Short Vicars Poems

What women stuff in their knickers
Would scare the Hell out of vicars
But girls must know
Win, Place, and Show
The Best of Blue Ribbon liquors...

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rain-clouds hide the sun - -
vicars splash the pope and run
on to kiss a nun

written 16th September for Nina's Mischief contest 
rhyming haiku...

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There once were two elderly vicars
Who had unreliable tickers
But they perked up no end 
When they saw a lass bend
And got a good view of her knickers...

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The fancy dress theme was religious
Some went as tarts and some, vicars
Yvonne found romance
wearing men's underpants
With a vicar in frilly white knickers...

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The Church ladies love tongue-tied vicars
Adept at removing their knickers
For many have found
That whetting the mound
Just beats the Hell out of bootlickers...

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What the Loo Cleaner Saw:

vicars' 
knickers

hippo's 
nipples

bidders' 
skidders

hatters' 
splatters

farters' 
garters

written 22nd October for Jan's Footles contest...

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There once was a party of vicars,
Well known for their liking of liquors,
They said to the masses:
‘Hey, look at our asses’,
And peeled off the skimpiest knickers.

For Roy’s Bawdy limerick contest...

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When the face of satan flickers
Across your heart and soul
Bishops, priests and vicars
Will show their sacred role

Their aim to help society
By teaching wrong from right
This variety of piety
Will keep you in the light...

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The medic said put on these knickers
By golly they caused me loud snickers
Featuring a butt flap
They are truly mad cap
Not ‘cut out’ for tea at the Vicars!

Some people would term them ‘moon panties’
Their massive like those of my aunties
You may not want to spoon
When panties show a ‘moon’
These truly are not ladies scanties!

Inspired by my recent colonoscopy experience!

07/19/20...

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