6 th Sonnet Crown - Debbie Guzzi's Blog

It is a 7-sonnet sequence in which

the last line  of  each sonnet is repeated in the first line of the  next.

The first line is repeated as the last line  of  the 7th. sonnet;
  These will be MODERN   SONNETS, 14 lines, 10 syllables per line

 abab cdcd efef gg/ I want  flow  but strict meter is not necessary.

REMEMBER big Boy & Girl  Pants On

Everyone who tries will rank, the 7 in the crown will get a first place. 

Stone in the Cold

By Caleb Smith

#1 Caleb Smith
 Through the North's dark I come a stealthy hand
who but a man shadowed could be so bold?
My eyes hunt, take a reckon of the land,
look into the hollows, constant and cold.

My companion's solitude still as stone.
I  am the seeker of winds, and of scent.
By the trees yonder, I wait not alone;
my aim is true, and my purpose unbent.

Yet, death does not bring a smile to my  lips,
 nor a lift unto this wayfaring heart;
 in grief I am fed,  from silence I sip,
 and from the old wood, I shall never part.

Caleb am I, a hunter true, and I pursue
a life that no death can ever undo.

#2 Charles Henderson 

A life that no death can ever undo,
for  there are portals I've yet to find.
Hidden life in the green I wish to pursue,
oh, the secrets of life and death entwine.   

I search and search, I will know no defeat.
Each corner turned will find new paths to tread.
The deer or  the  bear, the fox that I meet
will reveal the secrets of life not death.

So, let the wood talk, hear what it reveals.
Riddle its meanings there to be understood.
The less armor worn, we brandish or wield,
higher truth follows our message of good. 

Come into the woods as in days of youth,
we  still face the test of absolute truth.

 #3 of 3 James Goff

We still face the test of absolute truth,
the nights coming fast, I travel unheard.
The reverence I feel, was born in youth,
tempered by sage, burnt offerings for birds.

Tormented by brambles whose thorns I collect
I come to remains of struggles long gone,
feathers and crushed bone, on these I  reflect.
I'm hoping once more, my arms are still  strong.

A pine marten scurries, close to my step,
the sweet scent of birch gum, his claws unearth.
My arrow's still sheathed, for creeks I have leapt.
though I grow cold, my spirit is rebirths.

Tracks at the creek, the water I savor
the brush moves, my aim must never waver. 

#4 Isaiah Z

The brush moves, my aim must never waver;
with strengthened arms, I bend my bow of yew:
my eyes pierce the  brush, intent to savor
the sights of a good hunt, an arrow true.

The  bracken parts, rattling, empty sighs;
 my draw fingers quake from the constant  chill.
My quarries' breath floats to the clouded sky;
my own breath  muffled as I track my kill.

Overhead, an arrow in deadly arc
speeds  toward the bear I'm seeking, still as stone;
a shadow moves, the arrow strikes its mark.
The hand that looses the shaft is not my own.

I am a man shadowed; death comes knocking:
The hunter hunted; the past comes a stalking.

#5 Roy
The hunter hunted; the past comes stalking
as three men in the high grasses arise
they're enemies all, my skill they mock
they wounded the bear, now they want their prize.

From my quiver I load, I pull, the shaft flies
there's one man down, but two others advance
I round the still bear, turn toward their eyes
buck knife in hand, I fight on in a trance.

My senses heighten, I exult in pain
So crisp is each leaf and each grassy blade.
So fresh the air, and each wet drop of rain.
Three down and the bear wounded in the glade.

Death songs stir memories for this woodland.
Ahead, the bear in sudden motion stands.

#6

Ahead, the bear in sudden motion stands.             

 The CLIMAX needs to be at the END of 5 or BEGINNING of 6

Ok here where we are Caleb [who we have naked with a muffler & a bow  quill & a buck knife -nice look by the way hubba hubba] in the North woods, there are ferns thorns & birch tree deer, bear, fox, pine martins

3 enemies are down [out of the fight for now - sure if they are totally incapacitated, will revive or dead] the bear is wounded [we don't know if it's a mortal wound] It's cold enough to see your breath [so like 32? degrees Fahrenheit] cold, wet. Since Jimbo did burnt offering he has matches - probably in his quiver?

We don't know the time of day but to see shadows it is day. Do you all see how we have MOVED HIM NOWHERE

so from verse 1-5 we had him stand, think, observe, load his bow shoot down 1 man grab his buck knife [I guess he dropped the bow BUT the quiver is still attached to him] fight to incapacitate 2 more mean around the body of a wounded bear & the bear alone REVIVES

What does the naked hunter do now, what time of day is it? He must be freezing? hungry? thirsty? TIRED? and alone in the same spot he started in the North woods. [Apparently he didn't get wounded at all during all this?]

BE VERY SENSORY STAY IN FIRST PERSON PRESENT TENSE

This is not you, it is not your voice [ie the language you use] it is not your morals. Don't say "I would never say that or I would never do that ... if you read Caleb's blog you can get

IN CHARACTER

The is Caleb, the place is simply the woods, the man thinks...thinks.. he is being shadowed night is falling [how does he react to the night coming on when he thinks he is being shadowed?] no mention is made yet of how far from home he is or what his
supplies are, does he have a camp set up? does he have to set a camp up with dark coming on? He's too far in the woods to get home now before full dark. Is there an old hunters cabin or a hunters platform he can go to? where the water? What's he eating? Is he cold? Perhaps there is no shadow perhaps he has a fever mounting?

 [no fantasy or magic, a real person in real time, who hunts to put food on his table not for sport a woodsman who has hunted since he was a child]