Silliest Poems | Examples

Bird or Fish

Birds stay in the sky where they belong.
They fly about.  They sing a song.
You'll hear a black crow loudly cackle.
You'll see a pigeon or a grackle.
But fish, are found only in the water.
They stay in oceans where they oughter, 
where an octopus (with charm) disarms,
employing his collection of arms.
So, while, you might think it is absurd, 
the silliest question you ever heard,
I ask, is a penguin a fish or bird?

Poetry Challenge Poem Number Four writing in awe of the Man I adore

                               I know your challenge is a key

                                You, dear man, believe in me

                                  So long my muse has

                                     Flown from sight

                                       Now here I sit 

                                       My challenge?

                                             Write!

                                        The sweetest guy

                                           I am in awe

                                          These poems?

                                     The silliest I ever saw.

                             But challenge me, and I will write!

                                   How many will I do tonight?

                               Poet friends, be patient please

                                 As finally I'm writing! These!

it is back home

Turtle came in with the world’s silliest grin
It split his face in two, and was long as his chin
Whipped out the birthday sign with a flourish all gay
Which meant it took him the best part of a day

He was sixty-three days late, but that did not matter.
Turtle is usually a little bit slower, he is not a mad hatter.
I thanked him profusely wondering if the card was all I would get.
Your present is back home, he told me. I’ll be back in a bit.

Some Sillies

Put your hands up those who want more sillies
Counted six thousand, one hundred and forty
Seems like a bunch of you still like to giggle
Be assured, more's coming up shortly

First one, how does one make holy water?
That's easy, you boil the hell out of it
That's really quite funny and extremely clever
A copyright I've got in my mitts

They say nobody is perfect, well I'm a nobody
So it follows I must be perfect
If four out of five suffer from diarrhea
Must mean one person enjoys it's effects

A computer once actually beat me at chess
But it's no match for me at kick boxing
Beat the poop out of that annoying computer
Other laptops thought it was shocking

I say no to alcohol, but it just doesn't listen
That's the silliest thing I've ever heard
Whenever I talk quietly to my Bloody Caesar
It answers, “you are totally absurd!”

Whad'ya call a boomerang that won't come back
I guess I'd just call it a stick
What do you give a woman who has it all
Your phone number of course, Mr. Slick

Freckles: the Silliest Poem I Ever Wrote

Author's note: I dug deep into my archives chest to retrieve this piece of utter nonsense, dear readers, because I thought it would make a good submission for April Fool's Day...


Freckles!
People who have freckles
Are sometimes people who eat pickles.
But pickles have bumps,
They don't have freckles.
Bumpy people are often fickle
And won't eat pickles without freckles.
A squash with speckles might be pickled,
But is no sub for freckled pickles,
Which is being pickle fickle.
If someone earned a nickel
For every pickle with a freckle,
He'd have to gorge on hordes of pickles
Just to make one lousy nickel.
Now I'm in a poetic pickle
And my brain is overworkin',
So freckled people don't be fickle,
Avoid the sun and eat a gherkin.


Autor's PS: This piece, as I recall, started out to be a parody of the song "People" from the musical "Funny Girl", but quickly took a very sharp left turn and turned out quite differently.

Return of the Sillies

Put your hands up those who want more sillies
Counted six thousand, one hundred and forty
Seems like a bunch of you still like to giggle
Be assured, more's coming up shortly

First one, how does one make holy water?
That's easy, you boil the hell out of it
That's really quite funny and extremely clever
A copyright I've got in my mitts

They say nobody's perfect, well I'm a nobody
So it follows I must be perfect
If four out of five suffer from diarrhea
Must mean one person enjoys it's effects

A computer once actually beat me at chess
But it's no match for me at kick boxing
Beat the poop out of that annoying computer
Other laptops thought it was shocking

I say no to alcohol, but it just doesn't listen
That's the silliest thing I've ever heard
Whenever I talk quietly to a Bloody Caesar
It answers, “you are totally absurd!”

Whad'ya call a boomerang that won't come back
I guess I'd just call it a stick
What do you give a woman who has it all
Your phone number of course, Mr. Slick

On Christmas Day

"Travel light" Santa said to me as I grappled for all my most   
treasured belongings. I stuffed them all in a duffle bag, then with the silliest 
of grin on my face I said, " Ready"  
The ride up was exhilarating to say the least, and the landing well 
lets just say I don't recall getting there...
It felt like I was placed in a big glass bauble filled with tinsel,
joyful elves and little miniscule hourglasses containing reflective 
light particles that flew out into the atmosphere through 
smokescreen windows, tinted with pink magic glass.  
I was tired from the trip so Santa led me to this little room made of logwood, 
then he handing me a peppermint hot chocolate and said, " good good dreams, my girl " 
What did I dream you ask ? Well, its much too long to retell today, 
you will just have to wait until tomorrow,  when its Christmas day !

