Short Shopper Poems

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For Brian's April Footle contst  Won 3rd place...

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they hop they bop
some drive
move side to side
to park
get a start
theyer none stopper
SEASON SHOPPER...

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its fall
come all
that time
have sales in mind
get on line
snow or hail
and more to go
we got
SHOPPER HOLIDAY
BLOW OUT SALE...

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the city is jumping
shopper or thumping
getting ready
there minds or steady
some or windor rocking
walking and stopping
BIG CITY SHOPPING...

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a woman standing four foot two

went shopping to buy some shampoo

with shoppers aghast

a snob clerk let blast

madam what a meager hairdo....

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together
in this bad weather 
we shop until we drop
looking around town
up and down
hold hands llike know others
we were
HOLIDAY SHOPPER
LOVER...

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its pack and stack
its gifts
for mabe a stiff
wide and deep
drag near the feet
 some fess
whie windor stopping
its
CHRISTMAS SHOOPING
AND BAGS...

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Seeing aisles of messy shelves
Before a shopper even delves
Is a horrible curse
Which Whole Foods can reverse
With stockers who were Santa's elves
...

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as you go windor stop
or in store shop
there's crime 
kept this in mind
in every block
some will call you too
honey
HOLIDAY SHOPPER
WATCH YOUR MONEY...

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when my freind and eye
go shopping by
stores to stores more
as we we would go
we did and that
we stop had after i bought a aht
it  was
HOLIDAYS SHOPPER CHAT...

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they come to spend
some have a grim
from over the ocean
plane or in motion
to our cities and town
allaround
you see them hopping 
and bopper
HOLIDAY SHOPPER...

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There was a certain shopper at Walmart
Who would order a Danish and fart---
   But his diarrhea
   Gave him an idea--- 
He'd package and sell it as 'Cherry Tart'...

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around the world
there are boys girl
singing and jingling
christmas bell
you can tell
its love in the air
by the HOLIDAYS STOPPER
ITS
MUSIC FOR CHRISTMAS SHOPPER...

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its the season this reason
young old goat
dress in warm coats
walk up and down
listen to holiday sound
some have a hop
other none stopper
its
HOLIDAY WINDOR 
SHOPPER...

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as you hop
windor stop
this time of year
there's cart near
chestnuts other stuff
some like a log call hotdog
its quick  fixs
and a real deal
its
SHOPPER HOLIDAY MEAL...

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I only just begun to charge
Impulsive buys are way too large
My credit card sighs
While bankbook cries
My pay cheque I need to enlarge


*So many things to buy since I bought a house, but I really am a wise shopper : )...

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Singing While Wearing Sandals

What I wonder is who will be one who handles,
Some more problems that do involve scandals;
Frequent shopper,
And show stopper; 
Singing Star Spangle Banner wearing sandals?

Jim Horn...

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There was a young woman who liked to spend,
                Many days and nights without end.
                Her credit cards she did max;
                Must have been that awful tax.
                Residing now in the  women's pen....

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I made a secret shop today...
Drove to downtown Tampa Bay
We dined for free, or so they say
It's a lot of work for meager pay...

Timing the waiter's every action
While noting each tiny infraction
Caused me plenty of dissatisfaction
That will be my final interaction...
 Incognito...

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mr. rumble went to
the cumble


sat there and had a cafe 
with MR.and MRS.rafe 


saw the sun set up down 
and went to home with crukkle brown


lived in buffer  with ladle moffer 
to see the cauther ruffer 


mr . rumble went to shopper 
to buy lill  toffer 


had a lost journey with  cumble curney
oh ! mr  rumble...

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I am a shopper
That’s what I claim to be
Just look in my closet
And you’ll have to agree
Penney’s, Kohl’s and TJMaxx
Oh, how I wish you didn’t charge tax
You have the power to make my day
I search for a bargain
And never dismay
When I find an aisle
With a good array
I smile and say hooray
This is the way 
I like to spend my day

BJ Cuber...

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The lamb cried
The egg fried
The man worked
A woman smirked 

The leaf fell
The merchant will sell
The lady cooked
The trembling girl shook
The bird.squawked
A woman walked 

A dog barked
A car parked
A tired shopper
A long skirt is proper 

The wind whistled
The bell indicated dismissal
The sun shone in the midst of winter
A boy cried because of a splinter...

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Sarah Shopper!
Coupon please budget-y listen
and bankruptcy understand

That ATM Terminator is out there — 
It can’t be mall bargained with,
nor consumer reasoned with

An Automated Teller Machine 
doesn’t feel purse pity,
or cancelled check remorse
Or insolvency fear

And it absolutely 
will not cash register stop,
checkout ever!
Until you are empty pocket dead...

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Show your card to enter;
Gaze at all the piles – 
Boxes after boxes
Stacked for blocks or maybe miles.

All the sizes jumbo;
Price-wise it’s a steal.
To the average shopper
I can see that’s the appeal.

Maybe I’m too urban,
But it’s not my thing.
Shopping in a warehouse
Is, to me, a one-time fling.

I prefer my markets,
Though I pay much more,
For me and Costco somehow
Don’t have much of a rapport....

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People now walk up to copper,
Where Gold isn't for the hoper
And silver starves seekers proper:
Every single eager shopper...

Then go for the waiting copper,
Gold bound to be a Heart Stopper;
From behind bullets The Dropper
Your shooter off with his chopper.
Also, with your Gold - Changed Pauper;
You as dead as the grasshopper
That manure secures for a cropper...

Only go for precious Gold,
When it isn't hot to hold...

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