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Will you Play with Me - Debbie Guzzi's Blog

About Debbie Guzzi
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Deborah Guzzi writes fulltime. When not writing she’s reading. She travels for inspiration. Her new book The Hurricane is available now through Prolific Press. Her poetry appears in: Existere - Journal of Arts and Literature in Canada, Tincture in Australia, Cha: Asian Literary Review, Hong Kong, China, Eunoia in Singapore, Vine Leaves Literary Journal in Greece, and Ribbons: Tanka Society of America’s Journal, Sounding Review, Kyso Flash, The Aurorean, Crack the Spine Literary Magazine, Liquid Imagination, Concis, The Tishman Review, Page & Spine and others in the USA. 

Will you Play with Me

Blog Posted:1/5/2014 7:54:00 AM
I thought it might be fun for all of us to build a poem together. A perfect form for this would be the RENGA [a thousand year old form]. This is a Japanese form originated as a PARTY GAME. The great poet Matsuo Basho participated in many of these and preferred his RENGAY to have 36 stanzas. [100 -1000 verses were often done.] This form came before haiku & senryu. It combines the best characteristics of both 1) a sense of season and 2) humor.

The RENGAY is written in alternating stanzas of three lines and two lines.

It DOES NOT read like a story.

Each is linked to the one before it BUT NOT the one before that ...

SHOW us your skill at making IMAGES

Show us connections we have never thought of before!

Verse one must contain an image suggesting SEASON & PLACE

{PS I've never done this before maybe Chris has so hopefully he will PIPE :) in?]

Here goes [no strict 5/7/5 but Ok if you must]

frost crystals

creep up the window pane

wet boots

icicles sparkle lighting up

the dark frozen landscape

the rising sun

draws neighbors outside

snow angels

laughter from the back yard

little devils with snow balls

the garden shed's

open door slams shut

stray cat

long purple shadows

stripe the well trod lane

a frill of snow

coils along the lane

craters on the moon

the curve of the white cats

bushy tail rounds the corner

two yellow eyes

stare at the winter moon

coyotes' howl

a shot gun fires

momentarily stilling the night

 a chorus 

calls and responds

 cloud covered moon

mother hollers

for more firewood

landing lights

blink red and white --

wood smoke

the TV voices leak

through the open window

while on the porch

puffs of white rise

grampa's pipe 

 the crow warms on a branch

over the dryers vent

snowbirds take flight 

across a pink sky


a hungry mouse

scurries toward lunch crumbs

unused mittens

Add one in a comment then I will add it here!

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  1. Date: 1/6/2014 9:04:00 PM
    Smart tweak on mine, Deb...pulling personal "your" now cleaner, more traditional (good!) just jimbo

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  1. Date: 1/6/2014 9:28:00 AM
    Thanks Adam, Catie & Jimbo, remember to relate it ONLY to the verse above

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    Hapworth Avatar Adam Hapworth Date: 1/6/2014 9:49:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I think I skipped over Catie.. sorry :)
  1. Date: 1/6/2014 9:00:00 AM
    hungry mouse scurries/ under watchful eye of black/ childs mittens dry

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    Hapworth Avatar Adam Hapworth Date: 1/6/2014 9:03:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    hungry mouse scurries/ watchful black eyes track snack/ childs mittens dry (Just in case I needed to seperate the first two lines)
  1. Date: 1/5/2014 10:16:00 PM
    the crow warms on a branch/ over your dryer vent

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  1. Date: 1/5/2014 7:28:00 PM
    Don't forget the next one's a 2 liner!

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  1. Date: 1/5/2014 4:18:00 PM
    Less is more Roy both call & wail & respond is not all necessary to get the picture- vocabulary wise - drop all your free verse words all your intellectual highbrow vocab [this was SO hard for me] 10% of the senryu is on the page the rest is to appear in the readers mind by inference & sensory suggestion

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    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 1/5/2014 4:43:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    don't get me wrong [that sounded mean/fret] I LOVE my words but these forms as Jack Kerouac put it must " be as simple as porridge and yet make you see the real thing."
  1. Date: 1/5/2014 3:52:00 PM
    two yellow eyes/ stare at the winter moon/ coyotes' howl/ // a chorus of wails/ call and respond/ a cloud occludes the moon

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    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 1/5/2014 4:11:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    yup Roy you got the idea now - to advance further the connect between yours and the one before it the connection needs be possible but more surprising remember we can use senryu types too
  1. Date: 1/5/2014 2:49:00 PM
    Roy we can not tell what you are reffering too each 3 liner or 2 liner must be able to stand on its own as well as refer to only the one above it, I will guess you mean the cat, in the 3 liner, two of the lines must be connected grammatically & you must use sensory images or the next person has nothing concrete to play off of...

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  1. Date: 1/5/2014 1:07:00 PM
    demanding entrance/imperious manners /chilly gratitude

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  1. Date: 1/5/2014 10:57:00 AM
    fibrils of snow/ coil along the lane/ robing frail moon's eyes....

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    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 1/5/2014 2:47:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    since fibril is like monofilament wire/strand maybe frill [like embellishment] would work better & since what appears as the moon's eyes are the craters we can use that and stay subjective
    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 1/5/2014 11:06:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    nette dear please stay objective? use words which give sensory input & are not personifying -- take another whack at it- give me two lines
    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 1/5/2014 11:03:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    what's a fibril?
  1. Date: 1/5/2014 9:49:00 AM
    Thanks Andie everyone remember to ONLY play off the one before you and TRY to show us a connection we haven't seen before!

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  1. Date: 1/5/2014 9:45:00 AM
    a snow ball hits me/ laughter from the next yard/ snow devils (sorry,this is all I could come up with in the moment. Usually I take half an hour trying to come up with something even halfway good as a haiku!)

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  1. Date: 1/5/2014 9:14:00 AM
    thank you Yassie! NEXT? batter batter batter?

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My Past Blog Posts

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