Humorous Valentines Day Poems

Do not ask for roses, dear
Be they pink or white or red
I'll give you something more sincere
Like poison oak instead....

Read More

Roses are red, goblins are green
Just like my buddy, Frankenstein
Well, it’s February fourteenth
And I don’t have a valentine
So let’s declare it Valloween
And now, my love,...

Read More

Sally's Valentine


Valentine's Day awoke Sally's devil
The horny one went to town to revel
She barhopped easy streets
In need of finding sweets
That night she smiled her high...

Read More

Darling, I’m thinking of getting implants.
Right fine, I was going to the gardening centre today, we can go together
No, silly, breast implants.
You already have two...

Read More

Eggsactly but not quite

There once was a beautiful chick from Peru 
With more than one suitor, knew not what to do 
Yet on Valentines day...

Read More

Valentine’s Day I do love you
a day of red~pink but not blue
you are like candy~sweet
much better than red meat
God sent me to you~who knew...

Read More

No one can deny your young body;
Would you consider this old noddy?
	Let‘s explore all angles,
	Even bit that dangles.
You’re headier than a hot toddy!
...

Read More

My husband had purchased fresh flowers
They sweltered in his car for eight hours
Twelve roses of red
Were nearly all dead
His Valentine’s Day gaffe truly sours
...

Read More

For love's sake,                      ...

Read More

January…new year, new me.
Met you and now I’m happy. 
We watched the ball drop and kissed at midnight.


My February Valentine
hearts and flowers because you’re mine
as...

Read More

Quote By Poet "True LOVE is kind and never hurts."

My One~Only Love~Happy Valentine's Day 
with beautiful cards~flowers hooray 
your kisses are from above 
little wild~kind...

Read More

The roses are dead;
the violets are too.
The candy I bought?
Mold-encrusted blue…

I tried to cook dinner,
but burned up the steak.
Those dazzling earrings?
Turns out they’re a fake.

I...

Read More

February fourteenth is Valentine's day,                    ...

Read More

It’s the 14th of February
And I’m all by my lonesome self again.
Been searching on Tinder, Hinge and Bumble,
Hoping to find the love of my life,...

Read More

I need meat on Valentine ’s Day
A Love Sausage was on display
We will eat one tonight
And to hubbies delight
Much later he will get a lay

But...

Read More