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Trauma Doesn't Take a Timeout for the Holidays - Debbie Guzzi's Blog

About Debbie Guzzi

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Deborah Guzzi writes full time. Her third book, The Hurricane is available through Prolific Press. https://prolificpress.com/bookstore/prolific-books-c-12/the-hurricane-by-deborah-guzzi-p-151.html Her poetry appears in Allegro, Artificium, Shooter, & The Foxglove Journal in the UK, Subterranean Blue, Existere, The Ekphrastic Review, Scarlet Leaf Review & Subterranean Blue Poetry, Canada - Tincture, Australia - mgv2>publishing, France Cha: Asian Review, China - Vine Leaves Literary Journal, Australia - The Scarlet Leaf Review - Greece, Ribbons, pioneertown, Sounding Review, Bacopa Literary Review, The Aurorean, Liquid Imagination, The Tishman Review, Page & Spine & others in the USA.

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Trauma Doesn't Take a Timeout for the Holidays

Blog Posted:12/2/2017 5:15:00 PM

Dear Friends,

Some of you are asking what my new contest is about? They are unfamiliar with the HASHTAGmetoo movement and it IS a movement.

Image result for define #metoo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmYgdOTPE3w

Above is a video in which Ellen D. explains. You can click skip the ad.

I having been listening to a lot of women who are still in BLAMING THE VICTIM MODE. Some of these women who have personally told me of their abuse [at a very young age] STILL often claim it is the abuser who is being treated badly & without cause because the person with less power was asking for it, was trying to gain leverage on the powerful person by using their sex. They have not accepted that what has happened to them WAS abuse, WAS inappropriate. No one wants to admit they were or are a victim, but that doesn't mean it isn't true it just means they have not faced the trauma yet. These heinous actions don't just start up when a person is an adult, they begin with birth. Ask a policeman, most sexually victimized people are accosted by FAMILY or the FRIENDS of family and as a powerless child they watch as NOTHING is done about it.

Use this writing exercise to release-I admit it has happened to METOO and more than one before the age of 18. Let it OUT - the pen IS a mighty sword.

WRITE

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Sara
Kendrick

Date: 1/9/2018 9:16:00 AM

It is sad that abuse of all kinds still happens and that some people(male and female) want to blame the person abused and not the abuser..Sara

Debbie
Guzzi

Date: 12/5/2017 8:09:00 PM

Maureen & Agnes, to comment on a verse or not is always your choice. You could simply say - I hear you & I feel your pain. Both of you thanks so much for your input!

Debbie
Guzzi

Date: 12/4/2017 7:59:00 PM

Thanks for the input Eileen & Craig I'm sorry you had to go through what you did. Did you feel you could say anything without recourse to those who offended you?

Craig Cornish
Date: 12/5/2017 4:04:00 PM

Hi Deb, I could NEVER compare my experiences with those of a female, mostly because I could defend myself if it was to be forced upon me. If anyone says "NO" and that is respected!? But no one should have to start the conversation from a "pants down" perspective--that is insulting beyond the pale. Personally I told him to get lost and moved on. Sexual attraction is such a pervasive subject both mentally and physically. I have been offended by much bravado (too much) on the male side with both locker room talk and actual "victories", with married and single, and they sickened me on every occasion. I respect privacy far too much to cheer their despicable bravado---never have, never will. Take care

Eileen
Manassian

Date: 12/4/2017 12:20:00 AM

Yes, I know of #metoo, but I watched the video by Ellen to know more. Feeling that you've been sexually violated, no matter the degree, is devastating. I once had an old man force a kiss on my cheek. He was a stranger. I had asked him for directions. He reached into the car and touched my hair. Even though I could have fought him off, I was in too much shock. I had a good cry about later and was totally disgusted by the whole episode. He knew I was a foreigner so I guess that gave him the bravery to invade my space. I can only imagine the hurt others go through when it's more than just an unasked for kiss. Thanks for posting, Debbie. I don't know if i can take part due to my busy schedule.

Craig Cornish
Date: 12/4/2017 5:40:00 PM

Keith, you trekker you!

