Vibrator Poems


I know

Okay I rolled my eyes when I saw you, 
Okay I ignored you in group settings,
Okay I never listened to your ideas,
Okay I made eyecontact but still didn't react, 
Okay I reached out my hand to seperate you from the Vibrator, 
Because you were *joking* and making people staying up moving harshly,
Because you were *joking* and tried to use it to calm the situation.
 ,,Does someone need a cent?"

        ,,has someone some paper?"

                                       ,,a pencil?"
I was still the first one lending you a hand, 
Now that I stopped,
Why are you closing me the door that harshly till my nose bleeds?
,,Than you shouldn't have stood that near there, watch out where you are"
I closed the door too,
But kept an eye on your feet.
Categories: vibrator, 8th grade,
Form: Free verse

Blood Pulsing Deletions

Natural death licking aims
Now our bleach seasons heirs
And the pubis of public lore

Intrauterine spinning blue dream cream
Roils rushing a rock star’s semen searching 
For golden lands of rum and sable ladies eyeing

Blown ear-drum truth percussive
Hand-grenade vibrator lipstick hash
Recall spinning reams in a hyperinflation

Of love overture blend ground night hues of whispers
Meaninglessness long snaking verbs of silence wilt low

Screw worm elect obscene emotive drooling apocalypses
Categories: vibrator, death, deep, evil, gothic,
Form: Free verse


Premium MemberJan's Cock Has a Cocka Doodle Ring

The cock wakes her up in the morning 
she loves his cocka doodle ring  
its longer then hubbies thing 
thicker then a piece of string 
Perhaps a vibrator that sings ?
Categories: vibrator, humorous,
Form: Limerick

Buckeye

To celebrate Cinco de Maio
She set her vibrator on "Gyro"
It started to hum 
When in walked her mum
 Et voilà! The State of Ohio!
Categories: vibrator, culture, french,
Form: Limerick

The Ann Summers Alphabet

A is for a**l
B is for balls
Share them or wear them
Tucked up in your smalls
C is for condoms 
Of all shapes and sizes
D is for dicks
Made of chocolate for prizes
E is for enlarging erections
Oh wow!
F is for fig leaves
Worn you know how
G is for G string
Oooh very nice
H is for handcuffs
Double locked twice
I is for indecent
That sums it up
J is for juices
And not in a cup
K is for kinky
Whatever the weather
L is for lust, libido and leather
M is for mask, massage and minge
N is for naughty
Making me cringe
O is for oral
Taken at leisure
P is for pervert, ****, pimp and pleasure
Q is for quickie
If that is your need
R is for rampant rabbit
One you won't have to feed
S is for S and M
With shackles thrown in
T is for torture
Oh such a sin
U is for urinate
Some folk just love it
V is for vibrator
You know where to shove it
W is for whores, whips, willies and wellies
X is for x rated **** on your tellies
Y is for yeast
Well it does make bread rise!
And Z, well I'm f****d
So I'll say my goodbyes!
Categories: vibrator, funny,
Form: ABC


Limerick 2

A beautiful lady from Kildare 
glued a vibrator to her rocking chair
The ladies from Inniskeen
Thought she was mean 
For being unwilling to share.

For the perfect limerick 2 contest
Sponsored by  Andrea Dietrich.
Categories: vibrator, funny,
Form: Limerick

Premium MemberThe Vibrator Vibrates

THE VIBRATOR VIBRATES
THAT ‘S WHAT IT DOES
IT DOESN’T SUCK UP
NOR BLOW

BUT IT DOES HUM
IF YOU LISTEN INTENSELY
IT AWAKENS IN YOU 
STRAVINSKY’S FIREWORKS
IN 4/4*
Categories: vibrator, urban,
Form: Free verse

Who Is

Who is 
Who is this twerp to lecture me,
That I shouldn’t suck my spaghetti,
Put up the seat for we we we,
When I go on vacation,

How dare he say I caint text too,
Unhygienic, on the jolly loo,
Guess he thinks he’s Hitler new,
No cause for celebration.

What’s wrong with me new vibrator,
New gal says, she’ll catch me later,
Yes now I’m cast as woman hater,
it an me, amalgamation?

Don Johnson  9-aug-11
Categories: vibrator, adventure, me,
Form: Ballad

Premium MemberOrdinary Man

The Ordinary Man

In the kitchen where I feed, greed for you, my only need
Across the table, longing to be swept by your eyes
Like the average guy you speak of  long days
Tired and weary, not handy in bed 

Flames burned out the desire in hopes one day to return
I open the window, in hopes you feel and follow the tease
These feelings are so frustrating
I compare beyond mountains so boring

I hold back, missing your million kisses to none
Making wishes, I can't breath in my dream
A love connection ending like death
Your sex drive- gone cold, my wild sexuality ends in tears

The rage- The power - The hunger- Needs to be fed
No matter, tonight I'm setting the vibrator on high
One thing I won't deny myself, the pleasure my body needs 
Who needs the ordinary man, when I have a box full of batteries and toys!

...
Categories: vibrator, absence, day, desire, for
Form: Free verse

Life Is a Drag

she is a top anthropologist,
he is a brilliant proctologist,
she is a beautiful billionaire,
he is a handsome debonair; 

she is a successful musician,
he is a charismatic politician,
she is a brilliant, gifted doctor,
he is a world-famous sculptor;

she is a kind and loving father,
he is an overly doting mother,
she sticks to her strict morals,
he has got problematic molars;

she loves to play games indoor,
he likes to get his thrill outdoor,
she enjoys her reliable vibrator,
he rides his John Deere tractor;

she believes she is his superior,
he does not buy that he is inferior,
both work real hard trying to cope
submitting poems at PoetrySoup;

this hobo can only chuckle and say
ha ha! big deal you are this or that;
because whether you like it or not
to dust you shall return anyway.
Categories: vibrator, introspection, life,
Form: Free verse

I Want To Write Poems That...

Squeeze lemon on strange fishy tales.
Pick plasters gingery, while fondling the phone.
Lick long melted lines of Lolita ice-cream.
Sink their teeth into fingers of the hand that feeds them.

Chucks innocent chickens into cock fighting rings.
Knocks over tables and laughs. Ever-so-secretly, 
Wraps a vibrator, in paper, with red, printed kisses
Then posts it to that mad nun in Black Narcissus
Categories: vibrator, funny,
Form: Light Verse
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