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8/2/2013 8:12:04 AM
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New here
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I posted a couple of poems (posted before I read the 1 limit; my bad) but I don't know where they went or if they have to be reviewed by a mod before they get published. Hope someone can clear this up for me; thx! 
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8/2/2013 8:12:05 AM
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New here
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I posted a couple of poems (posted before I read the 1 limit; my bad) but I don't know where they went or if they have to be reviewed by a mod before they get published. Hope someone can clear this up for me; thx!
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8/19/2013 6:08:47 PM
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Please be forgiving and understanding...
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I am so very sorry I have posted more poems today than I should, but as I explained in an author's note, I have never, and I mean NEVER, found such a wonderful poetry site filled with nice, supportive and encouraging people. I have had terrible experiences on myriad "poetry critique" sites and they have all been BRUTAL; I mean, veritable "Poetic Nazis" that rip you and your work apart. This place is so different; for once, I feel welcomed and appreciated, instead of scrutinized and ridiculed. Please excuse my impulsivity and enthusiasm for this site, and for all you wonderful, supportive people. It means so much to me. Thank you all, and again, please forgive me for posting a little more than I should
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8/19/2013 7:56:28 PM
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I dont want to think about that
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As a fellow and former smoker, I completely identified with your subject matter and the point you are conveying. And, Lord, as a Star Wars fanatic/geek, I adored your Obi-Wan reference. You definitely get extra points from me just for that lol. But, as a whole, your piece needs some polishing up here and there. Try playing around with your wording structure. I liked this piece though, very much so
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8/19/2013 8:08:00 PM
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Lies Lies Lies
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I really liked the first four lines; they were quite strong, but the fifth line doesn't seem to fit for me. Instead of using the word "bait", I think, maybe, the word "chum" might be more poignant ("chum" being the nomenclature for shark bait, I think). And I agree with whomever said the last line is unnecessary, but if you feel it important to include it, I would change it to something like "your lies alone could sink an ocean liner" (using the "Titanic" specifically seems a bit trite to me). But overall, I liked your piece and with just some polishing up, could be even better. Good job and kudos; thanks for the interesting read
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8/19/2013 8:49:16 PM
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Some missing masterpieces!
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Percy Shelley and Poe are two of my favorite poets, and I noticed that in their "famous" section, two of my most beloved poems were not mentioned, and I think they are two of the best poems ever written. You MUST read "A Dirge" by Shelley and "To___" by Poe.
"A Dirge" (Shelley)
Rough wind, that moanest loud
Grief too sad for song;
Wild wind, when sullen cloud
Knells all the night long;
Sad storm whose tears are vain,
Bare woods, whose branches strain,
Deep caves and dreary main,--
Wail, for the world’s wrong!
"To___" (Poe)
I heed not that my earthly lot
Hath little of Earth in it,
That years of love have been forgot
In the hatred of a minute:
I mourn not that the desolate
Are happier, sweet, than I,
But that you sorrow for my fate
Who am a passer-by.
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8/23/2013 11:29:51 AM
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Hey there
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A warm welcome to you, Aiden! I am pretty new here also, but I quickly discovered that this is the best poetry site on the net. Everyone here is warm, gracious, encouraging, kind and supportive, and most assuredly, all highly talented. I'm sure everyone would agree that we welcome you with open arms. If I can help you in any way, feel free to let me know. If you want something reviewed, have a question or just want to talk, give me a yell. Happy to have you here and look forward to reading more of your work
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8/23/2013 11:37:28 AM
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Chaotic Life....Made Easier by Poems Alone
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Percy Shelley is very near and dear to my heart, and it was wonderful to read that quote. My advice, to both of you is, as Aiden put it, just chuck it all out there. Everyone here has been kind and encouraging to me, and I know we will all reciprocate; so don't be afraid to post anything. You will receive advice and support, no matter what. I've been around for a few weeks, and I can assure you that you've both found the right place and you will fit right in. And if I can help either of you, just let me know
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8/27/2013 2:02:22 PM
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My reply went into the wrong box
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I think if you go to my outboxes, you can delete the comment there
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9/14/2013 3:56:54 PM
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The Good, the Bad, Beautiful, Ugly and the WTF?
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I have received many humbling and glowing reviews concerning my poetry, and I am grateful for each and every one. Having said that, I would also like to convey that it's also just as important for me, as a poet, to know what's wrong with a piece just as much as what's right with it. I think it's the only way I will ever grow as an artist. If you read one of my pieces and just don't like it, or simply don't understand it, I would love to know why (in the most polite and constructive way possible lol). I want to write poetry that is relatable and understandable, and also be the best at what I do, so I am imploring my (if any lol) readers to let me know what doesn't work for them just as much as what does. Hope this makes sense. Thanks to all who read and consider
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9/14/2013 4:07:40 PM
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Dislike me, you can
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I think you need to lengthen the first line somehow; it also sounds a bit "Yoda-ish". In the second line, I would make "it is" into a contraction. I would also lengthen lines 3 and 4 and find an alternative to "runt", perhaps. I get where you are going, but "runt" feels forced and not strong. I honestly think you should rework lines 3 and 4 to convey the same meaning, but with different words and structure. I like the last line as is. I like the direction of this poem, and with some improvements, I think you'll have a good piece. Hope this helps
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9/14/2013 4:18:53 PM
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BRAND new writer, a little nervous. Help!