Craig Cornish
Date: 12/4/2017 3:11:00 PM

Truth be told, I went out on the town (Boston) with the actor George Hamilton and band members from a club I was a waiter at and slept at his friend's apartment only to wake up to his gay friend standing naked and holding his jewels near my face. I worked in the hair care business for 4 years and know what it is to be "pursued" believe me!! RELENTLESS! I do know much more than most guys about being "the prey".

Craig Cornish
Date: 12/4/2017 2:54:00 PM

Funny (sort of) but I've had my ass patted more times than I can count but those years have passed and I must admit, in a sinister way I sort of miss it because it means I'm older and less desirable. I know, I know, but....BTW, I never did the same, that I can recall--never with a stranger for sure or even a casual acquaintance. All guys tried at some point when dating but that's surely part of "the game". Anyhow, as far as being offended, I've got you, and most, beat in spades #metoo---believe me.

Eileen Manassian
Date: 12/4/2017 2:35:00 PM

No, it wouldn't be Ok if it was uncalled for, not matter what the appearance.

Craig Cornish
Date: 12/4/2017 2:33:00 PM

I was a very attractive younger man and experienced much of the same in the past, even worse--much worse, and might I say, is it wrong to measure our pleasure or distaste by the appearance of the "offender"? What if he was an out of luck and work ex movie star - would it then be okay.

Eileen Manassian
Date: 12/4/2017 2:24:00 PM

Craig...he was the parking attendant. I didn't know him from ADAM. He was toothless, sweaty, and sleezy. There is no reason for him to try to kiss me. I guess you might feel accosted if someone at Target or Walmart all of a sudden touched your hair and shimmied up for a kiss. It's uncalled for. I was just relating a simple incident that bothered me. I didn't join the #metoo because it isn't in any way comparable to what others experience, but it was unpleasant, to say the least.

Agnes Krampe
Date: 12/4/2017 2:05:00 PM

craig, your sarcasm is misplaced in this debate.

Craig Cornish
Date: 12/4/2017 1:20:00 PM

Eileen, glad you were able to "move on" because an old man touched your hair and kissed you on the cheek--I don't think I could ever get over that! You are an amazing person!

Eileen Manassian
Date: 12/4/2017 12:21:00 AM

CONTINUED...but this is a contest that needs to see the light of day. Blessings...

Debbie
Guzzi

Date: 12/3/2017 6:27:00 PM

Yes Andie, tell her to enter my contest. The miss use of power for sexual advantage doesn't have to go as far as rape. Being groped has happened to many who didn't feel they were in a position to say anything about it without getting MORE hurt.

Andrea
Dietrich

Date: 12/3/2017 4:55:00 PM

Rape never happened to me, thank God but the touching, yes, I think it has happened to many of us women.

Andrea
Dietrich

Date: 12/3/2017 4:54:00 PM

Debs can it be simply a retelling of the experience? I have just read a graphic and very good retelling of a rape and I was shocked that even though it won in a contest , not one person had been there to comment on it. I think I'll tell her to enter it in YOUR contest. If you don't mind poems that just talk about the experience itself!

Andrea Dietrich
Date: 12/5/2017 12:03:00 AM

I liked the writing of it, Agnes. That is what I compliment in such cases.

Agnes Krampe
Date: 12/3/2017 8:33:00 PM

I can understand why people might not comment: what can one say that is not a platitude? What can one contribute in the face of such a horrible experience - other than saying I am listening, I am witnessing your pain. Perhaps people are simply at loss for words. It would certainly seem odd to compliment the poem.

Craig
Cornish

Date: 12/3/2017 3:09:00 PM

It is such a shame ... hmm, a double entendre there, because shame is the key word in all of it on both sides over many years and through many ages. We are all guilty in some way and all victims in some way, yes, even a guy's guy, especially one who worked in the beauty business, but then, it gives one an appreciation for the "other" side. None of it is a joke and there are certainly, like anything else, different levels of severity. I've seen with millennials that about 25% consider being asked out for a drink as being harassed. We can sometimes in our zeal to correct sins of the past, lose the true goals we wish to achieve.

