Funny Simple Poems

Once I had left my tea to cool
and two giraffes thought me a fool
they stuck their heads in
and formed a big grin
before drinking my tea....

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I fear I've lost the light
In this storm of chocolate rain
Muddy waters cloud my sight 
Within this foul smelling haze 
But I know I'll make...

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Who pooped my pants?
I ask in vain                  ...

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My heart begins to sink
As my skin begins to quiver
I've been swept to the brink
By regrets flowing like a river 
So what am I to...

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The vending machine, though filled to the brim 
now stands with a sign, my joy growing dim 
out of order it reads, my heart does...

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There are 12 types of joy:
simple joy
almost joy
systemic joy
Saturday joy
expressing joy
knowing joy
all joy
max joy
constant inputs of joy
single greatest joy
sacrifice or joy
the face of joy
at the...

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There once was a snowman named Ray
Who dreamed of a tropical bay
He packed his sunscreen
And flew to the scene
But melted as soon as he lay


*I...

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Oh, how I dread the horrid sight
of that nasty slop, what a wretched plight.
Its stench invades my twitching nose
I turn away, but my nausea grows....

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All
True
Goths
Covet
Lace
Vampires
Lightning
Spiders
Coffins
And
Poetry



*I wrote this poem on January 8, 2024, as part of a ’30 days of poetry’ January challenge. This was day 8 and the prompt...

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There was a young woman from Crewe
So drunk that she puked in her shoe
The old biddy who saw
Dropped her mouth down in awe
For they were...

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Bike to ramp and from ramp to tree
In just a second you can feel the hit
Hanging midair is a time of glee
Adrenaline rush with teeth...

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Pith is pithier than pithy
-it’s not a question of if.
You know atoms are tiny
when you get at ‘em.
Sometimes they’re the point.
Meanings have layers
like lasagna.
Two or...

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Funny how I went from the energetic Young Man 
Always eager to be seen and heard
To the same energetic Young Man
Who now cares less about...

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It’s a cuppa made for me in the morning
Our first cuddle of the day
Him just knowing what I like
His insight with my funny, strange ways

It’s...

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A V.I.P, Our Queen you see. There will never be anyone else quite like her.
Always dressed in her Absolute best, nothing more and nothing less.
Her...

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