You crack me up the old crone said
She is cranky and crabby, and splinters into pieces
Unless you act irritated and distraught
She lives for that
The mirror turned around and flashed her
Showing its bare bottom side
She shrieked and screamed, but with delight
Ruining it for the mirror
What do you want now? The mirror asked.
She knew, but she always had to ask.
“Who is the wittiest of them all?” the hag asked.
Bats flew out and gave her a smack on her cheek.
The mirror was not surprised.
She knew there were bats somewhere in her belfry.
The bats chased the crone off,
No more "mirror mirror on the wall" for her.
It's fun having fun with English,
Children are smart, sometimes we're not;
Enjoy this, call it what you wish,
One of the wittiest I got,
"How many kidneys do we have?"
The teacher asked the bright young boy,
"Four", replied he, (what a brainwave!)
The teacher laughed, he did enjoy,
The boy explained, "WE have got four,
Two of mine and two of yours, Sir",
Dumbstruck, the teacher laughed no more,
This boy, when grown, caused quite a stir!
He became a great humourist*,
The school, I'm sure, was his first stage,
He knew how to give a fun twist
To the witty English language.
08.14.2021
*Famous Brazilian humourist - Apparicio Torelly Aporelly (1895-1971), better known as the "Barao de Itararé"
(True story found in the Web)
Sister of My Heart
Beloved sister of my heart
Is ten years younger than me.
By age, as she was a girl just
I was a grown up lady.
I was deprived of my Mom's affection.
She cared for me, unhesitant
I took her as my best companion.
Since girlhood she is my assistant.
I am aggressive, she is introvert
We are opposite, by nature not same.
Yet she is competent and expert
to deal with my trouble and problem.
In my circle, I am known to be the wittiest
So many friends ask for my advice.
Yet as my personal advisor, she is the best.
She proceeds in silence, but acts nice.
I
12/25/15
When older siblings or younger step in First Place
Sponsor
Eve Roper
Rosette tapestries of unparalleled glamour
Embroided thoroughly by the wittiest clamor
Magnanimously amorous in grace and wonder
Bewitching and charming though so yonder
Rhetorically out bounding my frugal thoughts
To be "irresistible", my flawless pure cause
Starlight's amiss your ornate romantic spell
Driving me sweetly to madly deep to compel
Handful of metaphors and highfalutin words
Illuminating. Inspiring. Invigorating.
Incubating anyone with one unique style
Wonderful, beautiful, matchless, they foretell
Vividly inventive and bombastic with each stroke
To hardened hearts, you can surely start to stoke
Erratically tender enough to adagio break the silence
Drawing anyone for more and more to your essence
by:
olive eloisa
2:54 pm
Revised April 24, 2014
CONTEST: ANY POEM #24
Sponsor: POET DESTROYER A
3RD PLACE
She is the golden girl, Betty White
She states she has a two story house
For exercise she goes up and down
Hopefully she is not in a gown!
Coolest, wittiest lady, Betty White
She states, you want to be a toughie?
“Grow ******, they can take a pounding”
Her hilarious humor are outstanding!
I defy all definitions
I stand tall in the tumbling storms
I darken darkness because I am light
I dwell in fiery furnace
Am not subject to your skeptical thoughts
But all skeptics emanate from me
Your whims are empty when I sigh
My presence exhume all
My aural is brave and grave
I am not eternal but eternal exit in me
In my abject irrationality I remain the wittiest,
I give definition to the undefined
I can choose to bathe with blood,
And through me the centers holds and falls
Never taken aback
Because I am Enigma.
awoh awoh
Her sultry tone devoured at my ego, clawed at my patience and diminished my already sullen sense of self like
a pack of hyenas slowly and methodically move in for the kill; every move is choreographed. Every move
practiced and tried and tried and practiced. She goes for the jugular, I thought, as my blank computer screen
became blank eyes that penetrated like lightning, yet colder than ice. The “out of sight, out of mind” mentality
that plagued the past like a veil and a black hood obscured the truth to a reality fit for Picasso, and yet we
traipsed through friendship like we were both a-singin’ in the rain, with red boots and a smile.
The fog has lifted, but the weather is not clear. Black and gray dominate a lime-splashed sky filled with ideas of
jealousy and brief glimpses of hatred. Yet it is a silent violence, unique to love. A slow, pious pain that envelops
even the sauciest of men. Even the wittiest and most intellectual of men. Even the strongest of men. I run on a
AA of hope; the secluded chance that I weathered the storm, holding dear to the sound of love.
Perfectionist's selection
will overwhelm mediocrity
but who is a winner
when someone is the loser?
Contests of creation
creating competitiveness:
surely not survival of the fittest
or even the wittiest
but a reflection of talent
from the perception
of the reader.
Just write right
the form, the norm
so the judge may judge
and cross the t's
perfect like two peas in a pod
with no variation
just correct creation.
Correct peas, if you please
all uniform and green.
How creative, how sublime
but it doesn't rhyme
these peas in a pod,
or a pod of peas
if you please.
Perfectly round there they lie
and it will please us well
from their shell to be shelled,
steamed and eaten
as the end of this creation.
`````````````` "Two Peas In A Pod" contest
Here lies the grave of the priest Adrian
The wisest and wittiest of all men
Stole away from our world at a green age
His heavenly heart ripped from the rib cage
By the malicious son of his mother
Something of a fiend, nothing of a brother
Caught dead in a spider's web of forged fate
Poisoned by the bread placed upon his plate
All for a Beatrice of bewildering sight
A wife by day, a black widow by night
Seduced the brother, his soul she did eat
Spun silver silk of devilish deceit
He was a man of God, of Godly words
But faith could not save him from the worms
Adrian was doomed when he said 'I do'
May he rest in peace, his soul rise anew