Craig Cornish
Date: 12/5/2017 9:21:00 PM

OF COURSE a peeping Tom is a violation of privacy but comparing that to asking someone out for a drink is, yes, talking to a wall.

Debbie Guzzi
Date: 12/5/2017 8:10:00 PM

I am not a wall Craig. There are many forms & levels of harassment not all of them involve touching, what about a peeping Tom? Would you consider that harassment?

Craig Cornish
Date: 12/3/2017 6:56:00 PM

PLEASE Deb---REALLY!! Yes, one could stretch anything into a problem and the key here is---never mind, when one is talking to a wall, there is no hope!

Debbie Guzzi
Date: 12/3/2017 6:30:00 PM

"being asked out for a drink" could be harassment IF it was your boss doing the asking & you were turned down for a raise, say, or a promotion because you wouldn't socialize with them.

Debbie
Guzzi

Date: 12/3/2017 11:08:00 AM

Maureen, we all know how much it hurts to remember, what was done, what we did? what we didn't do? Who cared? Who didn't believe us. Most of my memories only returned after about 50 years BUT I have become so used to repressing them so I can go on in a positive manner - they do slip away again when I can't handle life.

Debbie
Guzzi

Date: 12/3/2017 11:05:00 AM

Andie, I never mind if an old verse is used - revisiting them can often improve them & not everyone read them in the first place. Until recently I did not realize the hash tag on tweeter simply denotes a TOPIC ;) [ the concept was to simple for me LOL]

Maureen
Mcgreavy

Date: 12/3/2017 12:06:00 AM

So well said Debbie. The victim blaming is dumbfounding, and such a huge barrier to change.

Andrea
Dietrich

Date: 12/2/2017 8:24:00 PM

Deb, can we use an oldie. I think I have one on this, but maybe I did not write of it after all! I had an inkling this was what the contest was about, but I am really out of it on the hash tag stuff. Hope it turns out to be a great contest.

Debbie
Guzzi

Date: 12/2/2017 7:48:00 PM

Thank you for your comment Eve! BIG HUGS!

Eve
Roper

Date: 12/2/2017 7:36:00 PM

you are so very right, Debbie, they really don't want to see it...

