Delighting our Black Caps chaps
Uniting fans fighting nite nite naps
Gaslighting Indian foes mishaps
Rewriting those cricketing maps
As the Black caps hit their straps
Darryl the toast the host soul saps
Gunbarrel straight out of the traps
They unravel yet another six slaps
Our great festive carol never flaps
A late Christmas pressie unwraps
Flicks & tricks spate picks the gaps
Indian spinners fate sinners lapse
Black caps chaps claps & back slaps
Kiwi yippee we see diddy GP scraps
Even that fat cat Virat finally snaps
Zen of Darryl and Glen victory laps
After white-wash a chance perhaps?
Hitch both Ajaz & Mitch under wraps
No Will or Matt but still Indians zaps
The plush crushed can’t turn off taps
Out gunned out spun another collapse
Lush waves rush flush with Black caps
I have a gross handicap:
While sleeping retains my cap,
As I read feet in shoes tap
And easily a work “Crap!”
…And spoiled kids’ knuckles rap;
During sermon daring a nap,
Bathsheba survey her lap;
For my trips shun the best map…
Can I crush my handicap?
Enough to energy sap:
Eccentric wings stop their flap
While Handicap fills some gap…
But die could most handicaps:
As easy as rats in traps;
Sure, a cop and his hard slaps
Orders for water to start laps.
Leslie Neilson
Straight faced reveals a pun
But what surely made him squirrely
They wouldn't stop calling him Shirley
Leslie Neilson
Armed with wit and naked gun
Genius buffoonery unparalleled
Save for what Peter Seller's Clueso upheld
Leslie Neilson
Dracula loving it as a dead one
Giving Renfield insect currency
And causing Mel brooks an emeRRRgency
Leslie Neilson
A parody on the run
Of spoofery not wrongfully accused
Only keeping us hysterically amused
Hope you know your Leslie Neilson movies for clearance, Clarence.
Roger, Roger.
There should be clearer signs,
as a relationship starts to break up
- the hiss of steam, a twist of smoke perhaps
or debris distributed across a hot,
cloudless, summer evening sky.
That way, the force of recognition
wouldn’t be so much of a slap.
5:11 a.m.
I woke up an hour ago
Wondering which school I go to today as I have two
One is Monday Friday, the other Tuesday through Thursday
It took me almost forty minutes to remember it is Saturday.
5:18 a.m.
Dog is barely awake, pink tongue lolling about.
Almost falling off the couch, lying upside down
With her paws in the air.
Is she dead? I peer closely, and notice her stomach moving.
5:25 a.m.
Coffee slaps my enzymes awake.
They bat her away, wanting more sleep
I am taking big gulps now.
A day without the stress of traffic?
I am determined to enjoy every last second of it.
I had broke with me Lilly
to gain the likes of Ms. Tilly
I nicely asked her out on a date with glee
but she told me to jump in the sea
the winds were fierce and the temp was chilly
the waves tossed and slapped me silly.
I went back to me Lilly
was wrong for leaving
I begged for forgiveness
I was tossed and slapped silly!!!
went back to the sea in desperation
me life was no longer meaningful
I jumped into the waves
it wouldn’t take me out
but again it slapped me silly.
Tanka – Sea Slaps Shore
Somber cirrus clouds
gathered in tranquil blue sky
as boisterous sea
attacked melancholy shore,
slapping it with tidal waves.
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