Slimming Poems


Overweight

Please, continue with your exercise
To sensibly check your goddamned size
And profitably win A Painless Prize:
For The Sport Body Ounce must not rise;
For contests a loss The Bone dries
And no blunders in the end seem wise…

Please, continue to watch overweight 
That could make Coveted Prizes wait
And Expected Honors arrive late
And you leave in melancholic state…

In Boxing make you A Punching Bag,
Fellow The Rival to along drag;
Blows keep landing on, until you sag
And the floor wipe with: A Piteous Rag!

Please, Exercises, not Slimming Pills
Yes, Exercises with Honest Thrills!
Categories: slimming, body, fun, health, prison,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberBefore and After

Before and after 
May show a positive difference
Like a weight loss program
That deceives and soothes people's eyes
But never time and aging
Time comes and goes
Aging lingers and deteriorates
And both of them leave or linger
Without any concrete reasons 
And of course
Without your permission 
And of course 
Without the control of man
Categories: slimming, age, time,
Form: Free verse


Slimming Tm

Once when an overweight boy, named JOE BLOGGS,
    Tried slimming on cornflakes, made by KELLOGGS.
    Then with an APPLE each day,
    To keep DOC MARTIN away.
    Gave up AFTER EIGHT, MCDONALD'S mac dogs.
    
 

    Sponsor Sara Kendrick.
    12 / 24 / 2020.
Categories: slimming, addiction, desire, food,
Form: Limerick

A Slimming World Valentine

She’s the icing on a birthday cake 
The sausage in a roll
The jam in your dough nut 
The hotdog in the roll
The custard on a spotted dick
The hundreds and thousands on a cone
It’s a shame she’s food optimising
and the syns are really high  
Its all about how much lettuce is on the salad
The fat content of the meat 
How much speed foods is piled  up on her plate
and What  syn's are in the yoghurt's 
and whats the readings on the scales 
The goods news is 
Roses don’t have calories
But they do look really sweet
So no rose shaped chocolate boxes  
No fine dining restaurant meals
Just a salad box and a diet coke from subway
for my valentines this year .
Categories: slimming, fun,
Form: Free verse

Slimming World Success

Don’t wait to lose that weigh you hate.
Don’t leave it for another week sign up quick its not too late.
And you  will  become a right, light weight.
Be an angel and don’t you syn
And in your group slimmer of the week you will win. 
And we are all you’re journeys soul mates.
The ups the downs we can all relate.
But here at slimming world we are into losing weight.
And your success we celebrate.
Categories: slimming, celebration,
Form: Rhyme


Slimming Diet--Footles

TAKING OFF THE FAT

--At 185 Pounds--
Weight loss
Exhausts


--Nutritionist's Guide--
Fastfood
No good


--Doctor's Advice--
Workout
No doubt


--Monk's Prescription--
Yoga 
Goodah


--Support Group's Slogan--
Let's quit
Do it


--My Choice--
Did try
Goodbye



Contest: March Of The Footle 
Dated  Mar 7 2016
Categories: slimming, health, how i feel,
Form: Footle

Slimming Numbers

Give food a number
Count as you eat all day long
Exceed the total?
Categories: slimming, food,
Form: Haiku

The Joys of a Slimming Club

They promise it is personal
No –one knows your weight
You step trembling on the scales
To hear the awful fate

You’ve put a kilo on she says
With a bell on every tooth
Been a naughty girl have we
We had better take a look

You sit around her on your chair
Waiting for the truth to emerge
You clap the clever ones who lost weight
For you  it will be a dirge

Now then come on admit it
What have we had naughty this week
She goes through your eating list
Me I can hardly speak

Ahh here it is she says triumphantly
You dared to eat some duck
With orange sauce I do not doubt
Geez I thought just my luck

No I said it was the bananas
In milk shake everyday
Cos I had tonsillitis
I just about could say

Just like a child at christmas
I promised to be good
Losing some kilos next week
Just better forget about food.
Categories: slimming, food, funny,
Form: Light Verse

Slimming

Shadorma (slimming) 

Low fat cheese
Tastes like rubber soles
For weight loss
I eat it
Abusing my true taste buds
 And I am still fat
Categories: slimming, funny,
Form: Shadorma

Slimming Down

I strive for simple life and simpler deeds,
Cut down on needs,
And minimize the multiples of me,
And wriggle free
Of whirligig complexity.
Categories: slimming, philosophy
Form: Verse
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