My Past Blog Posts


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My Recent Poems

Date Posted	PoemTitle	Form	Categories
10/25/2018	Nine-Pins and Tipple	Rhyme	fantasy,sky,
10/2/2018	Pipe Dreams	Free verse	analogy,symbolism,travel,
2/5/2018	In Flagrante Delicto	Free verse	love,
1/2/2018	Less Than Perfect	Haibun	introspection,
7/30/2017	War and Peace	Free verse	age,betrayal,truth,
7/27/2017	Mein Kampf My Struggle	Haibun	anxiety,racism,,atheist,
7/24/2017	Displaced In Kathmandu	Haibun	anxiety,fear,war,,western
6/8/2017	Haiku 1a	Haiku	life,
4/24/2017	Swingin On a Star	Free verse	allusion,art,beauty,
4/9/2017	A Lost Kind Returns	Sonnet	freedom,heartbroken,loss,
3/28/2017	Behind the Architects Crystal Lens	Verse	art,travel,
3/3/2017	Shadow Puppets	Sonnet	humor,
2/14/2017	Daughter of Oak and Ash	Pantoum	caregiving,love,racism,
1/26/2017	The Moons Yellow Eyes	Haibun	evil,farewell,
1/10/2017	High Noon At Karnak	Free verse	history,
9/21/2016	Cairns Edge	Lyric	age,autumn,ocean,
9/10/2016	Prickly Heat	Haibun	lost love,
7/19/2016	Repeter Depuis Le Debut	Free verse	art,marriage,
7/19/2016	It Is a Rose Sprung	Free verse	abuse,meaningful,race,rel
7/8/2016	The Sparrows of Dom St Peter	Verse	children,faith,music,
5/13/2016	Golden Disks and Whale Clicks	Free verse	earth,eulogy,
5/1/2016	Cathedrale St Sauveur Aix En Provence, France	Verse	art,faith,
4/12/2016	Neap Tide	Blank verse	age,beauty,love,
4/2/2016	Red Sky Over Cairo	Free verse	anxiety,fear,travel,
3/31/2016	Monet's Garden	Villanelle	art,travel,vacation,
1/31/2016	A Hail Mary Pass To the Twenty-First Century	Free verse	anger,angst,bullying,fear
1/31/2016	Breathless	Prose Poetry	hope,
1/29/2016	The Guardian At the Gate	Ekphrasis	myth,
1/16/2016	You Gotta Have Heart	Ekphrasis	art,
1/6/2016	Spectors of Doom	Shape	angst,war,
1/5/2016	Blood Masks the Lea	Rondeau	death,war,
1/4/2016	A Swallows Tears	Sonnet	addiction,suicide,
12/14/2015	A Blooded, Virgin, Night	Free verse	pain,
12/5/2015	Madelaine's Chalice	Verse	devotion,love,
11/29/2015	Blessed Be	Verse	nature,
11/29/2015	Ho-Ho-Ho	Haibun	holiday,
11/17/2015	Golden Disks and Whale Clicks	Free verse	space,
11/9/2015	Spare Change	Couplet	seasons,
10/29/2015	Cymbals of Winter	Free verse	urban,wind,winter,
10/28/2015	Death Undignified, Fort Laramie 1860	Sestina	memory,
10/27/2015	A Kneaded Life	Haibun	age,dream,love,
10/23/2015	The Sowing	Free verse	irony,violence,women,
10/21/2015	When Madness Rides On Moonlight	Sestina	anxiety,art,depression,su
10/19/2015	St Brigids Well	Sonnet	children,spiritual,women,
10/12/2015	Gobsmacked Gams	Terzanelle	allegory,art,childhood,
10/12/2015	To Dumb To Lay Down	Free verse	allegory,
