis the past a new war begun noo,
No wi claymores ,targes an guns,
This time its ideals an Eton buffers,
Those who wid sell oor birthrights
Tae mak us slaves an servile peasants,
Using stealth ,treachery an unco ither weys
Rogues they be crooks ,cheats and thieves
Seeming beyond reproach wi things hidden
Frae us puir mortals aye they wull dae us doon,
Sic a time as this tae fecht fur whit is oors
Naw mair begging fur aa few scraps
Fae a table fu wi guid things ,
Scraps urny fur us we ur free loons
Burthit free an deeing we wull be free,
Ur ye ready tae rise yince agin?
Andrew P mcintyre 14/09/2020
I was out riding the fences one day
and spied these here suits and their fancy car
They said they was from some oil company
and started cutting their way through the wire
Well I says whoa down a bit young fellas
I proceeded with my best daunting stare
There's a reason that no trespassing sign
has been hung up on that post over there
This suit says "Well old timer I don't care"
cause a blind man should be able to see
That all of them no trespassing signs there
just do not apply to my friends and me
Besides, how you think you're gonna stop us
that sign sure won't keep me from coming in
I told him the odds was in my favor
cause was the four of us against just them
Well that dude puffed out and chuckled a bit
looks more like there's one old man agin three
I said you want to take another look
there's Smith and Wesson, Remington and me
Well I put a friendly shot in the air
and them boys jumped into their car and fled
I’m sure their ride home didn’t smell too good
after I shot once more over their head
peter marks, rhymes with sharks, warns the people
To be sharp.? Your life he wishes I note to save.?
He advocates 'a new stab' in three months its to be
Made.? I thought in the (dark winter) exerscise Col
James Bush implied in 2007 that process was live.?
Maybe i'm wrong.?? But lets move along; to the latest
Jingle sound-byte or song.' Dear old Dolly Parton put
One out, quite stab positive, that I don't doubt I
Wonder did she charge a fee.? Or was her service only
Free, yet move along..Its a fast paced time, kinetic
Screens and 5g tuning fine..its all about our health we
Hear, self preservation and promoting fear.' Is that a
Good way to keep us fit.? Just listen to the narrative ?
I don't see bulliten boards, agin rolled out those 1940s
Innovations sticks and suits, a politicans roundabout '
Such a sideshow..Aimed i think at the over 60s if we
Stop to think ww2 spirit was invoked I hope the planners
Curl up and choke.' With these as friends we struggled on
With their (well-wishes) lectures advice quite wrong?
Well here we are, society split..Or divided as I call it.!
Such easy prey..? I pray to God its not the case maybe
I'm just odd.?
Paul Cezanne wasa little obsessed
perhaps a consequence of stress
Painting Mont St Victoire agin&again
as a wy of releasing artistic pain
As precious as gold
Your bronze skin shimmers beneath the crystal lights
Too many nights I have longed
To again inhale your sweet bouquet
Where have you been?
The fragrant marrow flows past those gathered to steal just
One glance at you
I inhale deeply, igniting memories of our past
You lay waiting
Your golden skin concealed beneath the alabaster blanket
Just as this night, I once inhaled your toxins
I longed to feel your golden flesh
To taste your moistness
To hear those three words spoken
Sung one more time
Where have you been?
I have waited too long
I spy the one who has brought you here tonight
He stands, speaking meaningless words
They have come for you
Not his pointless pondering
I have come for you
To hear those three words
Sung one more time
I see what others cannot
I know your skin trembles in anticipation
Two united once agin
The crystal lights dance, reflected in the cold steel
Held in his calloused hand
With lightning speed-
The razor-sharp edge comes down
Slicing through your beauty
The amber fluids flow past my eyes
And then, at last, they come
Just three words...
"Pass the gravy"
We never knew
we kinda tthought it
strange
somethings rearranged
something is
completely different
never mind the way
I wanna try and say
there is something
different
between me and you
everytime we kiss
Everytime we Kiss
Everytime we Kiss
I just want somemore
what inspired this
The moment we kissed
What inspires this
I just want some more
Let's sing it again
make a beautiful melody
let's sing it agin
love our way through
let kiss again
I liked it the first time
let me stop and say
Let's do it again
It's spike's
it's the green that may come alive
it's a cool 20 outside
maybe are you up too or no
or stde down (a little rung up today tomorro and the next like a rest, nap and a sleep all put toghthter in one ) ( non denom ) today tommorro and the next will be a little rung up
like a rest nap and a sleep all put toghther in one
sec non denom a walk 4 satanizm
trick sided and looked at by not many but maybe a few ( some )
bewildered flustered and agin may be concerned shot story in the
wrong catagory
Sing tae me the auld sangs that ah learnt when a bairn,
Sitting at ma mithers knee hearin the lilting tunes,
Carrying me far awa in ma mind
Wurds o the land whaur ah live
An love aw the deys o ma life.
The auld sangs o Caledonia uv heroes ,fermers an unco ithers,
Auld yins wi tales tae tell o plooghmen wi ther hoarses
Running trecks in the fields
Ready fur seed hoping tae grow,
Berley,oats and wheat an aw.
O shepherds an ther dugs so clever an quick,
Chasing the yowes ower hill an glen,
Hardy people wummin an men,
Oot in a wethers hail,rain ur sna,
Lookin fur the yin that’s lost.
Auld sangs bring memories back pintin the wey tae gaw,
Daw we daur tae learn from them wisdom an aw,
Wi a sigh an a tear in oor een,
At the end o the year wi sentiment seen
Auld sangs agin lustily sung.
Andrew mcintyre 18 lanuary 2021.
fo'give me my suthern dialektic,
us po folk dont take de trash out much down here
Dem rashnul boys shure fixate on dat suthern *ss,
seem not to care 'bout big or small or lad or lass.
De reason fo dis fasinashun seems unclear;
dat’s not da way strait thinkin folk do talk 'round here.
We’d likely vite ya over to our dubble-wide,
but we got backhoes when we need a body hide.
We hates to see ya talkin bad about de Lawd,
we hope ya meet before ya coved up wid sod.
So mebbe lay off all dem jokes 'bout kissing kin,
and we won’t all be sayin, 'bless yo heart' agin.
I don my towerin' torque at a jaunty angle when I prepare my cuisine!
Eat yer heart out, Gordon Ramsey; of all the world's chefs I'm the dean!
I can whip up a delectable repast in a trice from a can of pickled spam!
I've appointed myself the world's greatest chef - that I am, that I am!
Ain't nothin' better'n my ravioli heated from a can of Chef-Boy-Ardee,
Or a tasty frozen pie or cake defrosted in my microwave from Sara Lee!
Why, I can heat up a canned ham quicker'n Emeril Lagasse can utter "bam"!
I'll say it agin, I'm the world's greatest chef - that I am, that I am!
Try my tasty Eggo waffles or pancakes that I forge in my toaster,
Or the magnificent stews that I concoct from Dinty Moore in my roaster!
People rave about my sandwiches of Skippy peanut butter and Smucker's jam!
Are you convinced I'm the world's greatest chef? I think I am, I think I am!
I learned the art of grillin' hot dogs at French culinary ecole Le Cordon Bleu,
And it was there I cultivated my skill fer broilin' burgers on the barbecue!
I invite you to try a bowl of my delicious Campbell's New England clam!
I'll repeat it agin, I'm the world's greatest chef (or at least I think I am)!
O, that I could fly again
on winged feet of youth
The feats that I would dare again
dangerous, in truth...
As I pause to sigh agin
memories dance before my eyes
maidens fair, adventure stirring
whispers vanished, so alluring
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