Humorous Vanity Poems

My head is in a spin,
My obsession just to win,
I'm driven and I'm mad
All I smell is gushing blood.

I feel I'm in a surreal game
That...

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My sweet sensations in the grind, 
To indulge my lot 
In idle or hot?! 
The tug of war ‘twixt body and mind. 

The two’ve been...

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HEALTHY SENIOR

My mother used to feed me to grow up big and strong
Cauliflower and broccoli, some foods that taste so wrong
How could anyone believe that...

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You can’t understand how that sounds.
You laugh, but you look like clowns.
Don’t repeat the joke. Don’t assail
my ears with what you would call a humorous...

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Beneath the hot Summer sun,
Bathed in pools of sweat.
Cooking of my skin begun,
And it wasn't noon yet.

I felt my forehead fry,
And my whole body quiver.
In...

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The proud ruler known vainly as Saklas
In the abyss proudly proclaimed with brass:
“I am god, no other but me!”
Then a voice above said in glee:
“You...

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There once was a gadfly daring.
His speech, it was laced with swearing
          He said too much
...

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The continued story of this poet
Haters r going to be mad that I even wrote it
Here is where I give u "The Business"
Like a lightning...

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STOP! This is the updated version
So now I guess this is the REMIXed version
Now the ONLY version
Poetrysoup Exclusive Version
Click the back button if ur ears...

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Eccentric Emma, third world charity advocator
Posts smiling foreground photos in mud slewn villages
Personifying inconsistency wafts remote mantra
Mind realm torrents when Followers Like - limitless! 

Travels...

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I have news that is sure to impress.
My new book will be… published —no less!
Let’s break out the champagne,
raise a toast to my brain…
No-o-o-o! ...

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Inside my head, reality
Slithered right up to me and called,
"Look old man, that mirror don't lie,"
"You might as well, embrace the bald"

Still I held out,...

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To be Ignored (heads in the air, or maybe noses)

The toilet makes a swoosh, 
The drain makes a giggle.
Grandpa lets go a “big” one, 
and...

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The fidgeting lips of hypocrites 
sound the story they couldn’t predict, 
the Hindsight family carry the flame 
that rewinds backwards and assigns blame, 
something achieved...

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“Impeach, Impeach” the chorus grows
Wise is the phrase “What I shall reap is what I sow”,
Show me the way, find me a door,
For this great...

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