Short Vibrator Poems

To celebrate Cinco de Maio
She set her vibrator on "Gyro"
It started to hum 
When in walked her mum
 Et voilà! The State of Ohio!...

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THE VIBRATOR VIBRATES
THAT ‘S WHAT IT DOES
IT DOESN’T SUCK UP
NOR BLOW

BUT IT DOES HUM
IF YOU LISTEN INTENSELY
IT AWAKENS IN YOU 
STRAVINSKY’S FIREWORKS
IN 4/4*...

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The cock wakes her up in the morning 
she loves his cocka doodle ring  
its longer then hubbies thing 
thicker then a piece of string 
Perhaps a vibrator that sings ?...

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A beautiful lady from Kildare 
glued a vibrator to her rocking chair
The ladies from Inniskeen
Thought she was mean 
For being unwilling to share.

For the perfect limerick 2 contest
Sponsored by  Andrea Dietrich....

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Squeeze lemon on strange fishy tales.
Pick plasters gingery, while fondling the phone.
Lick long melted lines of Lolita ice-cream.
Sink their teeth into fingers of the hand that feeds them.

Chucks innocent chickens into cock fighting rings.
Knocks over tables and laughs. Ever-so-secretly, 
Wraps a vibrator, in paper, with red, printed kisses
Then posts it to that mad nun in Black Narcissus...

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Who is 
Who is this twerp to lecture me,
That I shouldn’t suck my spaghetti,
Put up the seat for we we we,
When I go on vacation,

How dare he say I caint text too,
Unhygienic, on the jolly loo,
Guess he thinks he’s Hitler new,
No cause for celebration.

What’s wrong with me new vibrator,
New gal says, she’ll catch me later,
Yes now I’m cast as woman hater,
it an me, amalgamation?

Don Johnson  9-aug-11...

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