I once knew a seer, name of Hortense
Who specialized in ominous portents
Said I should marry a toad
Long as he cleaned and he sewed
I said, ‘You go first ~ It makes so much sense’
Diddly Squat ain’t ‘not a lot’ for it’s nothing at all
Not a few, nor one or two, and it won’t fill a hall
For diddly squat ain't half a pot
It’s like the muse I’ve got
For diddly squat is ‘out of stock’, nada and sod all
16 July 2021
Sponsor: Line Gauthier
For contest: Bitesize poem number 13
Why are women so appealing, what's all the fuss
Don't understand, they're all people just like us
Well sometimes they're not
Instead of standing they squat
That why us gents give them our seat on a bus
Why are women so appealing, what's all the fuss
Don't understand, they're all people just like us
Well sometimes they're not
Instead of standing they squat
That why us gents give them our seats on a bus
People often ask me
What it is I've got
That makes me so happy
When clearly others aren't
Then they tend to wonder
If I'm putting on a front
But when you want for nothing
There's nothing that you want
Where everything I own and need
Could fit in a paper bag
Again there's nothing that I want
That I do not have
Which keeps it rather simple
Where no battles need be fought
When all I want or even own
Is nothing but Diddly Squat
There's a certain amount of freedom
That can't be denied
When everything you own in life
You carry by your side
And if by chance you lose it
It's not a case of do or die
Because the little stuff's not worth sweating
In the larger scope of life
With nothing here to cling to
But me, myself, and I
And a few essentials
I keep by my side
All I bring to the party
Is me, I'm the entire lot
Easy said and easy done
With nothing but Diddly Squat
When we get to the ripe old age of 80 plus
Our memory can deceive us without much fuss
Remember diddley squat
Frustrates me a lot
Oh to be young and virile with charm surplus
Funny talk... "diddly squat"
Means basically nothing to me!
Where do these words come from?
Do they grow these things on trees?
What a joke... "a pig in a poke"
Fooled unsuspecting buyers!
Instead of a piggy inside the bag
Twas a kitty cat for the fryer!
But of course... "hay's for horses"
Here's another reason to spend?
Some stuffing for your Jockeys
To give you a fuller front end!
Just my luck... "I'm a dead duck"
She caught me with this lady!
Not to worry, it all turned out
Twas Mom so nothing shady!
Whadya think... "Take forty winks"
Causes trouble with wifey poo!
Of course if you wink at a filly
And the filly winks back at you!
It's really absurd... these silly words
They upset our daily routine!
They've been known to turn sunny days
To the ugliest days ever seen!
© Jack Ellison 2013
the saddest thought -
to have lived for naught
“So tell me,” I asked the young boy,
“to whom does one owe Christmas joy?”
But the lad looked at me
and just said, “Can’t you see?
It means when you get the best toy!”
“Do you know why the wise men rode far
on their camels to follow a star?”
With surprise in his eyes,
he said, “How were they wise?
They should have just driven a car!”
“Do you know why we have Christmas day?”
But here’s all the poor kid could say:
“You spoke of some dude
that those ‘wise guy’ pursued.
Just WHO was this ‘star’ anyway?”
For PD's the 101 contests in a row --- 20 (Christmas Poems)Poetry Contest
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