She must have descended from Quakers
When I asked,"Is there any takers?"
To inherit a yard
Slapped her tushy real hard
So she left me a couple achers
I sat on the lovely mushroom village in the warm afternoon
Loving the feel of my soft tushy resting on a cushy mushroom
two faeries came by and I tried to catch them in a bowl.
They saw what I was attempting and laughed at my goal.
“We are sharper than that,” said the faerie boy named Snake.
His sister said, “Trying to catch us in a bowl was a huge mistake.”
I told them I meant them no harm, I just wanted an interview.
We are going to the skate park, we will return when we are through.”
"Make it so creamy!"
I had screamed super loudly
As he had creampied me.
He had thrusted so deeply,
As it spread down my tushy.
Chet was thrilled to be sent to Kanas City Mercy Hospital East
He had been told the food was great, hot bread made of yeast.
Their desserts are delicious, and their nurses are svelte and fine.
He could barely wait to have them look at his sore back behind.
He was all ready to have his fine tushy looked at by a queen.
He had heard their skin was super soft, and their attitudes keen.
Nurse Z arrived, carrying a syringe bigger than his grandpa Dean.
Chet jumped off his bed, ran down the hall, from then never seen.
She was a lithe and lively flexible acrobatic cat.
She was doing exercises when her bench went splat.
It’s a worn-out pumpkin, it was time, said her mother.
It is November sixth, added her annoyed stepbrother.
But I thought it would stay forever, she said.
She had fallen on her tushy and landed on her head.
You can have another one next Halloween.
Now stop having a fit, they both said to the teen.
Happy comfortable cow refuses to give up the blue chair
May’s husband is pouting. It is his recliner!
Irritating moods are wafting around in the air.
He is nice, the cow says, but I am much finer.
May is trying to make peace, but there is a lot of whining.
The cow’s tushy is happy, she is eagerly pressing buttons and reclining.
May’s husband is threatening to get a tractor and pull the cow away.
This is a predicament for the easily bamboozled overexcited May.
So You think the Toupee is Smart
An Orange little Toddler
Who Thought it was cool
To Hate People Who were Different
And Tweets without manners or rules
Where did He come from?
Who chose this crazy fool
Am I the only one that sees
Right is right and wrong is Trump
It is about time to wake up
Smell the Cesspool that has come
Time is short for those with a Heart
Being Inhumane is an evil crime
Think before You Support
Your Commander of the Camps
If You wish to live free
My advice is not to go grabbing a woman's front tushy
Little Miss Muffet
(Modern Version)
Little Miss Muffit sat on her tushy
Eating her curds and whey.
A great big spider sat down beside her
And was killed by a pesticide spray.
Barry Stebbings
18/6/2916
(Not really in favour of killing spiders)
Whaat, whaat, whaat are you doing?
IT’S TIME TO GET OUT OF BED!!!
Buut, buut, oh, where was I?
Oh yeah, IT’S TIME TO GET OUT OF BED!!!
Hey chicky, nice tushy you got there.
Don’t run, don’t make me chase you, baby
I don’t bite! Eh, eh, eh.
Oh by the way, IT’S TIME TO GET OUT OF BED!!!
Don’t, don’t, don’t I look good.
Watch me flap and ruffle my feathers.
Yes, yes, they are so beautiful.
HEY EVERYONE, LOOK AT MEEEE!!!
Who’s that? Who is entering MY coop?
Go ahead, if you try to grab one egg, I’ll kill you.
Are you new around here? Don’t you know I’m the boss?
No? I’m going to kill you anyways; ARGHHH!
It’s, it’s, it’s been a long day.
Hey chickies, stop running away.
Oh, and by, by, by the way;
IT’S TIME TO GO BACK TO BED!
I said
IT’S TIME TO GO BACK TO BED!!!
For Back to the Barnyard contest
OVERWEIGHT HUSBAND:
Chubby
Hubby
FLABBY STOMACH:
Jelly
Belly
A WELL PADDED BOTTOM:
Cushy
Tushy
WINNIE THE POOH ON A DIET:
Skinny
Winnie
(Froggy)
His big crooked smile; the bump on his nose;
His extra large feet with short stubby toes.
Eyes sort of popping beneath eyebrows bushy;
A spare tire middle with such a small tushy!
His loud guitar music; his funny guffaw;
His love poems so cheesy that fill her with awe;
His spending too much to save any money
Because he likes always pleasing his honey.
More froggy than prince, and odder than odd,
But that’s what she loves; he’s perfectly flawed.
(The Prince)
His brilliant white teeth; the cleft in his chin;
The beautiful body; the unblemished skin.
His elegant style; his baby blue eyes,
Manicured nails, costly suits and nice ties.
His house and his Benz; his deep golden tan:
All proof he’s a go-getting clever young man.
The many smart things to the right people said;
His time at the office so he’ll get ahead.
So seemingly flawless he just can’t see why
His girlfriend ran off with that flawed froggy guy!
For SKAT!
Politician; “IT’S NOT MY FAULT,”
as someone digs another burial vault.
If people think the job is cushy,
they can kiss my oval sitting tushy.
Politician; “I’M NOT TO BLAME,”
we had to play this stupid war game.
Always send our best, look how well they fought,
just measure the freedom their lives have bought.
Politician; “YOU HAVE NO PROOF,”
that WMD might have been a spoof.
We sent over teams of super sleuths,
bent their reports into convenient truths.
Politician; “I WILL SHOW NO SHAME,”
for losing this military shell game.
It’s my family legacy I did inherit,
now generations will have to share it.
*For the four sentences contest which seemed to reverberate past experiences. In no way is
this meant to cast any doubt on our brave military men and women who bear the first brunt.
I am having a wonderful day,
I love to laugh, I love to play,
The only thing I need to be happy would be,
My bottle, my teddy, and my pacifier you’ll see.
I just woke from a nice long nap,
I jump around the room, dance and clap,
My tummy is full from lunch and such,
I love to snack, I eat too much.
A rumble in my tummy has stopped my fun,
Starting to frown, my diaper comes undone,
Squinting my eyes, bending my knees,
I push until the problem springs free.
My tummy feels better but this I know,
A smells is following me now wherever I go,
My clean dry diaper is now warm and squishy,
And there’s something mushy on my tushy.
I am starting to get very nervous,
Do I have to cry louder to get faster service?
New diaper scented wipe then,
Clean drawers would make be happy again.
Down you upside hanging
By me danger dangling by
Bellybutton unsweatering
You sprite! Grin giggling
At me look laughing at
Legs in blue jean wrapping
You and tree branch playing
Just me girl game watching just
Wrists undressing, lil' tushy out peaking
On you keep swing-a-linging
For me song singing for
Finger gifts wind-dancing
By magic kisses you blowing
To me mush gushing to
Face o' yours flushing
You red from blood rushing
And me too blushing and
Feet maryjaned still on holding
To you boy-toying
After me trick scheming after
Hands stretch straight reaching
And you too much fun having
With me joke teasing, fooling with
Hair clean scenting the air swim-swishing
Around you and your Mom's calling
For me heart racing for
You and me to play without falling
For you too young for boy friending
For now me too young for dreaming for
Brown-eyed girl loving.
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