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Marcie Keene Poem
goodbye i'd rather die stay away from me from my abandoned arm
it's taken way too long to say so long i finally know this is wrong in my arm you don't belong
you wher my friend for years drying all my tears numbing my fears
this will be harder to turn away but i'm sorry i'm searching for better days
you cannot live here anymore for there is somerthing else i adore
never leaving me wasted on the dirty floors you've done nothing but complicate me
finding the sinner withen mechewing me up spitting me out leaving me exposed and in doubt
i tried to hide you but you were on my sleeves more and more
the days got so hot i just forgot to cover you up
people could tell how much you really loved m,y by the tracks on my arms
they could tell how much you made me feed youby the bruises counting the number of uses
i was driven by your emptiness your nimbness i was raped by your security
now i'm driven by someone elses this is no gamecall it lame you make me ashamed
ashamed to know i trusted you all i wanted to do was die with you
i just want to try a new and see what's it's like sober
we can no longer sleep together no matter the beautiful sunny weather
i am gonna start over and learn how to grow older so goodbye to you please stay away
forgat my name forget your game having something else beside me
for my sobriety will never lie to me never hurt me never desert me
your every promise empty you've taken all my money it's no longer funny saying it's better
than sweet sweet honey
i get so sick after your every prick you're never enough making my life extra hard
only satisfied for a few then back out searching for you only i can let you in
somehow you always seem to win all the dreams i had were taken away
it seems in just a blink of an eye then you find me and i'm all scattered and torn
feeling so good after trudging through the hood i sit with your company and drift off
addicted to the unknown that has always been shown now i'm flushing you out
i'm brushing you off it's my time to shine thanks for the memories i'll bury them with you
don't you get it you're all alone you creep around like a stalker i'm prepared for you
hear my words get go be gone now i'm strong and you're dead wrong
someday i'll shine and sobriety will be mine
Copyright © Marcie Keene | Year Posted 2009
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Marcie Keene Poem
my soul will burn
my heart will break
so insecure
always unsure
hurting you
hurting me
pull you close
push you far
this is not a game
feeling so much shame
saying hi today
goodbye tomorrow
i'm like magic
now you see me
now you don't
i am your ecstacy
i am your disease
i'll eat you once
then i'm full
you still want more
making your whole body shake
just to see how much you can take
i make you squirt devouring you like my favorite dessert
leaving you awed
feeling like fraud
i cannot give you love
i am broken
that is unspoken
you will never get me
so try and forget me
Copyright © Marcie Keene | Year Posted 2009
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Marcie Keene Poem
The pain never fading, even after time
knowing that this is all mine
everyone telling me I'd be fine
the emotional scars are gone with a flash
dashing out the door craving more
going for another ride having no pride
I take another blast pushing it all back
I put it down, I pick it up
it's getting me, it's taking over
inhaling before exhaling I just can't be satisfied
each hit making me crave another
a deeper harder hit
my eyes wide open, my hands shaking while I'm sitting
scraping for more
the flame slowly dying as I get down to the last of my sanity
knowing in a few it will be insanity
the only annoyance is the clicking of the lighter
frantically crawling on the floor
hoping to find a little more
looking for someone who is cooking
cooking up my sanity
I pack it down
I push it tight
I savor my hit with all my might
coming down soon what an awful sight
at this moment I feel free and unbound
I can't see I can't feel the ground I am numb
I exhale looking pale
now feeling empty I have the urge to hit it again
do I live it or leave it, now I feel the seperation axiety inside of me
Copyright © Marcie Keene | Year Posted 2009
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Marcie Keene Poem
I lye here on the cement floor, looking up into the sky, it's dark and cloudy not letting one
single ray shine by
I go deep inside of my twisted mind, and wonder why everything has to eventually die
to eventually dissapear from its existance, all the existing things suddenly dissapear
and never know you once existed, you are now completley gone- or are you
will I come back as another being, another soul
will I someday be that dejavu
I wish I could just release my whole inner being at this very moment and fly
into the sky- becoming one with it
another cloud- maybe being the warm wind upon someones skin other than mine
maybe a rain drop falling high from the sky, and suddenly splattering to the ground
dissapearing into another existance- the underworld
why do these things, these thoughts race through me
taking over my attention, not being able to focus on anything at all
not ever what is right infront of me, why do I complicate everthing more
than it already is
is it complicated or just me challenging myself
to much time, not enough space
I'm searching for the sun, the light on my face, for the warmth in my heart
I am cold right now, I feel like ice
my circulation shutting off from my hole being
wanting help so desperatly from these thoughts
but when it comes I run fast i run far
I am weak if I take your hand, don't you understand
I am weak if you see me cry or was that just another learnd lie
stand up child you're to wild
don't you grab that helpfull hand
I can hear the demand
Copyright © Marcie Keene | Year Posted 2009
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Marcie Keene Poem
Everyone always goes in the end, I stretch my arms out but they
never turn around
never saying anything but goodbye
watching them from behind as they leave
still feeling them all around
they have some how bound me to them
to care to cry to hold onto what
to nothing just a thought, a reminder of all the hurt
please take it all away when you go
your voice your memory expecially your face
all the time you spent in my place, my space, in my heart
in my arms, in my bed
