My dog looks at me,
don’t wanna know what he’s thinking
missing one testicle now,
'thanks to me'.
I offer him a treat a reward a bribe if you will
to forgive and forget, but.
He turns his head away from me.
“Come on boy” I say “it’s your favorite,
a bacon-flavored dog biscuit”, but then I think.
Not a fair trade by no means,
who am I kidding?
Categories:
testicle, dog,
Form: Free verse
Mind numbingly mortified at the nonsensical
By waking to find I’m without either testicle
[extract from Dumstruck Is Me for Your Funniest Couplet contest]
Sponsor: L Milton Hankins
Categories:
testicle, humorous,
Form: Couplet
Dumbstruck Is Me (a rhyming, acrostic kind of thing)
Discombobulated, how apt the word
Utterly gobsmacked by the absurd
Mind numbingly mortified at the nonsensical
By waking to find I’m without either testicle
Silenced as side by side they’re strung together
To hang on the wall there forever... and ever
Running around with another man’s wife
Until I returned to a well concealed knife
Could not comprehend the Snip! Cut! and Sever!
Knock me down with a feather
I’m finding my voice is now three octaves higher
She says that it’s my fault for poking the fire
Mandy, it’s not fair that I lie here dumbstruck
Even though I was a self serving dumbf...
10 August 2021
Contest: Dumbstruck
Sponsor: Charles Messina
Categories:
testicle, angst, betrayal,
Form: Rhyme
Just as I seem to have a great deal
to eco-healing say
in favor of positive energy democracy,
I long to hear much more
ego-healing positive win/win communication
highly regarding multicultural demographics,
cooperative economic-nutritional education,
eco-matriarchal spiritual naturality.
The opposite of all these blessings
is StraightMale
LeftBrain NorthWestern Geosphere
predative monocultural dominance,
both ego-testicle
and anthrowhite-supremacist.
Which feels like a whole lot
of negative
manic
autocratic energy
and absence of compassionate
eco-matriarchal communication.
My EarthMother,
and her MotherEarth,
deep learned me
way harmonic healthier than negative supremacy
when positive energy
remains a win/win opportunity.
Categories:
testicle, health, humor, mother, mother
Form: Political Verse
Hear me,
I’m going to try and be cheery
Cheer me,
Chirp like a bird when you wake up in the morning
you ain’t murdered there's no wake no mourning,
You’re alive and kicking,
stop kicking, ice cream licking
in hot hot summertime
it’s not not undercover time,
Feel the breeze, admire the trees, the cold rescind,
sunglasses see the wind lift up a skirt,
G string, wonderful thing eyes don't divert,
a fun pass sees us strip and bathe in sun, umm pervert,
turn red, geees lobstering, now that's gona hurt,
smile, some have one testicle,
vile, and one undetectable, laugh,
you full sacked, not half.
I told you I’m happy,
This a cheery attack,
hands together clappy,
clearly a happy chap,
rhyme well angry,
happy, I'm crap.
Categories:
testicle, fun,
Form: Rhyme
My priorities to flow free
connect rhymes like 4G
collecting the glory
like no one before me.
Record it cus I can,
with technology at hand,
make my own brand,
that so hard to understand?
You're adjacent to the testicle,
and you're not the other ball,
you hang and you dangle
redundant of mantle.
Actions indefensible leaving me offended,
while these rhymes I extract through my pencil are splendid,
you did what he did and he did what she did,
and that's how the sheep live.
We've herd it before,
you just reword it and bore,
your poetry is traditional,
I map out the additional.
The expectations should expect
the exceptional next step,
the evolution I project
is here to accept.
Categories:
testicle, confidence, poetry, vanity,
Form: Rhyme
Catch tooth to eat rock
Stomach needs right of life next
No forest to book
No food to cook
The weapon calls for scorched roast
Funny thunder mocks
Rainy autumn chokes
Castrated some eats ‘V’ toast
Testicle bans egg
Mouth tastes womb's rag
The table-chair s with boost
Whiskey, red level
Cheers up in giggle
Voice yelps to give right in noose
Frail bone pays blood fee
Death on kneel body
All or the reign in fraud worst
Frantic gaff enthrone
Superpower born
Voice comes- “Make empty Dead Sea,
You take doom tree and be free!”
-September 28, 2018 Chattogram
Categories:
testicle, political, satire, war,
Form: Choka
Maverick
- man
Legs
- long
Skirts
- sexy
Knickers
- knot
Manners
- misplaced
Breast
- Blossom
Breathe
- bare
Nipple
- Nudge
Heart
- huge
Loins
- looney
Fingers
- Fraught
Penile
- Pulse
Testicle
- Trouble
Horny
- Hornet
*****
- Propeller
Categories:
testicle, fun, nonsense,
Form: Free verse
Trump and Seminal Vesicle
Should see Trump's seminal vesicle
Has shriveled up just like his testicle
When you have heard his vernacular
Would think they were spectacular
Might be a dreamer who is mystical.
Jim Horn
Categories:
testicle, humorous,
Form: Limerick
I love using predictive text on my phallic,
It saves me so much hassle and time.
Just a couple of lettuce then the rest just flows,
Flows in a sweet little rhyme.
I don’t need to learn how to spelt with structure,
Use syntax or even use grandma.
I can type real fascist, whatever I want,
My fingers’ like a little jack hammer.
And the sentences appear perfect, I must have great speech,
I know how to wrist using diction
Shakespeare would be envious of how goon I can talk,
Talk with my phone’s text prediction.
Categories:
testicle, humorous, technology,
Form: Quatrain
In my window there are two beautiful orchids
They do best in east facing window with morning sun
sheltered for the hottest sun of the day
There are many myths about the Orchid
One of those is the shape of the tubers
It is said that the name orchid comes from the Greek 'testicle'
Seed pods containing several millions microscopic seeds
How awesome .........
The first orchid farmers were Chinese
Already for a few thousand years ago, the Orchid used for decoration
Some would say that the Orchid is a plant parasitism - it's just a myth
The plant can live for example on the trees but not of the trees
One day if you go past my window - see how beautiful my Orchids are
07.03.2014
A-L Andresen :)
Categories:
testicle, beauty, flower,
Form: Free verse
The Bell's testicle
Frenchkissed its thighs with passion
A groan of pleasure.
Categories:
testicle, funny, imagination,
Form: Haiku