9/20/2015	Verbous and Obscure	Blitz	allusion,
9/11/2015	Put the Past Aside - the Dark Side of the Moon	Verse	depression,
8/23/2015	The Melting Pot	Prose	childhood,
8/8/2015	Howl Beyond Reason	Blitz	analogy,crazy,word play,
8/7/2015	Under and Over	Blitz	fear,universe,
8/5/2015	Vive La Liberte	Free verse	violence,visionary,war,
8/3/2015	Underground Art Montmartre	Free verse	art,
7/23/2015	Maudlin Mary	Ekphrasis	allusion,symbolism,woman,
7/20/2015	Fire-Crackers	Acrostic	death,war,
7/20/2015	Mary's Shrift	Free verse	devotion,discrimination,
7/20/2015	Stoned	Free verse	anger,,literature,
7/20/2015	Top Dressing	Free verse	spring,daffodils,
7/13/2015	Just Desserts and Appetizers	Haibun	boat,fun,summer,
7/7/2015	Brooding Rooted	Free verse	beauty,blessing,
6/26/2015	Summer Stews	Sijo	fun,
6/19/2015	False Love	Quintain (English)	lost love,
6/14/2015	Risen From the Foam	Ottava rima	allegory,beauty,love,
6/4/2015	Cling	Sijo	adventure,
5/14/2015	The Mirage	Free verse	beauty,family,
4/29/2015	A Day In the Life of a Bag of Potatoes	Free verse	change,
4/28/2015	Spider Robinson's Plug In	Sijo	addiction,
4/27/2015	The Sandy Shoal	Free verse	death,
4/26/2015	A Stream of Laughter	Free verse	children,nature,
4/25/2015	Boxed In	Free verse	absence,beauty,love,
4/21/2015	Pick Your Poison	Acrostic	abuse,death,
4/20/2015	The Tall Ships Burn	Villanelle	art,
4/19/2015	I, Icon	Acrostic	self,
4/17/2015	The Song of Deborah	Bio	allegory,
4/15/2015	Barred Camp	Sonnet	funny,
4/15/2015	Cross Pollination	Verse	faith,nature,
4/13/2015	The Wayward Child	Pantoum	fairy,
4/12/2015	Straw Men	Free verse	allusion,planet,
4/5/2015	Elemental Answers To Being	Verse	life,
4/3/2015	Mother's Days	Acrostic	mother,
4/2/2015	Sun and Life Painting By Frida Kahlo 1947	Free verse	art,
3/31/2015	Afi 9th Art Wave	Tanka	art,
3/31/2015	Afi Tag Art	Tanka	art,
3/28/2015	Van Gogh Sans Une Oreille	Free verse	art,
3/27/2015	School's Out	Haibun	kiss,snow,
3/21/2015	The Teetotaler	Terzanelle	memory,
3/20/2015	The Sin and God Within	Verse	allusion,faith,forgivenes
3/20/2015	A Penny For My Thoughts	Sonnet	creation,
3/18/2015	What Dreams Are Made Of	Verse	fear,night,
3/15/2015	Steamers	Free verse	summer,
3/10/2015	A Mother Drawn	Free verse	beauty,birth,earth,faith,
3/9/2015	The Precipice	Free verse	art,
3/5/2015	The Score	Free verse	loneliness,night,
3/3/2015	Moonlight Serenade	Haibun	sensual,
3/1/2015	Trumpets of the Dawn	Sonnet	flower,
3/1/2015	Femme Fatales	Ballad	birth,mythology,woman,
2/28/2015	The Doldrums of March	Free verse	loneliness,daffodils,
2/26/2015	Death Tolls	Free verse	beach,beauty,bird,ocean,
2/24/2015	Forgotten Valentine	Haibun	sad,
2/21/2015	Ice Castings	Pantoum	beauty,

