Smartass Poems | Examples


A Warner Brothers Icon

Bugs Bunny
was New York smartass funny:
he showed no fondness for parrots,
but was well-disposed towards carrots.
Categories: smartass, life,
Form: Clerihew

2012

I wished for love to come and find me and that’s how our story began
You invaded my world with your charm and understanding heart
I knew you were different from the start 
We had many ups and downs, with a few bad falls
Just being with you, we have been thru it all
You listened without any judgment and did your best to stay
We are friends with so much love between us, yet seem so far away
How did we let everything go wrong when our connection was so strong?
You would always come back to me and pick up the pieces, put them together to make it complete
I’m afraid you won’t come back this time that you closed that door on our relationship 
My time with you I have always cherished
Our time apart helps me remember how much you are missed
You always make me smile at everything with the smartass things you say
And the goofy things you do, with things like that, that is what makes you YOU
All we have been thru has been worth it to have gotten us this far
Just know I still have love for you
Categories: smartass, first love, heartbreak, love,
Form: Rhyme


Premium MemberSmartass Crows

Crows are it when it comes to brains
They blow me away, their intelligence is plain 
Check out their feats
Only missing speech
Sidestep obstacles for a crow that's insane
Categories: smartass, smart,
Form: Limerick

Premium MemberWhale Farts

Whale fart bubbles are big enough to swallow a horse
Can't imagine how they know, must have an underwater source
Maybe some smartass starfish
With a human-like gift
Thinks he's world-famous and looks great in fish shorts
Categories: smartass, silly,
Form: Limerick

Premium MemberBlue Whale Farts

Blue whale fart bubbles are big enough to swallow a horse
Can't imagine how they know, must have an underwater source 
Maybe a smartass starfish
With a human-like gift
Thinks he's world-famous and looks great in fish shorts
Categories: smartass, inspirational,
Form: Limerick


Premium MemberSmartass Crows

Give a crow a challenge, they show off their brain power
Smartass birds, smarter than your average rooster
Brains figure it out
Really no doubt
Watched their unbelievable feats, amazed by the hour
Categories: smartass, bird,
Form: Limerick

Angry Ex-On-A-Roll

You called me a smartass, and this I must confess,
                  it’s better than that other part it seems that you know best.

Your better half you called your man and this seems sensible,
	     A donkey and a horse must breed to make a jackass whole.

Understand this now you shrew my punches I won’t pull,
	     I’d rather be a smartass than a dumbass for a fool.

You thought the grass was greener over on the other side,
	     Well I suppose no one will care where heifer’s choose abide.

Upon mature reflection I should thank you on my knees
	     The girls tell me I’ve aged like wine and you… well then there’s cheese.

Now now don’t get all upset I’m sure he loves you girl,
                   Just be prepared: those knee-knockers? They’re gonna make him hurl.
Categories: smartass, anger, angst, break up,
Form: Couplet

Ruined

so i'm playing cards one day with Jesus
And coarse Jesus is a smartass so he asking stupid question
so he said "how do you ruin Muddauah?"
so I said
"Make sure the Hosea never shows his birth"
Categories: smartass, allah,
Form: Free verse

Premium MemberSave Your Lousy Self

Save Your Lousy Self


Save your pity for a fool that is not witty
  save your sorrow for a jerk with no tomorrow
Save your scorn for your future unborn
  save your smartass for another dumbass
Save your lies for your coming black eyes
  save your taste for your own stupid waste
Save your frown for another silly clown
  save your next scam for your next big ham
Save your mistakes for your jump in the lake
  save your life for terrible and massive strife!
Save your love for next disease you can't get rid of
  save your mess for your next boatload of stress
Save your speech for your next loud screech
  save your help for your next born welp
Save your cries for your next false guise
  save your stand for your next super lousy band
Save your gasps for your next futile grasps
  save your retreat for your next huge defeat
Save your fall for your next crash into the wall
  save your pain for your next car wreck in the rain!

An exercise in "saving" for frugal people that are lousy scoundrels!!
I wrote this with a fool I know from my wild young days in mind...
A little slam for fun.....
Categories: smartass, rude, slam,
Form: Rhyme

Beneath Your Disgust

Things of disgust.
Terror in my eyes.
Behold your power.
Your smartass replies.

I'm beneath you.
Look down on me.
I know it free's you.
The power you hold over me.
I'm beneath you.
Talk down to me.
I don't believe this.
The power you had over me.

Things of disgust.
The fear above my head.
Behold your character.
The bringer of dread.
Categories: smartass, absence
Form: ABC

Subtle Time

time moves in subtle leaps an bounds,
an older still is this old hound,
i write the tripe that comes to me,
from some smartass, surreptously,
not necessarily me,
but i am the channel medium,
found, who writes it down,
4 thee....

thank you Lizzie Treetop's, 

"mirror poem"

Don
Categories: smartass, adventure,
Form: Rhyme

Damned Love

Staring hard at what I wish I had
Just one more time
Sucking your body
My teeth in your flesh
Pressing you into me
Our bodies enmeshed
Into a love knot I feel in my mind
Dreaming that reality was not so unkind
I’m a lover, I’m a poet, and a smartass
Don’t you know it
I like my beer and my fun
But my love is forever son
I promise you that
Categories: smartass, girlfriend-boyfriendlove,
Form: I do not know?
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