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It's My Birthday and I'Ll Cry If I Want To - Emotive Poem

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I visited mum today as I do almost every day She greeted me with open arms And then says ‘I didn’t think you’d come ... I thought you had fallen out with me’ Yet Yesterday everything was fine and it was fine the day before and the day before that ‘oh it must have been one of my hallucinations’ she says Then she happily takes my arm as we walk slowly to her room We then take turns playing memory games A B C of places, boys names, girls names, countries, towns and cities, fruit and vegetables, birds and animals, occupations In fact any subject I can think of to keep her brain active Then suddenly ... she jumps from D to J and has gone back to the previous category I take her hand and gently remind her what comes next then we continue to play quite normally The time comes for me to leave I kiss her goodbye I say 'see you tomorrow' ... and with that I leave As I walk home I am not conscious that I am crying But ... I am aware of my tears which drip down onto my coat - Thank goodness it’s waterproof! Over the last five visits When I’ve left mum’s room My tears have fallen I guess I am grieving... not because she has died but because bit by bit, ever so gradually her memory is slipping away therefore I am losing my mum as she once was Today is my birthday I could not stem the flow of tears 25th January 2020

Copyright © | Year Posted 2020




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Date: 2/16/2020 10:30:00 AM
Jan, I'm not going to say this is a beautifully written sad poem, though it is. I'm not going to say it deeply touches me, though it does. And I'm not going to tell you of the hand I held, the same that fed and clothed me, with eyes that no longer recognized me, though they surely didn't. I just can't find the words. -Richard
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Date: 2/16/2020 8:59:00 AM
Happy belated birthday Jan…Love your writing.
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Date: 1/28/2020 11:17:00 AM
Such a beautiful and touching poem, Jan!! We know what old age brings along with it, but acceptance is not always easy to digest. ~ Congratulations on a very much deserved POTD....and belated happy birthday. Hugs // paul
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Date: 1/28/2020 1:30:00 AM
Oh, dear Jan! Your unconditional love for your mum is a tribute to the wonderful job of mothering she did. You are her guardian angel... bless your compassionate heart. Many here know what this is like to go through, you are not alone. Happy belated birthday and our tears and hugs are with you ~ John
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Date: 1/27/2020 11:32:00 AM
This is truthfully a powerful poem that has touched every emotion I have ever had.
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Date: 1/27/2020 8:43:00 AM
Wow, Jan. This is so beautiful. Sad in it's way but simply wonderful. I love this. Happy Belated Birthday! Congrats on POTD! Hugs // Charlie xx
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Date: 1/27/2020 12:31:00 AM
Memories pop up in time of joy and grief and we remember again and again what we lost.. what we missed.. what was sweet and now painful.. so touching is the flow of your feelings and memories! So aching the loss of a precious mother! Happy birthday, Jan! Congratulations on your POTD honour! My warmest regards and blessings.
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Date: 1/26/2020 11:49:00 PM
Jan, your poem is so sad, I understand how you feel, I felt my grandma slipping away from me too exactly like you describe in your poem, until she did not even know my name (but she still liked me a lot) so sorry for your pain, wish I could hug you, congratulations on your POTD _Constance
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Date: 1/26/2020 9:35:00 PM
Jan, our own experiences are reflected in your heartfelt poem. Thank you for the gift. A Fav for me. Congratulations on your well-deserved Poem of the Day. ~Mark
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Date: 1/26/2020 7:59:00 PM
Not much is tougher than watching one's mum go downhill. Here's to the gentlest landing possible, Jan. Warmest wishes, Gershon
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Date: 1/26/2020 5:10:00 PM
Beautifully written Jan......I can feel the emotions through your words. Memory loss is like dying little by little. Sorry you are going through this. Congrats on your POTD and Happy belated Birthday. Big Hugs
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Date: 1/26/2020 1:46:00 PM
Wonderful poem my friend. Worthy of high praise. A difficult situation for many people. Have a great day.
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Date: 1/26/2020 11:42:00 AM
tears run reading this piece, sorry you have to go through this, but as long as her memory lives you are the loved one that she clings to the end. You are the one she remembers you are the one she loves. My prayers and love are with you through these hard times and you are doing the right thing to many stops going to see their parents. Congratulations on POTD. Hugs Eve
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Date: 1/26/2020 11:24:00 AM
This is lovely and melancholy, Jan ... just wonderfully heart-wrenching. As you know I just lost my dad, but he left us long ago ... I just saw this movie with Colin Firth and Jim Broadbent called "And When Did You Last See Your Father?" which addresses the same thing, and I tried to remember when the last time that Dad had been here was, as his COMPLETE self, and I couldn't remember, that's how long. Dementia is horrible, and my heart is WITH you, Dear Poet - I KNOW your pain. Much love to you.
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Gregory Richard Barden
Date: 1/26/2020 11:26:00 AM
(OMG - I just went to post this and the captcha code was "SAD" ... I took a photo cuz no one will believe me when I tell them. There have been MANY such strange things happen since Dad left, like he's reaching ... I dunno. Wow.)
Date: 1/26/2020 10:18:00 AM
Truly sad poem, but beautifully expressed. Congratulations on P.O.T.D. and Happy Birthday too hugs
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Date: 1/26/2020 10:17:00 AM
What a tender, touching, tribute to your mom. I lost my mother in 1973. You never get over it. Take comfort that she gave you a birthday.
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Date: 1/26/2020 9:30:00 AM
Jan, congratulations on POTD, a well deserved honor with your well expressed heartfelt poem! hugs
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Date: 1/26/2020 9:25:00 AM
Very touching Jan, and something I can relate to. Most deserving of POTD.
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Date: 1/26/2020 8:57:00 AM
A heartfelt write Jan, Congrats on POTD
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Date: 1/26/2020 8:00:00 AM
Adding some extra tears to your bucket...Congrats!! on your emotive and heartfelt POTD!! Jan...all my love & hugs from the Wingster...^WW^ :o)
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Winged Warrior
Date: 1/26/2020 8:02:00 AM
...oh! and HAPPY! BIRTHDAY!...how old or young are you now lol :o)
Date: 1/26/2020 7:10:00 AM
Happy Birthday Jan - same date as my dad , are you Aquarius? You have every reason and right to cry , watching a parent slip, or any loved one i s very hard, I understand you 100% of the way, for I have been there. Hugs and love Jenny. Congratulations on a wonderful, yet sad POTD.
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Date: 1/26/2020 6:33:00 AM
Congrats Jan on poem of the day--a heartfelt, touching write--a well deserved recognition.
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Date: 1/26/2020 6:32:00 AM
I thought I commented on this last night...it is so sad Jan when their mind starts to slip. I went through it with my father. Hope your birthday was splendid.
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Date: 1/26/2020 6:07:00 AM
back to say congratulations on your potd :) hugs
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Date: 1/26/2020 5:45:00 AM
Many congratulations Jan on POTD, sending hugs and kindest thoughts Ann xx
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