There was once, a clever man called Tim
His abrasive, smelly wife was called Vim,
Her head too big for her boots,
Such a nasty person, who wished some no good,
Tim being so handsome, got all the looks,
Whilst she was looked upon with disdain
Again and again and again and again.
They bought a house in an upbeat snobby area,
Her idea, and next door lived a lady called Sahra.
A cultured person whose background, much like Tim’s
Tim and Sahra got on like a house on fire,
Whilst our know all rude wifey, Vim,
Found her own kind in Sahra’s slobby husband, Skim.
Conveniently they had no children, Tim and Vim,
So got divorced, and then Tim married Sahra,
And now they have a pigeon pair
A girl and a boy,
The boy so young, yet so debonair,
His name is Terra,
The little girl blonde and pretty like Sarah,
Terra’s looks Latino like, just like his dad Tim,
Granny s fav the little girl, whose name is Kim.
Well what happened with the slobs Vim and Skim,
Does anyone care, a true story I wished to share.
All of my life, I have had "flat feet".
A mild defect, I am no athlete!
I could never run fast,
got so easily gassed.
How I longed to have feet that were fleet!
When I was young, I wore leg braces,
orthotic boots, with long boot laces.
When I tried to run and jump,
I looked like young Forrest Gump
and saw snobby looks on kids' faces.
They, the flock of cockatoo
Living together, form a society
And crackling all time
Discussing things might
I cognize anything of that
What I do understand for sure
They, the highness, are proud
Of living in the trees, a tribe life
Or flying in the sky, cloud alike
They care me not for sure
Especially as to my thoughts
They,snobby,come to me
Not for what I said
But for whatever they can get
Draggletailed drippy dreary Doris Mable did not fit in
With her uppity, snobby, snooty, pompous pampered kin
The kids said Aunt Doris Mable, you can sit at our table
They had knowledge of a babe, a manger, and a stable
Mama’s chili pot put out a call
Wanting a variety of beans in the fall
Forty-nine types of beans showed up in all
Auditions were conducted by me and Saul
Lima beans were boring, dull and bland.
Chili beans are always close at hand.
Pork and beans were stuck up and snobby.
Garbanzo beans were hard and knobby.
We finally chose six types of beans.
Together they made the chili fit for queens.
Mama’s chili was better than ever before.
We kicked the limas and garbanzos out the door.
I’ve decided to have me a seat and tell you what’s on my mind.
The following words are original, they are nobody else’s but mine.
They may not be very polished, and my grammar might not be just right.
I will never be a great poet, but I sleep quite well at night.
This is not some artificial intelligence, it’s just my fingers on keys.
These rhymes are just for fun, kind of like the birds and the bees.
There is no one I seek to impress, just hoping for a smile or two.
My grass will never be greener, and my sky contains the same blue.
I might write a little about faith, or maybe my incredible wife.
You might hear a line about gas or some of the truth in my life.
Feel free to turn up your nose, you will find that I really don’t care.
I will always be true to my friends, and immune to each snobby stare.
Go ahead and copy my words, you can even pass them off as your own.
My walls are all made of glass, so it can be you to cast the first stone.
Feel free to do as you please, our admin will not even look.
The dishonest will continue to plagiarize, then brag about writing a book.
There once was a chef very snobby
Who made sushi at home as a hobby
Horseradish was great
But did not please his date
So with sharkskin he grated wasabi
At the Dating Auction
Anne drew
Andrew
A Mere Lord
Baron
Aaron
Big City Guy
Boston
Austin
He Who Crashes Weddings
Crasher
Asher
Bird Boy’s Best Feature
Allan’s
Talons
Scam Man
Shady
Brady
The Arrogant One
Snobby
Bobby
Christmas Guy
Merry
Barry
Halloween Guy
Scary
Barry
The Proposal
Baxter
asked her
After Laying Out
Darker
Barker
Twinkle Toes
Sparkly
Barkley
The Water’s Fine
Wade in,
Brayden
Brave Heart
Lion
Bryan
knobby bobby
underwear out
snobby hobby
butterfly snout
rhyming timing
old pig meat shout
priming rhyming
fun words about
She looks snobby, judgemental Linda said.
I observed the newcomer who looked a bit stand-offish.
But perhaps it is because I had not met her yet.
I ran up to tell her that I liked her costume.
She was pure steampunk all the way.
She was a lovely woman, ready to converse with a stranger, me.
We hit it off and sat together for that supper and next day’s lunch.
The convention lasted a week, and I saw her often.
She always smiled, waved and said “hello”.
I never thought my new friend looked or acted snobby.
But judgemental Linda is not as open to meeting new people as I am.
She wandered around alone most of that week, looking miserable.
I thought about spending time with Linda, but then I remembered
How judgemental she is, so I saved myself from her.
It’s finally my turn to speak
I had enough of being meek
You enjoy bullying the weak
Insults have reached their peak
You’re a conniving little sneak
A hustler every day of the week
Should I let you hit my other cheek?
I’m out! You’re a snobby antique
Meet Tweedle Dum and Tweedle-Dee
Two of a kind they lived in a tree
Way up high on the upper most branch
Not afraid of heights but why take a chance
I fail to see why they're living up there
They don't have a bed, they don't have a chair
Must be uncomfortable and hard on the bum
Hope they're not bothered by splinters, by gum
These guys are strange, they're nincompoops
They've never liked living in community groups
Independent old souls most all of their lives
Some call 'em snobby, these guys they deride
Society is made up of all different trolls
Some are hot headed with holes in their souls
Some are real happy, like those guys the best
Sure happy I got that stuff off of my chest
Meet Tweedle Dum and old Tweedle-Dee
Two of a kind they both lived in a tree
If you want my opinion and very sage advice
Get the hell down I won't tell you twice
Cardinal wearing a bright orange vest
Lights quite close to my squirrel’s nest
I asked her if this was a crazy test
She flew off snobby, which was the best.
Later I wondered about her sordid quest
As I gobbled walnuts from my warm sweet nest
The barnyard was a twitter.
“She is walking pigeon-toed!”
“You should see it.”
“She thinks she is all that!”
I am dragged out to see.
After listening to them cackle like only hens can do.
There are sixty-six hundred chickens out here
Clucking around.
They are all walking around pigeon-toed.
Haughty with their snobby beaks in the air.
I catch the rooster’s eye.
“They all have fat butts too!” I say.
Expecting him to beak-laugh with me.
He gives them my message in beak-talk.
They surround me quickly
Pecking me to death
As per
instructions
and as per
chickens’ way
I decide never to
do that again.
As I fall into their
smelly chicken scratches.
Adorned in silky taffeta she strides,
cool, crisp, and confident.
With delicate lacy trim she glides,
a snobby sophisticated countenance,
behind which a volatile temper hides.
Once quiet and sultry,
now chilling and unpredictable - she chides;
burning cold upon her breath
and breast where nature's wrath resides.
We've seen her dance before -
our tempestuous bride.
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