Cleansing the Soul

I lye here on the cement floor, looking up into the sky, it's dark and cloudy not letting one single ray shine by I go deep inside of my twisted mind, and wonder why everything has to eventually die to eventually dissapear from its existance, all the existing things suddenly dissapear and never know you once existed, you are now completley gone- or are you will I come back as another being, another soul will I someday be that dejavu I wish I could just release my whole inner being at this very moment and fly into the sky- becoming one with it another cloud- maybe being the warm wind upon someones skin other than mine maybe a rain drop falling high from the sky, and suddenly splattering to the ground dissapearing into another existance- the underworld why do these things, these thoughts race through me taking over my attention, not being able to focus on anything at all not ever what is right infront of me, why do I complicate everthing more than it already is is it complicated or just me challenging myself to much time, not enough space I'm searching for the sun, the light on my face, for the warmth in my heart I am cold right now, I feel like ice my circulation shutting off from my hole being wanting help so desperatly from these thoughts but when it comes I run fast i run far I am weak if I take your hand, don't you understand I am weak if you see me cry or was that just another learnd lie stand up child you're to wild don't you grab that helpfull hand I can hear the demand