all I remember is you and how you made it so easy as if I wasn't alive
I gave you my hand and now you demand to take a stand
and walk without a soothing talk
just stay, stay away no more hitting and spititng
spitting your hastey words
you limited to me to your issolations seing nothing but your back
so don't you ever come back or my heart will have a sudden attack
your so outspoken with your insults lodging tears in my throat
never wiping them away just standing there watching my vision become blurry
then you leave in a hurry
I'm amuned to you, your damage has beaten my soul
so please keep walking, I'm through talking
I feel the weight is gone
and with any hope soon I will breath
Copyright © Marcie Keene | Year Posted 2009
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Marcie Keene Poem
SSSHHH listen Daddy are you there
SSSHHH listen I want to tell you how my day at school went
SSSHHH listen, Daddy are you there, why arn't you answering
I need you Daddy
Why arn't you there- Daddy I need a hug, I need you to hold me
and tell me it will all be okay and it will be over soon
That you are stronger than the big bright moon- Hello- Daddy
Why wont you answer are you lost
SSSHHH- listen, i don't understand
I need you to listen, I need your hand, for you to stand up and be a man
SSSHHH listen, Daddy are you there
sorry to say for he doesn't care
I suddenly fall to the ground and scream
Daddy- Daddy this isn't fair
SSSHHH- Listen Daddy I need you to come back PLEASE
I f only for a simple minute to hear of my day
SSSHHH- Daddy are you there
I need a hug for I have never felt your strong arms around me
Knowing you could have been the one to keep me safe, the one who just might have saved
me
SSSHHH- listen, it is another lonley day that I feel that I have been betrayed
Daddy why wont you there, why don't you care
SSHHH listen
I hesr nothing and
nothing is what I have become
Copyright © Marcie Keene | Year Posted 2009
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Marcie Keene Poem
wide awake my stomach aches-thinking again will this ever end
wishing to be i the druggy hallways-to drown my cries
not caring i almost died-so wrong and not right
my thoughts their hard to fight-still wide awake
getting harder and harder to take
saying to myself just one more blast before i put it all in the past
wishing the high would forever last
i thought i could take this but i cannot shake it
runnimg around in circles looking for light
at the moment my future's not looking so bright
lie me on the groun i feel as if i'm going to drown
my air is gone it's hard to breath
please shine down on me and set me free
all i see is a dirty needle creeping closer and closer
wanting me until the end calling meit's only true friend
cannot take anymore i want to scream
stay the hell outta my god damn dreams
for dreams do come true i've finally said we are through
i wake up swetty and shaky my head is pounding
all i want is to combust into a million lieces
why does that blast have to mentally last
forever i will want it forever i will long and forever i will fight with all my might
to maybe live another sober day
Copyright © Marcie Keene | Year Posted 2009
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Marcie Keene Poem
Here I go again
another disturbing addiction
is it the pain or the way the blood trickles down my skin like warm drops of rain
or it the color red, so bright and vibrant
is it the way I feel to know that I am still reall
I drag the blade across my skin so slow , feel the sting all the way
just because of a bad day
I see the flashes of the past
hoping with each cut they wont last
hoping to wash it all away why must it always stay
they think I'm sick or maybe mad
but deep inside I'm extremely sad
don't ask questions please leave me alone
I don't cut down to the bone
I will live, I will survive
It isn't a thing that makes me proud
go ahead and point
go ahead and stare with a glare
go ahead and pick me apart just adding extra hate to my heart
your laughter your insults I cut them deep in my skin
pushing your words deeper within
do you think you have control just because I don't
maybe I'm crazy, maybe your crazy
maybe we're crazy, probably
at least I can confess that I am a mess
and you
what are you going to do
Copyright © Marcie Keene | Year Posted 2009
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Marcie Keene Poem
my hands are up i surrender
please don not jump on my ship for i am sinking
too hard to carry you and i will drown
i see your hand but i cannot reach it
down i go
i do not care for life has not been fair
i am not scared
just another unknown
another time i should have grown
i look around for hope for comfort but back down i go
seeing one foot go in front of the other feeling like i'm in quicksand
not sure where i'll land
i'm going without question
wanting to sail home once i get this water out of my boat
no more criss cross steps
the words are no longer rolling off my tongue
they are twisted in my head
i dream about the other sunken ships from time to time
wondering if i'm the one who will sink them
could i have held out my hand and helped them
how could i when i was sinking
searching for my own hand
sink alone down down down i go
so many questions once again
i wonder will it ever end
Copyright © Marcie Keene | Year Posted 2009
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Marcie Keene Poem
I was in the corner fallen onto my beaten knees
I'm trying but I don't know if I can do it, I'm losing it
I'm starting to slip, I have lost my sturdy grip
I flip and I flop, you look at me and I suddenly feel bare
how unfair for you to stare
My hands are dirty and I start to worry, I'm lost in this place
please don't let it take me far away
I want to go to a secret place where it is safe and quite
where nobody can judge me, see me
I know in this place I will be safe, my knees will be clean and I will feel serene
I will not stand again for any man for they will not know where I hide
trying only to earn back my pride they wont be able to take me and make
me dirty
never again will I sit for you no longer do I fit with you
I closed you up and I went away
to this place nobody knows
it's quite and now my bloody knees are forever clean
lost forever, my soul has now taken me away to better days
I'll forever be, and I'd like to stay in this place
Copyright © Marcie Keene | Year Posted 2009
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