Slaphappy

I'm usually known for my silly stuff
But once in a while I surprise
Drooling all over my keyboard and yours
With mushy stuff I fantasize

At times been known to wear different hats
Contrary to what you may think
Can be sillier than the silliest damn jester
Then switch as quick as a wink

Become all gushy and mushy and stuff
Talk of flowers and eternal love
Then sure as shootin' it's back to the sillies
Giving your giggler a tug

This back and forth stuff is really quite dizzying
Imagine if I wrote about dying
Some are obsessed with negative things
If I said that was me I'd be lying

It's not for me, that tear jerky stuff
Guess my life's been too bloody happy
Sure not complaining I'm a perky old geezer
Maybe a better word is slaphappy

Im Not a Robot

The silliest sentence in the world.
I see that, and why does is not ask..
Is my hair straight or curled?

And if it is for security.....
Why does it ask it only once?
The pictures are anything but clear.
At least for me, I wonder, am I drunk?
It surely is not for security!
It best be called, an irritating anomaly.

Remember we all use different devices.
Nonetheless, I’m not a robot.
It needs to destroyed into slices.



              1/12/2022

Not Sp-Here-Ing the Truth

Our earth rotates with a wobbly spin.. could that be
Indicative of the presence of sin? Not perfect yet living
Maybe that's so.? yet here's another truth many won't know'
A ball of Release was created and run where the sun
Starts to shine, while in the earth's north; there is none'
Reports from dead media, deny it was done.?
Yet I saw so many all enjoying their fun, it was titled
For freedom though to close it some tried, 
For to smile is now frowned on; and no singing inside.'
Like the scouring of 'the shire' in the Lord of the rings
How could it happen? In tightening things.? 
Fear was It's trigger; as deadly claims just grew bigger
In their 70 and 80s people's actions escape me.!
They'll do the mask-task, but ever do  they ask?
How they lived to this good age.? Were their mothers
So.. Unsage.? I'm sure they would cry if all this came
To their eyes.' This insult to good reason cap's 
The silliest of seasons.!

Endless Possibilities For Poem Ideas

Endless possibilities expand my dendrites, kicking up hopes.
Lasagna boat floats, Play Dough Dragon, Speedy envelopes
Wherever I turn I see another idea, which might be grand.
A pink penguin army shying away from a Mariachi band.

Orange stuffed chair just got mad and stomped out in a huff.
Formica table was laughing so hard, she tripped, sure enough.
Mud puddle mama is making her tree’s lipstick shine.
Other ideas are parading around; and they are all mine.

A blue and green necklace escaped from my treasure box.
They landed down river across from the home of a fox.
A crow got to it first and fell in love with its glitz.
What is happening to the sky? Is this another eclipse?

Things are happening so fast, I can barely keep up.
Trixie my muse is straddling a huge silver loving cup.
I ask her to explain and she gives me a look so very sly.
I dare not ask her anything else, yet not knowing why.

Coffee cup is in love with the Sharpie, but she is totally prissy.
She will not hold his handle or give him a wink or a kissy.
There is a blue mask that found his way downstream on his own.
These are just a few hundred ideas for tomorrow’s silliest poem.

Mirror Mirror On the Wall

Mirror Mirror on the wall who is the mouthiest witch of all?
The mirror is silent in the hall, gone away to another ball.
Sink Sink wearing pink, what do you think? What do you think?
The sink is gurgling like a drowning mink; spitting up some serious ink.

Toilet, Toilet, tell me true, who is the loudest witch of Boo?
Toilet laughs and swirls all full of goo, but never answers me or you.
Floor, floor, let me know please, which witch is the silliest tease?
The floor opens up and swallows the woman with a giant sneeze.

A Letter To My Future Self

Remember that day in ’86?
Yeah, yeah…that one…
damn I tried not to…you know
pass it on to you.
But ….. hey… it was kinda fun
in an adolescently asinine way.
Anyway, if you got this letter
you have outlived our agreed upon
expiration date.
That being the case
let me apologize for the messes
I left for you to clean up.
How are we doing anyway???
Still wearing flannel and blue jeans
or did the fashionistas finally
gain the upper hand?
About the grandkids…
sorry I taught them to spit
and swear…but remember
you had a hand in it too.
OK, what I really want to know
“DID WE I EVER GROW UP?”
I mean become – like –
“A responsible adult??? 
As of this writing
we haven’t made too much progress
but the grandkids think I am
“the silliest Papa”.
Hope they still remember that
as I remember them.
Actually, I hope the future
hasn’t changed them….or you.

Hope to see you soon
(but not too soon)

Your Self

9/19/2021

Letter to your future self Poetry Contest

John Cleese

If you feel too dejected to talk,
are alone and feel dull as a rock,
try to be at your ease,
imitate Mr. Cleese:
raise your legs for the silliest walk.

Head For the Hills

Run! Head for the hills they said in streams
We ran for our lives amid little ones’ screams
My heart was thumping as if we were in bobsled teams
I woke up down river in my nightmare’s silliest dreams

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