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Wow. That's a lot of verbs and adjectives, but you used them very skillfully in this piece. I wish it had rhymed; I think that would make it totally epic. It's very different and fresh, though. Nothing feels forced. I really don't think you need help; I liked it "as is". Maybe this is just your style, and if it is, it's quite unique, I think. All I can really say is "well done"
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9/14/2013 4:35:41 PM
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In My Skin
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I really love this piece, but I think you went a little overboard with the punctuation (although I agree with Dean that it need some). I think you should lengthen the third line just a bit. Here's how I think it would best read:
This body of mine:
Is just a vessel; just a shell,
And it has no more to tell
About the real me
(Than a stone can determine
The depth of a well)
This crude casing
That I have been given
To walk around in...
Doesn't fit my soul
It sneers; it frowns,
And brings me down
Off my high horse
It offers me no solace;
No place to hide.
This body doesn't fit;
However,
I'm stuck with it!
I don't think you need a comma after every line because a comma indicates a pause, and in some places you didn't need a pause. Really, really thought this was a killer piece and "Than a stone can determine The depth of a well" are awesome verses. Hope my suggestions were of some help. Kudos on the write; loved it
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9/15/2013 12:06:52 PM
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Seasons
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The only problem I have with this piece (and call me pedant), is that you spelled "through" as "thru"; that choice in spelling brings down the quality of an overall good poem, I think. Other than that, I enjoyed your piece; kudos
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9/16/2013 8:35:08 AM
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writers block
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Hi, Ursula. Sorry to hear you are having this problem, but it's one we all suffer from time to time. I'll tell you what usually gets the juices flowing for me: reading the classics. I was reading Emily Dickinson the other day and got all kinds of inspired, like, get me a pen and piece of paper FAST type inspired lol. In addition to Emily, if you are a fan of Keats or Poe or Shelley, peruse some of their work (which you can find here) and also of course everywhere on the web. I also find Radiohead to be a great musical influence. Hope these suggestions help; best of luck
edited by JustLivingLies on 9/16/2013
edited by JustLivingLies on 9/16/2013
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9/16/2013 12:31:04 PM
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What really gets on my nerves...
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You want to know what really aggravates me to no end?: people who do not take the time to reply to someone who has left kind remarks or reviews of their poetry. If that person took the time to read, interpret and leave you a comment, the LEAST you can do is say a gracious "thank you". I mean, it takes all of what, 30 seconds (or less!) to type eight little, yet meaningful words? I reply to every single person who leaves me feedback, and can you guess why? Because it's the RIGHT and POLITE thing to do, that's why. How self-absorbed and superficial/shallow can you get to garner accolades/adulation and NOT say a simple "thank you" in return? I think that's absolutely deplorable behavior. If you have time to post, you have time to reply. End of rant. 
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9/19/2013 9:07:45 AM
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Figured I Would Try This Out...
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You have some superb imagery in this piece and all your words are cleverly crafted. The only problems I have with this piece per se is the rhyming. You're a little choppy in some places, and I think it's because your average line syllable count is about 11-12. I would advise shortening the rhyme scheme to maybe 8 or 9 and reworking some of the lines for the sake of flow. Some people don't count syllables and are indifferent to different pentameters. I think iambic might work better for this piece, but you or others may disagree. I think you have some fabulous verses in this piece and with some ironing out of the wrinkles, I think you'll have a strong, compelling poem, indeed. I would just play around with the rhyme scheme a bit to tighten it up, but overall, very good work that I enjoyed
edited by JustLivingLies on 9/19/2013
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9/23/2013 5:54:23 AM
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What really gets on my nerves...
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Thanks, Andrea. I was worried there for a moment that no one else felt this way. It's a behavior and practice I do not understand. I cannot and will not support "poets" who think so little of their audience. If it was not for reading and reviewing each other's work, the Soup would be a pretty boring place. We should all take the time to thank our audience
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9/23/2013 12:58:50 PM
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Some missing masterpieces!
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lol I do hope that means you enjoyed these two gems
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9/23/2013 1:08:40 PM
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What really gets on my nerves...
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Glad you chimed in, Robin; also happy to hear you agree with my little diatribe lol I cannot fully stress or clearly articulate how important I feel it is to be gracious to our audiences. I would say that most poets covet praise, and we should all, as I stated, say "thank you" to those who review our work and leave us feedback; is it not the least we can do? Ungratefulness, indifference and discourteousness are attributes I find detestable in a fellow human being, and even more so in a poet or artist.
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