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Best Poems Written by Theresa Dosiak

Below are the all-time best Theresa Dosiak poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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What If

what if i wasnt going to live until tomoorow
would you notice that i am gone?
what if i died suddenly in a car accident
would your grievence period be long?
what if i were to have your child
would you stay for me or for the baby?
what if i showed up at your door with my heart in my hands
would you love me or just think i was crazy?
what if i just walked away
and left this world in the blink of an eye?
would someone say a kind word
or  will you all just lie?
what if i try so hard and never make it 
past the spot that i am in?
what if all my good deeds
never can out weigh all of my sin?
what if i never stop loving you
and always be there?
how long would it take you to notice
that i really do care?
what if i move on and fall in love
with anther?
would you then tell me your feelings 
or would you hide like a stone cold brother?
what if i always loose 
and never have a chance to overcome?
what if i never love again
and you were truely the one?
what if you never relize 
that you hurt me so?
what if i never get the chance 
to ever let you know?
what if i dont remember 
the way things used to be?
will i ever really know
the true meaning of me?
what if i keep pushing you away
only to want you more?
what if the game i play suddenly
makes me a whore?
waht if i cant undo
all that i ahve done?
what if i never stop
blaming it all on the chosen one?

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Wrong

When we are born into this world we never think that our dreams can be shattered and 
torn apart
We never think that any one of our hopes can be crushed because we hold them so dear in 
our hearts
We go on thinking that we can achieve anything that pops up in our little head
Then we grown up into the bitter reality of instead of our dreams being something that 
we can look forward to its now become something we dread
As a child we would have never be able to fathom that our lives could end up so messed 
up the way they did
We set out goals high and searched  for those stars not knowing that they were out of 
reach because we were kids
Now as we sit here all grown we know better then to reach for the stars and have our 
expectations never met
We learned that the future is something that we can look forward to but also just anther 
thing that we will soon regret
Where can the line be drawn when its comes down to our dreams being shattered by someone 
else’s tongue
Where can be go when we only see failure and the emptiness from staring at this loaded 
gun
I used to say that we could live our lives in a search to always find the next thing
But in the end of that search there’s nothing better to do then to  start over and begin
As a child I thought that when I grew up that I would have all my dreams come true
Too bad we could keep that mind set of always believing even though were bound by all 
that we cant do
I look to my dreams that I Had set and I see how they crumbled in my hand
I see how I risked them all for just a messily touch from a man
I wish I could have seen things as someone would through a Childs eyes
Where there’s no mistakes and people tell you the truth instead of feeding you lies
I guess growing up in this hell filled world is what makes you learn about the wrong 
turns your life takes
It all depends on what we do from there and how keep rebuilding when our body sometimes 
breaks
One thing that I learned and that I will never forget even when I am far gone and 
there’s only my words to pass on
That life is something that we cant take for granted and that even though I thought I 
was so right I now see through my blindness that I was wrong

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Who I Am

You wont find me with my bible sitting in the first row 
You’ll sometimes find me lifting my hands just to put on a show
I sing in the choir but my heart is always being pulled out the door
I haven’t in a while let the holy ghost fill me so I fall on the floor
I cant go fully in the world because of the life here that I have made
I cant fully give it over to him cause in a way I am still afraid
I want to have everything to be okay and just to have peace
But I know that because of my sin that I will never feel at ease 
You ask if I am a backslider and why I am with out the only one that truly loved me 
For some reason I cant answer that for you and that’s the reason that I am not free
I want pity from no one because it was only my doing that caused this
I needed the hand of god on my life and that is one thing that I really do miss
He is something that I don’t deserve and I know that I never will
To me no matter how hard I try I know I never will become for filled 
I want to live a life of love and just serve him with all of my heart
I have done this before and half way through it I always fall apart
Yes I want that high of knowing that I just do not care
But no I don’t want that feeling of knowing that through it all no one is there
The path that I have chose now is not even a path at all
I just stand at the middle of the road and wonder where is my call 
I look around and see people that I have grown up with and suddenly find myself hating them
I am filled with such resentment and ask why I have not one friend
The same people that I once thought so highly of and wanted so badly to become 
Are now the people that I have lashed out at and I have cursed every last one
I glance back and remember the one that I used to be 
Now all that I can say is that the one I am now is not me
Freedom is what I long for each and every day
But lust is what I want and that feeling of knowing that I did it all my way
I am drawn to the rawness of sin and all that it is to me 
But I deeply realize that to live in sin is something that only brings you down on your knee
So what to do at the end of this horrifying night 
Where all I do is just try and find ways to do things all right
How will I ever walk freely when I am trying to run threw out this sand
How will I know what is me or can you tell me who I am

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My Sickness

in the morning
i pick myself out of bed
trying to stand staight
and hold up my head
my mouth is dry 
and my tummy aches
the more i get down on my knees
the more my body breaks
run to brush the horrifing 
smell off of my teeth
as much i think im winning
my throat tells me im in defeat
my chest is breaking up out
of my own skin
my outside looks nice
but im dying within
its too early to engage
in my ungodly ritutal
i love the high of my process
that has now become habitual
no one sees cause
it all happens on the inside
but the smell that carrys and the loss i have
is somethimes hard to hide
i think of all that i dont gain
and that i do swallow
looking at the toll it takes on me
i ask will make it to tomorrow
in the mirror i can only see all 
that i portray
it is just a matter of time now when
i will soon start to decay
my eyes wont tell you
what really happens to my food
when i rush to the bathroom after every meal
i know they think its rude
in 5 years will i start to show
the damage in my throat
i stare at the toliet
and see the evdience a float
so how dose this life style begin 
to end
will it be when the doctor
tells me this damage he can not mend
why do i forfill this 
when i know this will make me die
as i lean over the toliet
i can only ask myself why?

