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I visited mum today as I do almost every day She greeted me with open arms And then says ‘I didn’t think you’d come ... I thought you had fallen out with me’ Yet Yesterday everything was fine and it was fine the day before and the day before that ‘oh it must have been one of my hallucinations’ she says Then she happily takes my arm as we walk slowly to her room We then take turns playing memory games A B C of places, boys names, girls names, countries, towns and cities, fruit and vegetables, birds and animals, occupations In fact any subject I can think of to keep her brain active Then suddenly ... she jumps from D to J and has gone back to the previous category I take her hand and gently remind her what comes next then we continue to play quite normally The time comes for me to leave I kiss her goodbye I say 'see you tomorrow' ... and with that I leave As I walk home I am not conscious that I am crying But ... I am aware of my tears which drip down onto my coat - Thank goodness it’s waterproof! Over the last five visits When I’ve left mum’s room My tears have fallen I guess I am grieving... not because she has died but because bit by bit, ever so gradually her memory is slipping away therefore I am losing my mum as she once was Today is my birthday I could not stem the flow of tears 25th January 2020
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