Short Yale Poems

373
So how
Do you
Expect me
To come up
With money
I don’t have
Out of the air
I’m in jail
Not at Yale...

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A lesson learnt in ancient Rome:
Beware the sun with sea-salt foam
But learnt at Yale
With skin so pale
Don't leave your bikini at home!...

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An Apprentice known only as, "Gale"
Screwed each of the students at Yale
When asked to explain
She replied with disdain,
"I had to make sure I made Bail!"...

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Harvard, M.I.T, Cambridge, Yale
Which career path did you choose?
Does your gift give or take
I would the to be smart it’s the most 
Prized possession of the dark arts...

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The pessimist Club
You think it will rain today?
No, barely "47%" chance




 Quotation from Mitt Romney in 2012 Presidential race.  Picked number 1 quote of 1012 by Yale...

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Once I thought 
I’d find the
future fraught. 

But luckily
Yale said I ought
earn their J.D.
I’ll soon be taught! 

Paralegal’s glee!
My doubts were for naught!
Soon I am to be
what hard work has wrought:
a keen attorney. 

12/22/2023
Written for Joseph May’s contest...

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THERE ONCE WAS A BOY WHO WAS A FRESHMAN

WHO’S STUDY HABITS WERE A MESS-MAN

TOM WOULD NEVER GRADUATE FROM YALE

HE WOULD SURELY WIND UP IN JAIL

ALWAYS HIDING AWAY FROM THE ARREST MAN


QUOTE:
" I'm so smart, I can fool myself,
but I'm too stupid to figure me out."
Warner Baxter  2015...

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Getting younger every day
being old not required.

N.B. Explanatory book titles
for Yale students below.

Teenager: When I threw up 
in the road.

Toddler: How I destroyed
the living room.

Baby: Look! I pooed in
the potty.

Foetus: My lonely life
in the womb.

Egg: My years waiting
for sperm.

Microbe: Infecting
President Trump....

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I thought you were trying to do your best.
You were supposed to study for your history test.
You got an F instead of an A.
Your education can't continue to go this way.

You'll need very good grades if you plan to go to Yale.
But you won't go to any college if you continue to fail.
I'm telling you this because I'm your buddy.
You need to apply yourself and study....

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I secured my car with Yale lock and key,

And merrily sauntered up the hotel lobby,

stuck my tongue out with a smile obscene,

I was rehearsing my role to play Mr. Bean!

The suit was perfect and so was the walk,

I gargled my words as Mr. Bean would talk,

laughter was stolen by an old lady, who imitated the Queen and winked at me!

18/06/2020
Contest: It is only make belief
Sponsor Regina Riddle...

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Let them argue with their ale
You beauty is true and never stale.
You sound like the ease of Yale.
Canst you help score my bale.

I wonder to wander in all kabusa.
I sing and rule with you like Mufasa
Your glory is yet to be seen by NASA
For you're the truth that strike than lamasia.

Glow beauty glow, you won.
Sing darling sing, you we adorn.
Fly Nenny Fly, you're a song.
Let me love you in rhymes till dawn...

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dictionary pup wanted to know each and every word.
he read the encyclopedias, which some said was absurd.
he took a pile of magazines and novels to his bed.
falling asleep among books that were green, blue and red.

you have to cut this out, his mother said, quite stern.
but how else will I glean knowledge? How else will I learn?
she had no argument for that, so he kept doing what he did.
he is a college professor at Yale, this inquisitive pup kid....

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Everyone who has money
should drop it in a vat and
anyone who needs money

should take what they need 
a Swede, a Dane and two 
Norwegians tell Fred, also an

economist who flew in from Yale.
After a three-day seminar in the
Antarctic, the four men sit down 

with tankards of ale, each comfy 
in a chaise lounge chair on 
an ice floe slowly melting.

Back at Yale, CNN interviews Fred 
about his book on the seminar.
The CIA is now investigating.


Donal Mahoney...

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For Langston Hughes

What sends them Harvard poets
I just couldn't do it, Sir: 
What sends them Harvard poets
I just couldn't do it, Sir:
They'll never give me a Pulitzer.

What tickles them Yale poets
Just leaves me sad an' a grievin':
What tickles them Yale poets
Leaves me sad an' a grievin':
Never seen no Birch trees 
On a snowy evenin'.

Then Oxford poets got they poems
An' I gots mine...
So I'll be movin' on, Langston
Movin' down the line....


Michael Ellis...

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Mr. Harvard

He stood there
With wide open eyes.
Mr. Harvard,
King of the skies.

We fell in love
And created hell.
All the games we played.
All the times we'd yell.

But none of them know-
Note Yale, Princeton, or Brown.
About our secret affair-
Our night on the town.
No. None will ever know
How we really feel.
Our secret is ours.
Our love is real.

It cries when it's hurt.
It laughs when it's happy.
With wide open eyes..
It looks like its' ... Daddy.

(c) 9/7/84...

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