My Photos

Fav Poems

PoemTitle	Form	Categories
God	Free verse	life,mystery,
Hard Times	Cowboy Poetry	cowboy-western,family,fun
For Things Once Counted	Rhyme	introspection,loss,uplift
Petal	Verse	love,
Defender of the Wastes	Free verse	art,life,parody,world,
Birth	Imagism	childhood,life
This Is Why I Woo Words	Verse	art,inspirational,philoso
Forbear	Free verse	sad,
Belongings	Rhyme	loss,love,me,mother,
Gold Fever	Free verse	faithfaith,political,pers
Splattered	I do not know?	life
Echo	Quatrain	lost lovewords,love,
Bells (After Poe)	Lyric	passion
Respectfully, Emily Dickinson	Lyric	introspection,
Give the End Back To the Beginning	Free verse	dedication,faithme,
The Bruised and Rotting Pear	Couplet	faith,hope
Fly	Free verse	animals
Abc's For a Young Captain	ABC	life
Not Entirely About Living In New York	Free verse	lifeworld,light,light,
Woodcutter	I do not know?	warold,old,
Dreams	Free verse	faith,forgiveness
A Feed of Chips	Narrative	funny
Weep O Willows	Verse	death
Harlem Blues	Free verse	black-african amerchildre
Summers Everlasting	Free verse	nostalgia
Easter Ivy	Narrative	friendshipeaster,cousin,
End of Days	Rhyme	inspirational,lifeme,war,
Past-Life Nightmare	Narrative	autumn,mystery,
I Dream of You (To Jew)	Free verse	imagination,lovenight,swe
Jellyfish Back Strophe	Imagism	allegory,nature,on writin
Disposable Wisdom	Rhyme	age,cat,endurance,life,wi
Loneliness	Rhyme	introspection,life
Remission (In Memory of William Watt).	Elegy	brother,death,nostalgiawo
The Day That Died Forever	Free verse	adventure,angst,art,confu
Heritage	Quatrain	adventure,cowboy-western,
Summer Matinee	Narrative	brother,me,
The Moon and I	I do not know?	hope,life,love,nature,pea
Seeking, Searching	Free verse	imaginationlove,universe,
Before Spring Came	Narrative	adventure,animals,childho
Pledge	Sonnet	devotion
Wild Cherries	Free verse	devotion,nature,nostalgia
Words From the Oracle	Lay	allegory,philosophy
Science	Free verse
Mona Lisa Resembles	Choka	art
And With Merriest Spirit	Quintain (English)	faith,father,holiday,insp
Cotton-Pickin' Paradise	Verse	childhood,life,nostalgia,
Where the Sycamore Grew	Narrative	autumn,family,house,life,
Larks	Free verse	death,devotion,imaginatio
Big Bang	Limerick	funny,science,
Winter (Do Not Forget Among the Loss of Flowers) Me	Free verse
Let	I do not know?	loveme,me,
He Was Smoking Hot	I do not know?	funny
Alabaster Night	Free verse	nature,planet,sea,
Haunted Orb	Haiku	fantasy,nature
This Night	Sonnet
Tombstones & Teacups	Rhyme	allegory,childhood,death,
Today Not Tomorrow	Free verse	dedication,depression,gir
Years of the Rose	Free verse	lost love,loveday,
The Joy That Sweetly Stays	Free verse
Cinder Girl	Rhyme
Biography (Thesis Statement)	Verse	history,life,philosophyli
Figure Fusion	Verse	art,sports
Dancing Bird - With Video Link	Free verse	animals,introspection,nat
Poem For a Sensuous Poet	Free verse	fantasy,on writing and wo
The Road Walked Down Through the Years	Rhyme	life,on writing and words
The Iceman Cometh!	Rhyme	nostalgia
He Says/ She Says	Narrative	life
I'Ve Seen So Many	Sonnet	introspectionnight,night,
Searching For Michelangelo	Free verse	art,hope,life,people,imag
Indifference	Free verse
Realisation of Self (War Child)	Free verse	me,me,
Reporting Live On the Soup (Colorado)	Rhyme	funnyme,me,,western,
Late At Night	Lyric	imaginationme,fear,me,
Reverencing Nature	Ballad	faith,naturenature,heart,
Dreams	Couplet	imagination
I Exist	Pantoum	introspectionlife,me,
Madrid: Circa 1974	Blank verse	nostalgia,travel,
Magnolia Song	Free verse	love,romance,
Yellow Bus Roars Through	Haiku	allegory,nature,places
Ethel's Remedies	Rhyme	funny,people
A Dream In the Mist	Narrative	fantasy,imagination,natur
Volga 1 - 3	Prose Poetry	fantasy
Mama's Cleaning	Quatrain	introspection,life,mother
Waking Heart's Veins	Free verse	angst,hope,
Revelation	Free verse	imagination,lifesong,long
Sports Limerick	Limerick	funny
The Snowflake	Italian Sonnet	romance,
Jack	Lyric	introspectionlife,
The Ghost That Travels Far	Personification	nature,
Kite Flying - Test	Free verse	allegory,art,imagination,
Dining With Crow	Rhyme	animals
Beauty, Yes	Sijo	hope,imagination,philosop
Smart and Final Prose	Prose Poetry	peoplepeople,red,city,peo
Tiger In the Sea	Rispetto	adventure,animals,seame,t
A Song of Michael's Rose	Narrative	me,
Where My True Love Lives - a Ballade	Ballade	death,love,ocean,
Into Morning	Free verse	life
Play Me a Teardrop	Rhyme	lost loveme,me,
Tickle Trout	Narrative	adventure,food,
The Sweetest Song	Sonnet

Fav Poets

Poet	Country
Carolyn Devonshire	United States	Read
Carrie Richards	United States	Read
Deirdre Omaidin	Ireland	Read
Andrew Crisci	United States	Read
Jim Fish	United States	Read
Nigel Fawcett	Italy	Read
L'Nass Shango	United States	Read
Andrea Dietrich	United States	Read
Robert L. Hinshaw	United States	Read
Nette Onclaud	Philippines	Read
Sidney Beck	Russian Federation	Read
Sammy Shaq	Canada	Read
Charlotte Puddifoot	United Kingdom	Read
Cyndi Macmillan	Canada	Read
T Wignesan	France	Read
Elaine George	Canada	Read
Sharon Winter	United States	Read
Michael Smith	United States	Read
Jack Horne	United Kingdom	Read
Paul Callus	Malta	Read
Charmaine Chircop	Malta	Read
James Marshall Goff	United States	Read
Joann Grisetti	United States	Read
Ravindra K Kapoor	India	Read
Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser	Philippines	Read
Kathryn Collins	United States	Read
Michael Jordan	United States	Read
Constance La France	Canada	Read