Making repetitive decisions.
Stumbling once more
into this drug-addicted trap,
lost thoughts begin bleeding out
on paper.
While those forgotten run overtime
beneath the subconscious,
in attempts to illuminate
what my eyes cannot hide.
This never-ending shift
in the revolving door of emotions and morality
leaves me without breath,
somehow still breathing.
Cut open is my flesh,
as rogue thoughts crash like waves upon the shore.
Restless is my mind,
while eyes lock in a steady haze.
The dryness in the air
causes blinking eyes to wonder
how most lose their sight.
Not many stop to ponder.
To live faceless
in a blinding world.
Hearing the pain
in another's song—
we must be related.
Having poured out all of oneself,
questions remain.
Was it ever love?
Or always lust?
Voicing these realities
becomes like a temperature
too hot to touch.
Unable to unsee
what has become fragile,
while I became careless.
As the clouds part the sky
It makes me think of a time
How thing’s aren’t like they are now
When time didn’t stop on a dime
Still the days go on by
Just like they always do
I wish I was able to unsee the things i can’t undo
Almost everywhere we pass
We see ungodly things
The devil’s surely stronger
Than what some people believe
Some won’t quit doing drugs
Let alone stop taking a drink
So, wake up with a full heart
You should count your blessings twice
The devil’s playground is open
The gates are spread wide
Oh, how I wish this was different times
Teeny tiny bikinis
with droopy butt cheeks
tiny tube tops
with bursting cleavage
Spandex
we'll leave it at that
It is
what it isn’t
It looks
to unsee
Its start
unbeginning
It goes
— when it leaves
(Dreamsleep: April, 2026)
I loved you once....
more than i knew i could.
But love isn't always returned.
Sometimes it's one-sided,
silent and bruising.
You betrayed me
in ways I can't unsee,
and I.....
I had to leave,
even if leaving hurts more than staying.
I won't cry for what was lost.
I won't beg for what never was.
I close this chapter
with fire in my chest,
and peace in my spine.
In your next life,
I pray you never have kids
So they don't carry the weight
of a heart that forgot how to care
It hurts, it really does.
But it is for the best
Because i am more than your betrayal,
more than your silence,
more than your discouragements.
I walk forward.
Alone, yes,
but alive,
and ready to love...
myself first, always first.
Hey, i say with joy
Oh to have an answer back
One with so much sense
Hey, i say boy
I then stand in the corner
As i watch
All of them go out of the world
I watched like a foreigner
And waited until they all whirled and swirled
Atlantic blues washing over, dancing to sound
Flying in the sky oh, the good feeling
Of all them being clowned
A stick of delusion
A feeling of disgust
But oh, such a taste of
of sweet trust
Hey, i say again
This time less energy
and more angst
This has to stop i say
All ignoring me like dancing in the rain
Why so comfortable
Why did i have to know
Or see i could have left
I could have forgot
But no i lead to theft
As i took the stick of joy
Went outside threw it across the floor
They run after it like running from
the waves of Atlantic blues
But for them it's the same
They're fantasy cruise
Is my reality frame
I stay away now
But boy, if i could go back
To unsee what i saw
I would take a vow
A pact, whatever it take
to get them back
It's as if I'm trying to pour a storm into a teacup.
Voicing my reality,
a temperature too hot to touch.
Snickers across the room,
holding as much weight as the finger food left sat upon their plates
Noticing cracks in the fine-China
Others don't seem to notice.
Not able to unsee what has become fragile
while becoming careless.
I still know my own name.
The one spread in rumors,
and bouts of deep shame.
thats when the static they project
echo from the depths of my core.
Their static is loud.
but my signal endures.
No fear of the world—
it can’t touch me now.
The noise,
the motion,
the faces—
all harmless, hollow.
What scares me
is what no one sees.
The quiet hum
behind the air,
the tilt of time
when no one’s looking.
They pass through it,
blind and smiling,
as if gravity
never stuttered.
They laugh
at the edge of something
I can’t unsee.
I’m not chosen—
just aware.
And awareness
is a cruel inheritance.
So I walk,
unblinking,
through a world
that never knows
it’s cracked.
