Taxidermist Poems | Examples


Only the Unremembered will Remember You

Give me a memory
that never did occur,
not to you or anyone else.

Life is full of recollections
they sprout like scenic views
of a dead planet.
The past is only resurrected
by the already dead.

When you pass go
you have not left the prison
you have jumped back into it.

O my poor dead lovers,
my enemies and pals.
O all those poor begotten weeds
of momentary flesh,

let us once more besiege
any musty, old curiosity shop
beg a hoary taxidermist,
once more
for an everlasting history
of all that never was.
Categories: taxidermist, poetry,
Form: Free verse

Premium Memberthe triple cat Doo

We dance to the bohemian sixties, wild and free
Sang out the teased up high hair trio of three
We call it the triple cat do, the triple cat do.
Stand back as we meow and mew all over you.

I had not met them before, but they were scary to me
So I hid in the closet as they twirled with glee
Their hair piled high on top of each skinny head.
Each one of them looked like she wore a cat, stiff and dead.

Oh, yes, we are dancing the triple cat do, the triple cat do.
Stand back they warned the crowd. We are coming for you!
A taxidermist might have known what to do.
I turned tail and ran from the Triple Cat Doo.
Categories: taxidermist, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form: Rhyme


Premium MemberInternal Organs

Ernest was a taxidermist.
Who stuffed birds and animals the firmest.
Ernie had made a name,
In the taxidermist game,
He was also a professional internist.
Categories: taxidermist, 10th grade,
Form: Limerick

Premium MemberCaution Too Dirty For Some

The taxidermist was shocked to his teeth.
Called to home of sassy widow of Keith.
“Need to stuff him good.
Make him straight as he stood.
When I go, carefully place me beneath.”
Categories: taxidermist, humorous,
Form: Limerick

Overstuffed

A taxidermist, here doth lie ~
He stuffed himself with too much pie!


15.11.20

Du-O Your Two Line Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Brian Strand
Categories: taxidermist, humor,
Form: Epitaph


Premium MemberBye-Bye-Birdie

pieces of candy
in the sky 
amidst the trees
songs sashay
upon the breeze
a taxidermist dream
Categories: taxidermist, nature,
Form: Elegy

Premium MemberDead Roach Activity

The dead roach with its upended crinkly legs
has been lying in the windowsill for at least four weeks.
I would get rid of it, except...
nothing has amused me for years half as much
as people's horrified reactions when they notice her.
This poor ugly black dead thing.
I have decided to have a tiny plaque made, and a little glass coffin.
I will put her into the coffin, and glue my "snow white" plaque on the side,
ever so sweetly.
I will caution the taxidermist to make sure the legs remain up, as it is the cutest thing.
I will then pay him to stuff and stand seven little dead flies or ants.
His choice.
I will put little hats and vests on them and label them too.
Grumpy will really look grumpy.
This will bring the dead roach to a whole new level.
It might even embarrass the custodian,
but as she clearly has not noticed this dead roach in four or five weeks,
perhaps not.
Categories: taxidermist, 3rd grade, 4th grade,
Form: Light Verse

Trial and Error

old cocoon
stolen taxidermist
stone puddles
Categories: taxidermist, children, write,
Form: Senryu

Professional Epitaphs

PANED REFLECTIONS

Here lies the glazier, Peter Lee
His wife is shattered, naturally!


LAST NIGHTS ON THE TILES

Alas poor Joe, I knew him well
He fixed my roof before he fell!


SNAKE IN THE GRASS

Here lie the bones of Jones the vet
Inside his boa constrictor pet!


HE KNEW HIS STUFF

Ted,  taxidermist,  here doth lie
He stuffed himself with too much pie!


HAMMERED HOME

Here lies my auctioneer friend, Ron
His final ‘going, going gone!’


14/09/18
Categories: taxidermist, humorous,
Form: Epitaph

Poetry Flow

If your brain's causing you strain
And you want to flow your poetry again,
Then stop going to your taxidermist 
And you will fire up your furnace,
I really think he's stuffing up you brain.
Categories: taxidermist, funny,
Form: Limerick

Teddy Bear - Strange Love

Teddy Bear - Strange Love 

Our new neighbors have guns and drugs
They call me Teddy
Silly!....my toy is Teddy…. Teddy Bear
They must be crazy
I love my little bear
We’re happy happy happy skipping down the street!
One day the neighbor guy took my teddy
Threw him in the air
Like a taxidermist dream
I screamed, “Teddy can’t fly leave him be!” 
The bad man zeroed in on Teddy 
With an AK-47 in hand
And blew my friend away.
The tiny head flew off
Stuffing everywhere
Daddy!
Oh Daddy come quick!
I think my teddy is sick!
Categories: taxidermist, best friend, crazy, education,
Form: Free verse

Taxidermist

~Taxidermist~
Dear little blue bird sitting on the mat
Please don’t poop on it because it isn’t tat.

That’s it, sit on the bird bath there on the rim
You look a fine little chap sitting there so trim.

I am a taxidermist and I am after a blue tit
Why don’t you jump on my hand so I can see, and you can have a little sit?

My collection lacks a bird; we could perhaps make a date
It’s a pity you are alone I could do with your little mate

You would fill the place nicely it’s a pity you are not red
But I can soon paint you up as I am a taxidermist- I think I  said.

no offense to real taxidermists out there I know you do not do this xx
Competition Entry: For Catie Lindsey comp: Word Games.
© 1/06/2012 ~GG~
Categories: taxidermist, funny, bird, bird, blue,
Form: Couplet
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