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This Is For You

when i breathe in i am taking a breathe for you
i think of you as my reason to live in all that i do
your my rock that i climb on when it gets too hard for me 
when i smile i smile because i know that me and you are free
the days go by and i am dieing without you 
nothing is what i have if your not there to see me through
when i wake up in the morning your in my heart always
when it comes to me and you i know that there isnt any maybes
when i look at the world i only see distruction
if you werent here with me i know that i would breathe coruption
this is where i was made to be 
right in the middle of you and me 
there isnt anything that i cant face 
when your by myside cause i believe in this place
when your not here i feel as though it will all end
that i have not meaning and that i am never to mend
i will die if i dont have your eyes looking at me
making me come alive and setting me free
when i love i love to die this is how i am 
and i wouldnt be able to answer you why
i need the way i feel when you kiss my neck and touch my hand
theres no way i can be with anther man
your the one i see as my everything
this song forever i will sing
to live without the only one that i love
isnt what i know the man wants from above
i love you and if i die tomorrow then i do
at lest i can say that in the end i still love you

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Shadows

My shadows have left me in a place of my own regret
Always looking for more, my hearts desires never being met
I once longed for a day when I would no longer cry
Then I go and bring destruction on myself so that I can only die
What was once my enemies are now my close friends
Claiming to be my best interest and that there’ll be there till the end
I walk along the road that I have chosen for myself
And my only thought is that im not only polluting others but im killing my very own 
health
Things that were once so above all the rest
Are now under my feet and sadly I have failed the test
My days are filed with the knowing that I have single handedly killed my own soul
Thinking that all I did was ok and that one day I would soon be whole
I look back and think that I can never be who I used to be 
No matter how hard I try I know deep with in I can never truly be free
But just as I glisten in all that I have down wrong I see a hope that came up from the 
dust
A hand reaches out and tells me that I can live again as long as in him I will trust
He reaches out and picks up my lifeless body that has been crushed by my own hand
He stroked away the pain and says that he is the only one that truly understands
He’s been the since that day I was born when he first opened my eyes
He seen me fall into all the sin that I was in and how my heart bought all the worlds 
lies
I thank him that he was there to pick me up when I was only left there to die
Not knowing of the trouble I’ve caused him I see him begin to cry
Why was this god crying and what had gotten him so sad
His face was swelled with tears and his smile was no longer glad
I looked into the eyes of the only father that I ever known
He looked at me and said “daughter im glad that you’ve finally come home”

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Bye

its hard for me to do
to give my all and still have some left for me
its something that never comes true
the fact that i just cant be free
my love with my father was pain
he recked me and im shattered still
my love with men was soft like morning rain
but now its his being that i long to kill
i look on my life and i see that it wasnt me
that i came from it all
the way i was raised was how i should be
and i think thats what is my down fall
i can hide to escape it all
but the truth is im tired of pretending
i want to jump and not fall
i cant keep loving and never have my heart get mending
everything is here but 
i can grab it cause my vision is not so clear
what should i say 
to the man that i looked up to 
will he just look away
when i start on about how he didnt do all he could do
will the love of my life leave
like he does adn im all alone
he needs to know that hes what makes me breathe
and that i want me and him to create a home
my expectations have been shattered
by all that ive done
my feelings were never gathered 
just loaded into this empty gun
things are going to be ok from now on
as soon as the nosie goes out
then i will be gone
and there will lots of tears no doubt
my blood on their hands
all the faces that were never there
the cold hearts of those that never could understand
that this was my chance to proof that i did care
showing off my face
tomorrow will come
they will have to find something to replace
me becasue i will be shattered by the barrel of this gun

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Regrets

Maybe if I never would have seen your face then maybe my life today wouldn’t be so 
messed up
Back then if I could have never talked to you then maybe just knowing about love would 
have been enough
Ever since I let you into my life I have done nothing but do wrong
I put everything on hold for you and now my problems haven’t been dealt with in so long
My choices were my own and I’m faced with the consequences of those actions I’ve made
Since I let you have me, my nights are mostly spent in the corner being so afraid
I’m left with the unsure ness of not knowing where I will go when I pass on
Those feelings I have toward you since then have now been long gone
I still look to the door in a hope that your body will appear 
I still look for you when a song comes on and your body is no where near
My dreams are sometimes filled with thoughts of you
In all that I have done these few things that linger on is something that I cant figure 
out if there its true
If I could take it all back you know that I would in a hope that my life would soon be 
different
That I would be a smarter better person instead of my soul being selfish and ignorant
My last breathe is filled with the losses that I have acquired
Ly last moment is filled with all the things that my flesh has desired
As I step toward the gates that I know my soul will not be lead in to
My sins flash before me and the last regret of me saying “why did I ever have to meet 
you”