Existence is dubitable like an ocean; waves spree there-- anywhere
Well, we can't unsee the depth of the well, a person where it can idealize darkness through matter
Feels uncertain; the moment we are not sure of
But who to swim to these stagnate waters from aquifers just to see a miracle
A coin, a peso, no, a horizontal ocean. But it can't be an ocean; it does not splash
It does, a motion where we could generate. It is the most stagnate of depth I have seen
It is too far to say it is an ocean, ocean is dubitable, well the well is too.
The one, is so calm where the other is not. EIther, it contains darkness
Say, it is just life through its motion, as far you could read it
I myself cannot even synthesize an ocean and well because of physicality, rather thinking how it could be similar
Also, I could not even write that ocean is a well, for I am uncertain where I am. I was thrown at the world!
For nothing I should conceive my own meaning.
Around him is a multitude
of people who appear to be
with partners, friends or family.
Excited smiles display their mood.
He drifts along, solitary.
Among that throng, a ghost is he
whose dead wife’s face he can’t unsee.
Forlornness he cannot bury.
I stared into the mirror too long
And it finally broke beneath my gaze
Not from age, neither from accident
But the weight of truths I dared not face.
I saw a childhood in pieces
stitched together with borrowed faith
smiles that were survival
and joy that never quite fit.
I tried to imagine someone else
a better version
but the cracks revealed more
than I could ever hide.
Behind the splinters
a black hole not born of stars
but dug by my own hands
layered carefully to bury what hurt too much to hold.
I hate that reflection
not for what it shows
but for what it threatens to reveal
a truth I can’t unsee, the quiet contempt I carry
for the person I pretend to be.
Never seen
Yet can't unsee
Burning in my mind
Searing in my brain
The image of you and him
Its a punch in the gut
My breath gone
No air left for me to gasp
Just this sickening thought
The image of you and him
I said those three words
Yet my heart sank when I saw
The look on your face
It was even worse than
The image of you and him
The harder I try
The more I push you away
But I can't be aloof
So what will I be left with?
The image of you and him
The effort so intense
Would be worth every second
But instead I'm exhausted
Close my eyes only to see
The image of you and him
Never seen
But can't unsee
The image of you and him
These waves push me closer to the shore. Brushing on my arms, have I been here before.
I lay in darkness everyday, waiting for these waves to pull me away. Back to where I haven’t been before, where I yearn to be.
In the darkness of the sea. I swim toward the light. Oh how bright it shines. Will I get there in a flash? Or is what I see beyond my reach.
Is it truly in the skys above or is it in the sea.
These cold nights only turn into long days. I pray for this feeling to drift away. So I close my eyes in hopes of dreams, not nightmares I can’t unsee. But I fear that day will never come. As I have been stuck here for far too long.
In this feeling of dismay, I pray to see a better day. So I wash my self away in this water. A place I see more fortune. A place where my minds at ease. I let these waves take me.
I wish for them to swallow me whole, I do not wish to come back to the shore. But I fight regardless as I fear a day I will only see complete darkness during the day.
And on that day I will pray, for me to return home again. No matter the pain it had bought me back then.
These waves push me closer to the shore. Brushing on my arms, have I been here before.
I lay in darkness everyday, waiting for these waves to pull me away. Back to where I haven’t been before, where I yearn to be.
In the darkness of the sea. I swim toward the light. Oh how bright it shines. Will I get there in a flash? Or is what I see beyond my reach.
Is it truly in the skys above or is it in the sea.
These cold nights only turn into long days. I pray for this feeling to drift away. So I close my eyes in hopes of dreams, not nightmares I can’t unsee. But I fear that day will never come. As I have been stuck here for far too long.
In this feeling of dismay, I pray to see a better day. So I wash my self away in this water. A place I see more fortune. A place where my minds at ease. I let these waves take me.
I wish for them to swallow me whole, I do not wish to come back to the shore. But I fight regardless as I fear a day I will only see complete darkness during the day.
And on that day I will pray, for me to return home again. No matter the pain it had bought me back then.
That girl, a world away
Does she think of me?
That girl, a world away
How to make her stay?
That girl, a world away
We would never be
That girl, a world away
Sleeps when I'm awake
That girl, a world away
I cannot unsee
That girl, a world away
Haunts me every day
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